Categorically Uncategorized

Getting slizzered

Unless you’re a hip, single guy like me, you may not be aware that “getting slizzered” is the same as getting extremely drunk to the point that you’re still drunk when you wake up in the morning. Β And if you aren’t a happenin’ type of groovy dude like me, you wouldn’t know that if you’re “crunk”, you’re high on marijuana (or chronic) and drunk at the same time.

I’m sick of trying to keep up with all of the new slang that keeps cropping up, so I decided to just create my own:

bamfloozled – The state that a man finds himself in after buying drinks for a hot blonde who clearly has no interest in talking to him.

frarting – The act of passing gas on someone’s head, when perpetrated by an obnoxious fraternity brother.

grisming – Grinding on a dance floor until the man ejaculates in his pants.

scrunched – Drunk and on a sugar high from eating too many Nestle Crunch bars.

masturstation – A pre-determined location in a bar or club where men can jerk off discreetly while watching all of the hot women dance.

flabbering – A new dance where women strip down to their bras and men remove their shirts, smear their torsos with Crisco or some type of vegetable oil, and then run into each other in beat to the music.

ghoner – A ghost boner – when a man sits down and his pants form a tent inadvertently. Can also occur with a pen or roll of quarters in one’s pocket.

specrunking – Exploring underground craves while high and drunk.

assentuating – Wearing clothes that highlight your badonkadonk.

schadenfeud – A fight with someone who is clearly laughing at your misfortune

gayting – The act of convincing drunk women to make out with each other.

yahorny – In the mood to have cyber sex via Instant Messenger.

Who wants to add these to the Urban Dictionary and see how long before one of them shows up in a Ke$ha or Willow Smith song?

44 thoughts on “Getting slizzered”

  1. Chronic is a type of weed, very good weed, excellent high. That’s why Dre named his album the chronic in 2000. Now, the best weed around is called kush. It’s lIke… Wow. And? My authority on weed will always be Dre. And guess what his new song talks about? Kush! If you can get your hands on some kush, well, you’ll be a very happy boy. And um… This is from I’ve heard. I’m no expert! πŸ˜‰

  2. Wait. I think Chronic was the name of the type of weed, not just weed in general, since there is like hundreds of different kinds. Must confirm…when discussing weed things are always a little foggy.

      1. @Avitable, now that you mention it, we do have the perfect bodies for flabbering. With a little practice, I think we could turn pro. I’m gonna want you to wax, though, before we go on camera.

  3. I adore Far East Movement. To you, what does it mean exactly to be fly like a G6? DON’T USE URBANDICTIONARY.COM OR ANY OTHER ONLINE SOURCE. USE YOUR BRAIN.

    Yes, I’m a teacher at heart.

Leave a Reply