The horrifying, angsty, overly dramatic, really bad poetry of Adam Avitable, age 15, in which I invoke Satan.

A horrible thing happened on August 6, 1992. It was devastating and completely shattered my world. The only problem is that I don’t remember what it was. I don’t remember anything happening that was so destructive that I wanted to die. The only reason that I’m aware of this life-changing event is the following evidence: 6 poems that I found (along with the journal I posted last Tuesday) that are all signed and dated for 8/6/92. 6 poems that were written by a tortured 15-year old boy who either wanted to be swallowed up by the earth or maybe shoot up a school. I’m not sure. The embarrassing (and slightly frightening) proof is yours to see:

Agnosticism – 8/6/92


If there was a God,
He’d kill me.
If there was a God,
I wouldn’t be allowed to suffer anymore.
I have lived too long,
And seen all there is to see.
I have lived too long,
I know all that is possible to know.

God wouldn’t torture me like this.
He is supposedly merciful.
God wouldn’t allow people to look at me like they do.
He should have a heart.

What purpose do I serve?
Am I a comic? Well, people do laugh.
However, this so-called “God” would allow me to be hit by a car.
That would be funny.

I don’t believe in a God – he would have killed me by now.
Therefore, I call on the other . . .

Relieve my pain!!

Hell Sweet Home:

Hell . . .
Fiery, burning, scalding, scorching, crackling, hot, sizzling, frying, cooking, screaming.

Or is hell . . .
Cold, freezing, solidifying, lowering, shivering, moaning, chattering, shaking, whimpering.

Who knows? I do, for it is neither, but

a melting pot,
pardon the pun,
of both worlds.

People say we couldn’t stand hell. They are wrong.
Dead wrong.

We can stand it, we do stand it, we have been standing it, and we will stand it forever.



Flowers – 8/6/92


Too much water will kill a soul.
No water leaves nothing a t’all.
Sun can be good for a while.
Too much sun will start to fry.
Flowers and people, just alike.
Always someone bigger who can crush them.

Helen Keller Had It Better – 8/6/92

Helen Keller Had It Better:

Eyeless, she stumbles through the corridor.
Tongueless, she growls and mumbles at people she cannot hear.
Like an animal, she climbs up . . . up . . . up.
Wind whips her around like a small kitten
falling from a cliff.
Asking for forgiveness and getting blessed, she sees.
And hears.
And smells.
And tastes.
And talks.
With a shriek, she sees what she now wishes she hadn’t.
The world, teeming with people like ants on a disturbed mound.

Gravesite at Mourning (sic) – 8/6/92

Gravesite at Mourning:

I’m cold.
teeth chattering.
I’m scared.
monster yelling.
I’m defenseless.
gun backfiring.
I’m alone.
silence deafening.
I’m dead.
people singing.

Mirrors Hate You – 8/6/92

Mirrors Hate You:

Pain washes over me like a downpour over a flower, alone in a meadow.
I scream and yell and gnash my teeth, and my silence is deafening.
Blood storms in to visit my exterior; however, it is in an uninvited guest.
My common sense is commandeered by animal instinct, and I search for the cause of my pain.
I can’t see him, but I smell him and hear him, and feel him, and knows he’s there.
Knowing what I had to do, I took my sharp pain and thrusted
-into my attacker’s chest
-into my attacker’s neck
-into my attacker’s eye

It worked! It worked! As I lay dying on the floor, blood flowing as freely as the words from a little girl, I realize that my assailant and I were


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65 Replies to “The horrifying, angsty, overly dramatic, really bad poetry of Adam Avitable, age 15, in which I invoke Satan.”

  1. SisterMerryHellish

    That’s some pretty dark and twisted teenager-y stuff. I’ve come across some of my own not too long ago and have no idea who prompted such enveloping sadness but I’m glad to be done with it! It’s always odd to me when people say they wished they could relive high school. Not if you paid me, buddy. Not if you paid me.

  2. Liv2Fly88

    “What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?” -Rob, High Fidelity

    I think maybe they should re-shoot that scene in the movie and reference “poetry from Avitable” instead of “pop music.”

  3. CharissaRenee

    This is why I burned a copy of a Truly Awful and Embarrassing short story I came across a few years ago written by 17 year old me. No evidence of it remains to be used against me when I finally crack!

  4. Kirsty

    LOOOOVVVVVEEE “Helen Keller had it better” – an absolute masterpiece, complete with Appollinaire-style word-image…
    I have a whole collection of wretched teenage diaries, too, and am seriously praying that my dad never found them (or at least never read them) when he moved… All full of teenage why-don’t-boys-like-me angst (though, of course, I still don’t have the answer to that question, and I’m OLD now).

  5. Valerie

    My surprise is that they’re all dated the same (quite an output), are of different forms and general subjects, and not one of them rhymes. It’s hard to write so much poetry without throwing in one that rhymes.

  6. Maritza

    What makes me really laugh is knowing that if you would have given these to me during like homeroom, I would have totally done you or something except that in 1992 I was already a grown up. So, let’s pretend it was 1982, I was dressed like Molly Ringwald, you were dressed like Robert Smith from the Cure, you stared at the ground, opened up your TrapperKeeper and handed these to me.

    I would have swooned.

  7. Rachael

    I have a two inch binder full of poetry. I think some of it is okay, but most of it is really bad. I also have 20+ journals full of stuff from 6th grade through age 20. I should put more of it on my blog.

  8. mapsgirl

    Wow! For 15, you wrote well. The topics of your writing are bit concerning though. Glad that has passed and that you didn’t act on any of your thoughts.

    That being said, I think your drawing skills have improved with time. I like the more current AHA creations much better.

  9. Poetry

    I cherished up to you’ll obtain carried out right here. The caricature is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get bought an shakiness over that you would like be turning in the following. ill no doubt come more beforehand once more since exactly the same just about a lot ceaselessly inside of case you shield this hike.

  10. sybillaw

    I like the one about Hell.
    The others make me want to slit my wrists – the wrong way, like all the drama queen bitches did in junior high.
    I can’t even look at my old journals from my 20’s because… oh GOD I was lame.

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