Unless you’re a hip, single guy like me, you may not be aware that “getting slizzered” is the same as getting extremely drunk to the point that you’re still drunk when you wake up in the morning. And if you aren’t a happenin’ type of groovy dude like me, you wouldn’t know that if you’re “crunk”, you’re high on marijuana (or chronic) and drunk at the same time.
I’m sick of trying to keep up with all of the new slang that keeps cropping up, so I decided to just create my own:
bamfloozled – The state that a man finds himself in after buying drinks for a hot blonde who clearly has no interest in talking to him.
frarting – The act of passing gas on someone’s head, when perpetrated by an obnoxious fraternity brother.
grisming – Grinding on a dance floor until the man ejaculates in his pants.
scrunched – Drunk and on a sugar high from eating too many Nestle Crunch bars.
masturstation – A pre-determined location in a bar or club where men can jerk off discreetly while watching all of the hot women dance.
flabbering – A new dance where women strip down to their bras and men remove their shirts, smear their torsos with Crisco or some type of vegetable oil, and then run into each other in beat to the music.
ghoner – A ghost boner – when a man sits down and his pants form a tent inadvertently. Can also occur with a pen or roll of quarters in one’s pocket.
specrunking – Exploring underground craves while high and drunk.
assentuating – Wearing clothes that highlight your badonkadonk.
schadenfeud – A fight with someone who is clearly laughing at your misfortune
gayting – The act of convincing drunk women to make out with each other.
yahorny – In the mood to have cyber sex via Instant Messenger.
Who wants to add these to the Urban Dictionary and see how long before one of them shows up in a Ke$ha or Willow Smith song?