Things that are funnier than The Bill Engvall Show
The answers to life
A 21-day chronicling of the life of a 16-year old Avitable
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Find me at:
Yeah – but YOU made a cool cartoon! Suck that!
P.S – Your date looks like a man…
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Twitter: poppycede
, August 31st, 2010: 12:06 AM
@Sybil Law, that’s not his date! That’s $25,000/$100,000 Pyramid! If his life were a gameshow! YO! I used to eat smoked cheddar and drink Diet Coke while playing this game with my adult friend/neighbor when I was 10!!!
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@Sybil Law, that’s true. My cartoon IS cool.
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I have to re -comment –
Things that make you cringe!
Oh, fuck it – I have a buzz.
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@Sybil Law, things that you smoke or drink?
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Now I guess you never need to respond to my email. Hmm.
No more Jigsaw?
I did not know that. I haz a sad.
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@Poppy, yeah, it’s sad.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Oh, and btw: AWKWARD. She seriously must have watched the last season of The Hills.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Ouch
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@Amanda, that which doesn’t kill us makes us something something.
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Twitter: Amanda234
, August 31st, 2010: 1:41 AM
@Avitable, Uncomfortable?
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@Amanda, I would accept that or “go crazy”.
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I’ve been on that date, rather, being the person who had to witness an ex chew out the guy while I just sat there and was wondering what the hell was going on. Hope the woman had a sense of humor about all this.
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@Fluffycat, I didn’t get chewed out- she was friendly in a snide way, so that was nice.
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Twitter: Barking_Mad
says:
What’s even more awkward is when your date is his boss. Well, in my case it was his boss.
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@Audrey at Barking Mad, you dated your ex’s boss? Whoa.
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
Paper! Snow! A ghost!
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@Dave2, you make Dick Clark sad.
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Twitter: Blogography
, August 31st, 2010: 1:34 AM
No… I believe it was Donny Osmond.
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@Dave2, I had never seen that clip – I forgot that Friends used to be funny!
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…but you were on a date. It’s better than running into her at the grocery store while you’re buying frozen dinners.
Please tell me you didn’t end the date by bringing her home and playing Pyramid, the board game.
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@Employee No.699, no, I did not. Is there a board game version of the $10,000 Pyramid?
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Twitter: thepsychobabble
, August 31st, 2010: 4:09 PM
@Avitable, I believe so. I think my in-laws forced me to play it. Some things just don’t translate into board games. That and my in-laws are super competitive. They get all, “Imma gonna CUT YOU!” over most board games.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
You should have made a rudimentary sex pantomime with your fingers while locking eyes with your ex. You know the one…where you push your index finger through a ring you made with your other index finger and your thumb on the other hand. And then nodded at your date.
It’s a tricky maneuver, because if your date sees it and she has NO intention of sleeping with you that evening…well, it can ruin the rest of the date. But if you pull it off? Genius.
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@B.E. Earl, next time.
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Twitter: ellemmes
says:
Oh. Damn. Ouch.
But yay! Date!
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@Lisa, yes.
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Twitter: kimt205
says:
Was it cool western music with a harmonica and everything?
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@Kim, I don’t know, but I saw a tumbleweed.
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That’s terrible.
And yes, awkward. But also, ninja stabbing you in the whatever body part you prefer. Seriously, you can’t see your dog?!
Life stuff is just so effing messy.
I like your drawing! You do comics well
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@Cri, thanks for the comment and visit!
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Twitter: perpstu
says:
Woohoo for the date! The rest made my stomach do that weird, clenchy yuck thing. Awkward is right.
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@Karin, yeah, it took twenty minutes for me to feel normal again.
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I’ve read you probably for close to two years. I am just a bad commenter. I feel major awkward usually >.<
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@Cri, well, glad that you commented then!
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Okay, well, um it’s cool you had a date though?
But BOO to the revoking of doggy custody. That’s pretty bitchy. No pun intended.
Although it is sort of a funny one, now that I made it.
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@Calliope, you are quite punny.
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Twitter: CorrinRenee
says:
Whoa! You can’t see your dog? I’d cut a bitch.
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@Corrin, we had words and that was the result of said words, unfortunately.
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Wow. I mean…dang….I don’t even have words to express how awkward I feel FOR you!
I hope the rest of the date was good though, and that the lucky lady let that moment slide in light of the rest of the good time she had with you!
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@Cissa Fireheart, yeah, she was a great sport about it.
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
Blogging was invented for scenarios like this. I can’t wait for more awkwardness!
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@Muskrat, me either! My pain is someone else’s chuckles.
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Twitter: mapsgirl
says:
Your ex is a piece of work… kept the dog? Seriously?!?! She deserves to be the one out with a friend rather than a date. Good for you! (but I could see how it would be awkward to have to introduce your date to your ex… icky)
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@mapsgirl, I think she was just hurting and trying to find a way to hurt me.
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Twitter: mapsgirl
, August 31st, 2010: 9:34 PM
@Avitable, Emotions take over sometimes, don’t they. I guess dogs, like kids, get stuck in the middle sometimes.
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@mapsgirl, yup.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
It could have been worse. It could have been much, much worse. But ouch, baby. Very ouch.
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@Finn, yeah, it could have been, you’re right.
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Twitter: GrandeMocha
says:
Poor Avitable, no doggy. I’m sad for you.
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@GrandeMocha, at this point, I’ve gotten used to not having the responsibility so maybe it’s a good thing.
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Twitter: ItsToni
says:
Having a brain fart…what’s the word? Um…trashy? No…tactless? No…inappropriate? Umm…I think it starts with a B and ends with something like ITCH.
