I Call It Dating. You Call It Stalking.

The evolution of a bachelor’s refrigerator

A little over 7 months ago, I did a post showing the pathetic contents of my refrigerator.  I thought it would be interesting to revisit my refrigerator now that I’ve lived in my new home for over 9 months, and see how it’s changed.

Here’s my fridge from April 2010.  I’m not going to identify everything as numbered – you can go to the original post for that:

Refrigerator on April 5, 2010

And here’s my refrigerator as of this week:

Refrigerator on November 15, 2010
  1. Tru Blood, ordered from HBO.  Carbonated blood orange beverage.  Goes well with vodka.
  2. Mountain Dew and Coke Zero.  Both go well with vodka.  No, really.
  3. Orange juice.  Goes well, with, umm, vodka.
  4. Soy milk.  Because I like how it tastes better.
  5. Juice boxes left here from a cookout I had in May.
  6. Bud Light.  Most definitely not for me.
  7. The largest tub of mayonnaise a man can legally buy without a three-day waiting period.
  8. Two-liter of Diet Coke. Probably flat.
  9. Hummus.  Food of the gods.
  10. Two-liter of Mountain Dew.  Probably flat.
  11. Giant Hershey’s Bar.  Usually doesn’t last 24 hours.
  12. Leftovers from June.  May contain living organisms by now.
  13. The same baking soda, tonic water, and blue Gatorade from April!
  14. Giant-ass thing of garlic. For all that cooking I don’t do.
  15. More beer.  Shudder.
  16. Bottled water.  I have enough cases of it in the garage to kill a thousand aliens from “Signs”.
  17. Daiquiri mix. Goes well with rum.
  18. Ketchup.  To be mixed with mayonnaise to make fancy sauce.
  19. Hershey’s syrup.  Goes well with burritos.
  20. Another giant-ass thing of garlic.  For keeping Edward Cullen away?
  21. More fucking beers.
  22. More ketchup, also opened.  In case I feel like exercising and reaching lower when opening the refrigerator.
  23. Relish. Which I don’t eat.
  24. A giant box of individual cheese slices.  Because you can never have enough cheese?

Hmm.  Well, it seems like it’s a minor improvement, at least.  What’s in your fridge?

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44 Replies to “The evolution of a bachelor’s refrigerator”

  1. Maddie Marie

    in my fridge now there is:

    turkey burger patties
    vegan burger patties
    vegan chicken patties
    lychee fruits
    peaches
    manadarin oranges
    strawberries
    yogurt
    silk soy milk
    and iced tea

    can you tell i’m on a new health kick thing?

    in corey’s section of the fridge there are frozen burritos, pizza, and pepsi (seriously, that’s it)

    POLAR OPPOSITES.

  2. sonia

    hahaha………..that made me laugh…ewww….mate,u seriously need 2 get sum fruit n veg goin on in there,u got lots of condiments and pops but wheres the food,i think ur a takeaway addict really 😉 nxt photo i wanna see sum colour in yer fridge.xx

  3. B.E. Earl

    I think I’ve found a new purpose in life. Introducing you to really, really great beer. Because Bud Light…not so much. Maybe that’s why you don’t like beer.

    I’m going to need a full DNA panel to proceed. Figure out a way to get it to me. STAT!

  4. Blondefabulous

    The largest amount of mayo one can own is the 5 gallon, industrial size, restaurant bucket you can get from food service vendors, GFS Market Place, or Sam’s Club. Trust me, I catered…. I know!

    Glad your fridge is rounding out. Now just get some veggies in there, and Ketchup & relish don’t count!

  5. Valerie

    Concur on the comments about lack of food. You need to clean your refrigerator out! If you aren’t going to use the juice boxes and bud light, stick them in the pantry. If you aren’t going to touch food or a bottle of something, toss it. Make room for healthy food. This refrigerator screams unhealthy.

  6. Valerie

    Concur on the comments about lack of food. You need to clean your refrigerator out! If you aren’t going to use the juice boxes and bud light, stick them in the pantry. If you aren’t going to touch food or a bottle of something, toss it. Make room for healthy food. This refrigerator screams unhealthy.

  7. Grant

    I notice that your fridge is much less wiener-intensive. Has being divorced made you less gay?

    And try some decent beer instead. Bud light? There’s no beer in your beer. I recommend something German like Warsteiner or Lowenbrau, or that blueberry beer from Sweetwater Creek.

  8. Karl

    Wow, and I remember the days (not so long ago) when Avitable didn’t drink. What a lush he’s become. Heh.

    PS: If you’re gonna keep beer on hand, at least make sure it’s not that domestic swill. I’m with B.E. Earl – you need a beer education.

  9. Loukia

    Mmm chocolate.

    And ketchup/mayo mixed together is the best thing EVER.

    And Hummus. You need some pita bread.

    Well, you need a lot more than pita bread, but it’s a good start.

    What’s in your freezer? Pogo sticks?

  10. Issa

    “Ketchup. To be mixed with mayonnaise to make fancy sauce.” Hehehehe. Too funny.

    Um mine is all boring. Sandwich meat, cheese, milk, soy milk, a zillion juice boxes, individual packages of apples and carrots. Kids yogurts. A 24 pack of AA batteries. More condiments than one could ever use. I’m the queen of buying chicken marinades, using them once and then never using them again. But I buy more. Sometimes the same ones. Um…leftover chicken fajitas from the other night. Veggies that probably won’t get eaten. A squishy cucumber. Martinelli’s Apple Juice. Bacon. Eggs. Butter. Biscuits in a container. One moldy tortilla. End of a package of bread. 3 little Coke bottles. One package of ground beef that I was going to use on Wednesday and didn’t. Will throw it out eventually. Oh and a container of homemade cookie dough. Your basic mom fridge. No booze. Aren’t you glad I answered today? Snort.

  11. thepsychobabble

    Lettuce
    3 kinds of cheese (all Wisconsin produced, naturally)
    ketchup
    2 kinds of mustard
    horseradish
    bagels
    relish
    mayo
    water
    this week’s left overs (venision, polish sausage & saur kraut and meatloaf)
    milk
    salsa
    a giant bottle of Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce
    a small bottle of Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce
    and 7 kinds of hot sauce (all used nearly equally, and all for a different purpose. Of course.)

  12. Lisa

    My fridge is full of fruits and vegeteblahs, organic this and cage-free that.

    I agree, you need to try some micro-brews. I hated most beer too until I tried some of the micro-brews around here. Go to a Whole Foods if you have one. You can buy single bottles of many different kinds to try. Start with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale if they have it. Also, I don’t really consider it a beer though it says it is, I’d bet you would like the Lambic beers – they come in fruity flavors and taste like soda. Also available at Whole Foods and World Market.

  13. Lisa

    My fridge is full of fruits and vegeteblahs, organic this and cage-free that.

    I agree, you need to try some micro-brews. I hated most beer too until I tried some of the micro-brews around here. Go to a Whole Foods if you have one. You can buy single bottles of many different kinds to try. Start with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale if they have it. Also, I don’t really consider it a beer though it says it is, I’d bet you would like the Lambic beers – they come in fruity flavors and taste like soda. Also available at Whole Foods and World Market.

  14. Zak

    You are doing really well, but you need BACON.

    When I was growing up in Oklahoma on a farm, my dad always kept the rings he used to castrate baby calves in the fridge. I think of it every. single. time I open the fridge and reach for butter in the door. TRAUMA.

  15. Beth

    You never CAN have enough cheese! Or eggs, really. We go through a dozen eggs every two days at my house because my kids just realized that eggs are the most amazing food in the world.

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