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39 Things That Annoy Me

  1. Subways
  2. Bad grammar
  3. Slow drivers
  4. Lasagna
  5. Holes in socks
  6. Bad smells
  7. The Real Housewives of Anywhere
  8. Tomato Sauce
  9. Team Edward
  10. Sports
  11. Sports fans
  12. Activists
  13. The Tea Party
  14. Betty White overexposure
  15. Big Bang Theory
  16. Bad breath
  17. Anything tartare
  18. Calling a lakeside a “beach”
  19. Clients who have no reading comprehension
  20. Facebook pages that are the new “chain mail”
  21. My weight
  22. Katherine Heigl movies
  23. People who don’t read
  24. Strawberries that aren’t covered in sugar
  25. Waiters who try to be your friend instead of your server
  26. Plagiarists
  27. Bandwagon jumpers
  28. Mobs
  29. Being a NYC person or a LA person
  30. Thinking marriage is ruined if same sex couples can marry
  31. The Iowa Supreme Court debacle
  32. Glenn Beck
  33. Payroll
  34. Whoever said that suspenders are not en vogue
  35. Relish on hot dogs
  36. People who don’t get “Community” or “30 Rock”.
  37. Jack Johnson
  38. Wasted time
  39. Flatulence

What annoys you?

134 thoughts on “39 Things That Annoy Me”

  1. people who don’t like NY and LA people!

    I was born in LA and love it here. It’s so easy to lump large groups of people together and assume they share the worst characteristics of a few. We’re all individuals.

    Also? Betty White overexposure, chocolate-covered anything, steampunk and Hipstamatic pics of kids and trash clogging up my Facebook – not everything is “art”

  2. Teenagers. Specifically, my 15 year old female hot mess. Argh….

    Although those Tea Party people are twits, and holes in socks really piss me off too, especially when it’s a hole in the toe ~

    But hey, I like relish on my hot dog (did that come out dirty?….I meant…oh never mind)

    PS I’m Team Jacob

  3. Twilight fans
    Shredded cheese packages that don’t rip where they’re supposed to rip
    People who babble all the time
    Holiday BS shoved at me far too early
    People… well, most of them… well, I seem to feel better when they’re not around…
    Wiener dogs
    I could go on and on.
    But that annoys me, too.

    1. @Dave2, the problem is that instead of letting her do comedy, her role has started to be relegated to “old lady who says something that’s funny because it’s shocking coming from Betty White” and I’d rather see stuff like when she was in “Lake Placid”.

  4. People who put their toilet paper on backwards. Seriously, folks, it’s supposed to roll AWAY from the wall, not against it. If you don’t believe me, go look it up at Emily/Elizabeth/Lizzie Post.

  5. Okay, you asked for it –
    1. Police officers who don’t use their turn signals when changing lanes or turning. WTF?
    2. Cereal packages that you try to pull apart at the top but instead the whole thing rips open and cereal flies everywhere.
    3. Cars behind me at stoplights with their music so loud that MY windows are vibrating.
    4. When magazine articles refer to eyelashes as “lashes” and hair as “strands” or “tresses”. Like nails on a chalkboard.
    5. When I see a handwritten sign on a 6th grade teacher’s door that has misused plurals AND apostrophes on it. Seriously.
    6. When my boys drink a glass of water and then just leave the glass next to the sink for me to wash. Really? It’s so tough to rinse out your glass and put it on the drainer? grrr.
    7. My husband’s pronounciation of “parmesan” as “par-MEE-zee-an”.
    8. The tip jars on the counter at coffee shops. What’s next, tip jars on the counter at McDonalds? Making my coffee is your job and it’s not like you walk over to my table and ask if I want a refill. Do that and I’ll give you a tip!
    9. People who use “loose” when they mean “lose”. As in, “I need to loose some weight.” GAHHHHH.
    10. People who only friended me on Facebook so they can ask me on a daily basis to vote for them in some contest I care nothing about.
    11. The Real Housewives of Anywhere and all the shows about the “fascinating” lives of celebrities and their families. Coming next season – “The Judds,” “Carson-Nation” (Carson Kressley) and “Ryan and Tatum: The O’Neals”. I also read that Lara Flynn-Boyle is getting a show because apparently her life is fascinating, AND last night I saw a promo for a new show about the “real” lives of Joan and Melissa Rivers! ENOUGH, already.
    12. Mushrooms. Of any kind, in or on anything.

    I’m sure I’ll be back later when I think of more 🙂

    1. @Elizabeth @ Table for Five, this:
      When I see a handwritten sign on a 6th grade teacher’s door that has misused plurals AND apostrophes on it. Seriously.

      The errors in newsletters sent home by my kids’ teachers horrify me. I see these things in letters from the system administration, even! Grrr.

  6. Wholesale customers who think I have nothing better to do than chase them down for late payments.

    Customers who tell me that LUSH is saving the planet. *keyboard thump*

    Customers who say “why should I pay $6.00 for a bar of soap when I can buy it for a dollar at the dollarama”. Go for it!!

    People who beleive that the world revolves around them.

    People who cannot admit and acknowledge that they’ve made a mistake.

    People who drive 80 on the highway when the limit is 100. 110 if you’re alive.

    People who write “alot” instead of “a lot”.

    Selfish/self absorbed people.

  7. You’re the second person this week I’ve heard doesn’t like lasagna! How can it be so?!

    1. People who can’t chew with their mouths closed
    2. Drama Queens
    3. Tom & Jerry after they revamped it
    4. It being tank top and Daisy Duke weather at Christmas
    5. That my desk flask has been empty since Monday at 9am

  8. Adam,
    You have said some things that I think are offensive but Team Edward annoying you is by far the most offensive thing you have ever said.

