It’s just a series of writing prompts, encouraging you to be honest and truthful. I liked the idea and thought I’d use them whenever I want something to discuss. Here are the prompts if you want to do them yourself:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Let’s start with Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
I am unable to shut my brain off. I am completely and utterly unable to commit myself wholly to the task in front of me. I could be on a tropical island making love to a beautiful woman, and while I’d be thoroughly enjoying the experience, I’d still be thinking about what I was going to eat for dinner and what I needed to do tomorrow.
I hate this about myself. I know people who can lose themselves in the moment. They’re able to give their entire minds, hearts and souls to whatever activity they’re doing. These people don’t notice pain or distraction – they embody the phrase “in the moment”.
Not me. One reason that I stay up so late until I fall asleep at my computer is that it’s the only way I can sleep. If I attempt to go to bed early without being exhausted, I will lay there and think and ruminate and philosophize and organize and prioritize until I need to get up and do something.
It’s one reason that I’m bad at yoga and meditation. Even while trying to consciously clear my mind and relax, I’ll start counting the tiles in the floor or the nails in the walls or reading every word that I can see from where I am. Then I’ll try to rearrange the letters into new words or find patterns wherever I’m looking.
I’ve always been like this, for as long as I can remember. As a little boy, I used to go sit on the toilet in the bathroom and while I was pooping, which always took forever, I would read everything in the bathroom, from the shampoo bottles to everything under the counter. Then I’d count all of the bolts and nuts and screws in the entire room and extrapolate that to the entire house and keep counting until I had, by my estimation, counted every screw in the house. It was impossible for me to just sit there and poop.
Even when drinking alcohol, it’s rare that I reach a state when I don’t think about other things. I’ve tried driving 120 miles an hour down the interstate at 3 in the morning with my headlights off, my windows down, and my radio blaring, hoping to focus my full attention on not dying, but as I concentrate on the road, all I can think about is what would happen if I died, or what if I was in an accident and lost my legs or what type of car I would want if I totaled this one and walked away unharmed. I’m not sure how one shuts one’s brain off, without resorting to pharmacological solutions that I am not willing to entertain, but I hope there comes a time when I’m able to experience something with the clarity that comes with complete and full attention.