So sorry.
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@Toni, yowch.
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Ha ha – that’s funny, that thing you made up.
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@Grant, I is a laughmachine.
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Twitter: LeSombre
says:
Dude. Your date has a unibrow. I can clearly see it, even from the side.
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@LeSombre, you know that’s a 70s contestant of $25,000 Pyramid, right? I think you do but you’re just fucking with me. I’m not sure.
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Twitter: LeSombre
, August 31st, 2010: 9:41 PM
@Avitable, I like to keep you on your toes.
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
That’s not awkward at all. I don’t know what your problem is!
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@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, I know, right? It’s totally all me.
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Ugghh….I know what would make you feel better. Cookies! Baking this weekend….email me your address, sugar.
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@Dragon, mmmmmmm.
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Also awkward…running into your ex in a town he doesn’t live in, but you DO live in, because you moved there to get away from him, and meeting his date who also happens to be a coworker from another part of the company you work for who you see on a daily basis and she comes up and says hi and introduces him to you and you both stand there awkwardly and you finally mumble “Nice to see you again” and he gives you that look (the one he used to give you that made you melt but now makes your stomach turn) and says hi like it’s perfectly normal for him to be 2 hours north of home and dating a coworker and he kisses her in front of you and leaves and says see you around. Yeah. I feel your pain.
Sorry about the dog. That’s almost worse than all the rest. Almost.
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@Charissa, wow, that IS awkward!
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Twitter: snerkology
says:
Well, crap. Suckitude.
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@Tiffany, it’s okay, though. I survived!
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The loss of an animal companion carries the very same emotional toll as that of a human companion — in some cases, more so. I fully understand how devastated you must feel. If there is any consolation to be had at all, this will hopefully mean you won’t need to have any further contact with your ex … and she will no longer have anything to hold over your head or use as a weapon. xoxox
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@DanjerusKurves, yeah, true. Thanks.
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Wow, that’s awkward! Sorry you lost your dog : ( But I hope the new girl (date) is great : )
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@cat, I’ll probably get a new dog at some point in the future. Maybe.
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@Avitable, of course there’s no replacing Jigsaw, but a new dog can do wonders therapeutically, although of course you no longer need or want therapy! But it would be nice for the company! I think you should get one for sure.
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Well that sucks, but what the hell is your date wearing? What an odd top.
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@Hockeymandad, sigh. It’s a contestant on $25,000 Pyramid, not my date!
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You had a date and she was out with a girlfriend. Just sayin’
Sorry to hear about the doggie custody battle that’s just low.
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@Neeroc, yeah, that’s true.
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If you’d have been out with your buddies she probably wouldn’t have messed with you at all, but to see you’re out there dating already… Trust me, no matter how ugly it’s been between you, that had to sting!
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@SisterMerryHellish, if I had been in her shoes, I would have continued on my merry way, though.
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Twitter: leeleykeel
says:
yup, awkward. bummer. great artwork though, so, yay!
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@leel, artwork trumps all.
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No more dog? Sad! But the comic made me laugh so guess it all evens out. Or you know, not at all. That sucks.
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@Jen, totally evens out.
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Twitter: Zakary
says:
I’m sorry, that is indeed all kinds of awkward. However, my eyeballs were gifted with that cartoon, so it makes it okay. At least for me.
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@Zak, I’m glad I could gift your eyeballs.
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Twitter: thepsychobabble
says:
Numbered, because I feel like it.
1) Better to run into her whilst on a date than while renting pornos. Talk about awkward….
2)The dog thing is just freaking wrong. Especially if it was in retaliation. Sometimes people (even normally good/smart/whatever people) can be so damn mean/stupid/etc.
3)Yay dates!
4)Ninja Zombies
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@thepsychobabble, ninja zombies indeed.
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Wow. That does sound really fucking awkard…who would have thought you lived in such a small town?!! BTW I like the new layout!
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@Meagan, we frequent all the same places.
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Dude. Yes.
It’s also awkward to be out because you don’t have your kid and run into your ex at the bar. Especially when he lives 3 hours away and is supposed to have your kid.
And then he starts an awkward text messaging fight with you about….whatever.
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@Miss Grace, wow, that’s more than awkward, that’s shitty!
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS TODAY?
Also?
SHE IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS.
Heh.
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@Faiqa, I’m literally terrified.
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Twitter: laurie_pooh
says:
The dog part made me sad. I thought it was really cool when you said you used to drive over to the house, go to the gate, doggie would get in car, and you’d return before the ex got home. Such a shame everyone has to suffer, especially if the dog has to be alone all day now when it was used to the companionship.
And yeah… totally awkward. YIKES.
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@Laurie, she bought our dog a companion dog, so I guess that’s something.
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
No more Jigsaw?
Category : Things that friends should not find out via poorly drawn cartoons.
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Twitter: s_csr
, September 1st, 2010: 2:47 PM
Oh! And did she at least warn your date that you were a major tool underneath that cuddly hug and blue nail polish?
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Twitter: NenetteAM
says:
A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
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@Nenette, you win our home game!
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As far as nightmares go, that same situation happening to me would be one.
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@Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy, yeah, it was pretty awful.
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Well that just effing sucks. I suppose because Jigsaw is “only” a dog and you don’t share genetic material with her that your feelings are Null.
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@Jennifer, I think it was her only remaining way to hurt me.
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Oooh we’ve got a three hour car ride to talk about awkward. I’ve got a few. Or maybe one…
Anyways, want me to come there and kidnap your dog back?
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@Miss, I look forward to dishing. And thanks for offering -you’re very sweet.
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