I love that your videos start out-“Hey fuckers….”
You do realize that I now have to go and get like 5 of these at Target tomorrow. Which is gonna totally blow my diet. So thanks for single handedly RUINING my diet.
@Julie, did you get some? I went back to my Target to buy some more and they were out!
Um. Red Velvet cake is just vanilla/cocoa flavored buttermilk cake with red coloring added. No, really.
So what the fucking hell is “red velvet base,” really? Is that their awesome way of not having to list the buttload of Red Dye 40 in that shit?
Your insides are crying right now, Adam. Jesus.
@Lotus / Sarcastic Mom, But his outsides are singing with joy. And that’s the important thing.
You’re right. It’s what’s on the outside that really counts.
@Lotus / Sarcastic Mom,
Bwahahaha!! Definitely. And the buttload of red dye has probably turned into a toiletload of red dye by now. Don’t worry, Adam! You’re not dying. It’ll be okay.
@Lotus / Sarcastic Mom, I don’t know – maybe it’s the cocoa/buttermilk combo. The red food coloring is no big deal, though – I wasn’t pooping red or anything!
NOOOOOO WAAAAAYYYYYY! I’d do just about anything for red velvet cake.
@Kimberly, anything, eh?
GAWD. Now I have to try it.
@OHmommy, it’s delish.
Potential customer LOST!
(Sorry, had to. 🙂
I’m not sure that looks appealing to me. I’ll have to try it the next time I visit Sparky in NJ.
@Poppy, it’s just like chocolate milk with some great flavor. 🙂
ya… let me know how that works out for ya in 4-5 hours. Actually don’t. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Twice.
@The Last Girl Standing, it’s fine. It’s just chocolate milk with slightly different flavor! Plus awesome red color. 🙂
See now you’re getting in the spirit. Holiday milk! Is that krusty the clown? Hey hey its your old pal krusty!
@J, that is indeed Krusty behind me.
But does it taste good with whiskey?
@B.E. Earl, ewwwwww.
With a complete lack of taste, I put forth the following suggestion:
Mix it with some Bailey’s or other creamy liquor, heat it to just about boiling and pour it in some (new) Diva Cups, and call it “Mrs. Clause’s Aunt Flow”.
@Zoeyjane, you’re a fucking genius.
I think this would be an excellent substitute in White Russians. I don’t know exactly how well it would go, but it could be called the “Red Scare.”
@Thursday’s Child, that is an excellent suggestion.
Go back and see if they have boiled custard. It should be roughly in the same section, the specialty dairy area (next to the nog). The flavor is different but the description is similar – sweet and thick and any more than half a glass will be an over-indulgence.
@Grant, I’ll go back and give that a try.
Hmmmmmm….. That seems good enough to derail every good intention I haven’t going to weekly fitness bootcamp! EVIL I say!!!
@Blondefabulous, do it and let me know what you think!
Ugh… that looked gross. HOWEVER. I may by some and pretend I’m a vampire having a wonderful holiday concoction of TruBlood Eggnot. Not a typo… “Eggnot… because it’s not…” I’m going to be rich. Oh, wait, too late, I already am. 😀
@Faiqa, were you drunk when you wrote this? Heh.
@Sybil Law, it’s good!
vodka. mix and get back to me…
@DesignHER Momma, it’s like a white russian on her period.
I am LESS offended by you calling your readers “Fuckers” than when bloggers call their readers “Internet.”
Also I so didn’t need another product that makes dairy MORE appealing to me. Mmmmmmm.
@Superjules, I say “fuckers” with total affection.
All I can think about (since I’m studying to become a nurse) is breast infection during lactation. Shudder….
Oooh red velvet cake. Almost makes me wish we had Target in Canada. Almost.
@Neeroc, that’s one reason I can never live in Canada. No Target!
I’ve never understood the glam of red velvet cake. It’s really just devil’s food with a shit ton of red dye in it…which I can’t stand ANYthing with that medicinal flavor.
Just…don’t be afraid when you see the red dye in the toilet tomorrow morning…:P
@Toni, it’s not medicinal at all if done properly!
Although I dig red velvet cake I’m grossed out by the thought of red velvet milk. But your manicure looks awesome.
So there’s that.
@Stacey, why thank you!
Red Velvet cake pisses me off because I can never get one to turn out. It’s like I have a Red Velvet Cake mental block. Which makes me totally afraid of this milk.
@Lisa, that’s why I buy them from the bakery instead!
@Avitable, I wish I could do that but it doesn’t work out very well when I’m making a cake for someone else. I just tell people they can’t have red velvet anymore.
I have always found colored and favored milk kind of gross. But then, I find all milk kind of gross. Except chocolate soy milk or chocolate almond milk.
And now you will probably find me and beat me with a carton of Red Velvet milk. Hopefully an empty one.
@Elisa, I can forgive you. This time . . .
You can also get “Prairie Farms Old Recipe Red Velvet Milk” at Wal-Mart for $2 per quart.
I wonder what the “old recipe” is.