Captain Rantypants Featured Image

Things I hate less than Progress Energy

Progress Energy is the utilities company for Florida and the Carolinas, and the worst one I’ve ever had the displeasure of relying on to provide my electricity.  Their standards are so poor that even on mild days, transformers blow and entire neighborhoods lose power. Somehow in a state that is hurricane-prone, Progress Energy can’t get their fucking act together enough to make sure that their grid can resist a mild wind.  I hate you, Progress Energy.  I hate you so much that these are a few of the things that I hate less than you:

  • Pedobooks
  • Glenn Beck
  • Speed limits
  • Food with bones
  • Reality TV
  • The Lord of the Rings movies
  • Chick fil-A being closed on Sundays
  • Watching sports
  • Anal prison rape
  • Westboro Baptist Church
  • People who don’t know the difference between “your” & “you’re”, “their”, “they’re” & “there”, or “its” & “it’s”.
  • Tyler Perry movies
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Bad breath
  • Terrorists

Fuck you, Progress Energy.

Share the love:
Follow by Email

40 Replies to “Things I hate less than Progress Energy”

  1. B.E. Earl

    Yes, yes…a thousand times yes to hating any food with bones! I totally agree. Well, except for a nice porterhouse steak. And even then the first thing I do is cut the meat away from the bone.

    Then you had to go and mess up the list by ragging on the LotR flicks. I think you should sit down and watch them all again. The EXTENDED versions. Because their (hehehe) great!

  2. Tiffany

    I agree. Chick-fil-a should be open 24-7! And Westboro Baptist Church pisses me off. I find the misuse of words extremely annoying. Is it that freaking hard to use the correct there, for, to, etc?

  3. Grant

    If you’re really lucky they’ll be bought out by Charter cable and then when your electricity goes out they’ll say it’s a problem in your house (and in all the other houses around you) and that it’s not their responsibility to fix it.

  4. Faiqa

    Hmm. I’ve had Progress Energy for 12 years. Our power has gone out twice for a total of 12 hours in that time. Maybe you should move to a nicer part of town.
    Brighthouse cable and Verizon & At&T cellular, though? Are the devil.

  5. SisterMerryHellish

    Swear to GOD I almost posted the exact same thinga bout the US Postal Service today! I would rather be getting nailed by Carrot Top while watching Sarah Palin and eating macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up in it that deal with those people!

    I’d offer you a swig off my flask, but I sucked that bastard inside out about 30 minutes ago!

  6. Neeroc

    I’m confused. What’s wrong with the LotR movies? Is it just the movies or is it (would it be) the books too?
    And I think I found two more reasons you’ll never move to Canada
    Chick fil-A not existing up here
    Watching sports – really? All sports? Like curling and cricket too? Live or on TV – make a difference?
    As for the energy company, our lines are underground and we still get our power knocked out on a regular basis, and the fuckwads now charge us both for the energy lost in transmission as well as some debt retirement charge because they couldn’t manage properly with their heads up their asses.

    • Avitable

      @Neeroc, I can’t stand the books or the movies. I’m not a fan of fantasy to begin with, and in my opinion, they’re the worst examples of it.

      And I just don’t understand the point of watching people chase each other around on a field after a ball or puck or anything. I don’t watch sports live or on TV.

Leave a Reply