    Now to things that annoy me:
    How my husband chews
    The state of Ohio foster care system
    The if you don’t post this as your Facebook status

  9. I do not understand my weight either.

    Or Jack Johnson.

    Or why you hate lasagna. Prepared correctly, it is delicious. I layer it with bechamel sauce and that makes an enormous difference.

    I do hate socks in general. And Vampires of all kinds.

  10. Why only 39?
    I share many of your items but I am some of your items. I’m just not an asshole about it. I will add political commercials, assholes, dumb-ass bosses with moronic approaches to leadership of the important shit, and wet socks.

    1. @Finn, Seconded.

      Now excuse me while I go ride a subway in NYC while wearing my Yankee cap and eating lasagna smothered in tomato sauce. I may even chuckle fondly over something silly that Sheldon did on TBBT last week. Pllbbbttt!!!

  11. People who litter
    Automatic toilets
    When bloggers address their readers as “Internet.” I know a lot of people do it but it grates on me EVERY TIME.
    Having to get up for the bouquet toss at every damn wedding I go to, with fewer and fewer other single ladies.
    Everyone at the airport
    Waiters who ask if I want my change. Yes. I ALWAYS want my change. I also always tip and I will tip you but it will be AFTER YOU GIVE ME BACK MY CHANGE.

  12. Here are just a few
    The word “Moist”
    Socks with sandals
    Paul Schaffer
    Shovelling snow off my sidewalk
    online dating sites
    people who are easily annoyed! 🙂

    I am surprised lurkers was not on your list! 😉

  13. Oh my list is like yours, only MUCH longer. I won’t list it all here, though.

    I agree with you about so many things – like bad grammar (your/you’re – ahhhh!!!!!) people calling a lakeside a beach, activists, slow/bad drivers, people who don’t read and relish on hot dogs or hamburgers. Relish is GROSS. But I do like playing with the little relish packages, though – the squishy feeling? Kind of cool. I like moving it and squishing it back and forth… I like that.

    However. I’m going to have to disagree with on lasagna. Clearly you haven’t yummy Greek lasagna. You would love it!

      1. @Avitable, 10. Sports (love)
        11. Sports fans (am)
        22. Katherine Heigl movies (how can you not like Knocked Up?)
        24. Strawberries that aren’t covered in sugar (strawberries are fucking delicious)
        26. Plagiarists (I used to write college papers for money, plagiarists paid my utility bills)
        36. People who don’t get “Community” or “30 Rock” (I don’t get Community, and while I love Joel McHale, I don’t think he can act)
        37. Jack Johnson (thank you college)
        38. Wasted time (pretty much my entire life)

        1. @Miss Grace, Knocked Up is an Apatow film that I love – it just happens to star Katherine Heigl. You totally need to give Community another chance, too – it’s hilarious!

          The rest I can just roll my eyes at and sigh quietly. Except you are not wasting time – that’s one where you’re wrong.

  14. I love me some lasagna.

    Things that annoy me:
    -red lights
    -holiday commercials that started in September
    -hair gel
    -Spanish people who speak perfectly good English, without an accent, but use the craziest accent whenever they say a word remotely Latin-sounding, or a Latin name. I love accents that are genuine, not weird forced oh-hay-I-know-Spanish accents.

  15. Things that annoy me:
    1) cupboard doors that are left open
    2) things that don’t get put away
    3) drivers who zoom past you in an unsafe manner because they’re in SUCH a hurry…only to arrive at the next red light 0.348 sec before you do
    4) people who jump the queue
    5) bad customer service
    6) poor grammar
    7) pee on toilet seats

    I’m feeling rather cranky this week. I’ll stop there or we might still be here next week.

  16. Telemarketers.

    Machines that answer for companies, like Comcast. If I wanted to talk to a robot, I’d talk to my effing Roomba.

    People who only buy things if they have a coupon for it. “No wait, I can’t buy that item. My coupon has expired. Please take it off my bill.”

    Jackass. The television show. Or movie. Maybe it’s both.

    Dog hair on my stuff. If I could, I’d have a hairless dog. Or no dog.

    The fact that my ex didn’t take his effing dog when he left me.

    Okay, I’m stopping now.

  17. I agree with you about many things, including Jack Johnson, bad grammar and Katherine Heigl, but what could possibly be annoying about lasagna? I am also annoyed by:
    1. rulebreakers
    2. 90 degree weather in November
    3. those new sandals that are all the rage among kids these days that look like they belong in the movie Gladiator
    4. the entire political system

  18. Here’s my list…

    annoying supervisors
    people eating near me (I really don’t know why)
    bad grammar
    I can haz anything (thank you lovely girl from work for ALL those emails)
    mixed vegetables
    hamburger helper (no I do not like any kind)
    People who assume that my truck must really belong to my husband who must be a marine, hello go around back and look at all the lezzie stickers. It belongs to my wife, yo!

      1. @Avitable, No restaurants don’t bother me. It really is more the sound of people chewing near me when there isn’t enough noise to drown them out. It’s not that they’re chewing with their mouthes closed, it’s that I can hear them chewing period. Just weird, right??

  19. I think the most annoying thing in the world is when you put on pants without realizing there’s a dryer sheet in the leg (probably up somewhere by the crotch or something where you can’t fish it out in public) and you’re stuck in a meeting or in class and you have to just ignore it until you can get to a latrine. But at least you smell April fresh.

  20. Twihards
    People who interrupt me when I’m watching a new episode of anything (ie. my husband)
    Anyone who can’t appreciate Kevin Spacey
    Traffic weavers (that’s my new term, i’m keeping it)

    I could list more but this is tiring.

  21. What is Tomato Sauce? Is that one of those new-fangled Christian rock bands I haven’t heard about yet?

    For real, is your family from the part of Italy where they don’t eat sauce?

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