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30 Days of Truth Day 3: Forgiving Myself

I said I wasn’t going to do these for thirty days consecutively, but only use them as writing prompts when needed.  Well, since I leave tonight for Burlington, Vermont, for four days and have a shitload to do before I go, plus have added work-related stress, I needed a prompt.  And here we go:

This is Day 3 of the 30 Days of Truth series. (Day 12).

What’s something you have to forgive yourself for?

I’ve forgiven myself for all of my transgressions, all of the times that I thought I was being the best friend someone could ask for when I was being selfish.  I’ve thought through my motivations, I’ve looked at the lessons I’ve learned, and I’ve looked at the positive results that have come from actions I have considered despicable.  And I’m finally okay with it all.  So what’s left?

I forgive myself for being afraid of change.  I forgive myself for being so worried about controlling everything around me that I let myself stagnate and suffer in silence.  I forgive myself for being in the way of my own personal, emotional, and mental growth.

Even more importantly, I know what I need to strive towards.  I need to be happy.  I need to put my needs ahead of those of others if necessary.  I will not impede my own path any longer.

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32 Replies to “30 Days of Truth Day 3: Forgiving Myself”

  1. Nanna

    Just so you know, I consider to be an ongoing thing. Like screwing up is an ongoing thing. You’ll never have it COMPLETELY all together in every single area, so give yourself a break, son. Sheesh. 🙂

  2. amanda

    I think it’s interesting that you still see yourself as being in your own way.

    You seem to be out grabbing life by the short and curlies – and that is a good thing.

    Your decision to conquer your fear of change (while forgiving yourself for having that fear in the fist place) is, dare I say it, inspirational.

  3. hpflo

    It takes courage to open yourself to others. And I am very glad that you choose to do so with this challenge…It brings hope that people truly can look within and reflect on oneself. Change isn’t a bad thing….I leave you with, “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”-Marilyn Monroe.
    Awesome post Mr. Avitable 😉

  4. mwork

    i think we were separated at birth.
    i would do ANYTHING for my friends while i put myself on the back-burner.
    and so many times i reflect on how i’m not caring for myself bc of this thoughtful nature.
    but then i just go back into my old habits and drop everything for a friend in need.

  5. Grant

    Couldn’t you forgive yourself for not posting more pictures of hot Asian women? Or, better yet, quit doing that (NOT posting pics of hot Asian women)? Also, you should apologize for being a lot like me but doing it way better.

  6. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    I think life is a series of selfish decisions. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. We do need those selfish decisions to stay happy within our individual frames of reality. It’s when those selfish actions adversely affect those around us that they are poor. All I ever ask of my loved ones is they be happy. Be happy, Adam!

  7. Chibi Jeebs

    How did (are) you moving past wanting/needing/trying to control everything? Is it just a case of mind over matter? Or are you just forgiving yourself for worrying about it? Genuinely curious because damn do I need to get past the control thing, too.

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