A rabbi, a Catholic priest, a black guy, the Duggars, a gay guy, a Chinese guy, a redneck, a Polish guy, a Muslim, an Indian, an Englishman, a Mexican, a mommyblogger, Tiger Woods, a fat guy, a redhead, a blonde and a brunette all made plans to go to the local watering hole one night.
The rabbi decided to stay home because they scheduled their night after happy hour and he really didn’t want to pay that many shekels for drinks.
The priest heard that K-mart had boys’ pants half off and went there instead.
The black guy had such a long, hard day avoiding work and cashing his welfare checks that he was too tired and stayed at home smoking pot.
The Duggars got pregnant again.
The gay guy got really interested in an episode of Martha Stewart and decided to bedazzle his curtains that night.
The Chinese guy was on his way but got into a car accident.
The redneck’s sister worked there and she wasn’t happy with him after he gave her herpes.
The Polish guy’s power went out at his apartment, and he waited for the flashing “12:00” on his clock to turn to the right time so he could leave.
The Muslim was on his way but saw a woman wearing a bathing suit and stopped off to stone her.
The Indian couldn’t figure out how to get his GPS working, but he ended up on hold for tech support for the next three hours and couldn’t understand what the fuck they were talking about.
The Englishman had to get up really early for a dentist appointment and opted not to go.
The Mexican guy was there, but he was in back washing dishes.
The Mommyblogger got pissed that the bar wasn’t giving away something for free and that they had sexist signs on their walls so she started a Twitter war.
Tiger Woods got asked not to go after he sent dirty text messages to the whole group.
The fat guy got stuck in the line at the Burger King drive-through where he was going to order fourteen burgers and a Diet Coke, and he cannibalized himself out of hunger.
The redhead saw that it was a full moon and went tearing off naked into the woods.
The blonde walked into the bar.