103 thoughts on “If life was a game show”

    1. @Sybil Law, that’s not his date! That’s $25,000/$100,000 Pyramid! If his life were a gameshow! YO! I used to eat smoked cheddar and drink Diet Coke while playing this game with my adult friend/neighbor when I was 10!!!

  1. I’ve been on that date, rather, being the person who had to witness an ex chew out the guy while I just sat there and was wondering what the hell was going on. Hope the woman had a sense of humor about all this.

      1. @Avitable, I believe so. I think my in-laws forced me to play it. Some things just don’t translate into board games. That and my in-laws are super competitive. They get all, “Imma gonna CUT YOU!” over most board games.

  2. You should have made a rudimentary sex pantomime with your fingers while locking eyes with your ex. You know the one…where you push your index finger through a ring you made with your other index finger and your thumb on the other hand. And then nodded at your date.

    It’s a tricky maneuver, because if your date sees it and she has NO intention of sleeping with you that evening…well, it can ruin the rest of the date. But if you pull it off? Genius.

  3. That’s terrible.
    And yes, awkward. But also, ninja stabbing you in the whatever body part you prefer. Seriously, you can’t see your dog?!
    Life stuff is just so effing messy.

    I like your drawing! You do comics well 🙂

  4. Wow. I mean…dang….I don’t even have words to express how awkward I feel FOR you!

    I hope the rest of the date was good though, and that the lucky lady let that moment slide in light of the rest of the good time she had with you!

  5. Your ex is a piece of work… kept the dog? Seriously?!?! She deserves to be the one out with a friend rather than a date. Good for you! (but I could see how it would be awkward to have to introduce your date to your ex… icky)

  6. Also awkward…running into your ex in a town he doesn’t live in, but you DO live in, because you moved there to get away from him, and meeting his date who also happens to be a coworker from another part of the company you work for who you see on a daily basis and she comes up and says hi and introduces him to you and you both stand there awkwardly and you finally mumble “Nice to see you again” and he gives you that look (the one he used to give you that made you melt but now makes your stomach turn) and says hi like it’s perfectly normal for him to be 2 hours north of home and dating a coworker and he kisses her in front of you and leaves and says see you around. Yeah. I feel your pain.
    Sorry about the dog. That’s almost worse than all the rest. Almost.

  7. The loss of an animal companion carries the very same emotional toll as that of a human companion — in some cases, more so. I fully understand how devastated you must feel. If there is any consolation to be had at all, this will hopefully mean you won’t need to have any further contact with your ex … and she will no longer have anything to hold over your head or use as a weapon. xoxox

      1. @Avitable, of course there’s no replacing Jigsaw, but a new dog can do wonders therapeutically, although of course you no longer need or want therapy! But it would be nice for the company! I think you should get one for sure.

  8. Numbered, because I feel like it.
    1) Better to run into her whilst on a date than while renting pornos. Talk about awkward….
    2)The dog thing is just freaking wrong. Especially if it was in retaliation. Sometimes people (even normally good/smart/whatever people) can be so damn mean/stupid/etc.
    3)Yay dates!
    4)Ninja Zombies

  9. Dude. Yes.
    It’s also awkward to be out because you don’t have your kid and run into your ex at the bar. Especially when he lives 3 hours away and is supposed to have your kid.
    And then he starts an awkward text messaging fight with you about….whatever.

  10. The dog part made me sad. I thought it was really cool when you said you used to drive over to the house, go to the gate, doggie would get in car, and you’d return before the ex got home. Such a shame everyone has to suffer, especially if the dog has to be alone all day now when it was used to the companionship. 🙁

    And yeah… totally awkward. YIKES.

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