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I’ve never . . .

This isn’t a bucket list or a life list or my goals or anything. Β It’s just a list of things I’ve never done.

I’ve never . . . .

Gotten into a fight

Been arrested

Done any hard drugs

Jumped out of a plane

Ridden on a motorcycle

Traveled outside North America

Written a book

Played a musical instrument

Had a threesome

Gotten a tattoo or piercing

Been robbed

Wrecked a car

Been completely selfless

Craved obscurity

Flown a kite

Been deep-sea fishing

Seen a ghost

Made a snowman

Gone ice skating

Played “I Never”

Blacked out

Killed anyone

Eaten crab legs

Punched a ninja

Watched an entire football game

Gone to a strip club

Followed the rules simply because they’re the rules

Taken no for an answer

Understood the appeal of eternity

121 thoughts on “I’ve never . . .”

  1. Aside from traveling outside of North America, played a musical instrument, ice skating, eating crab legs, played I never, blacking out, wrecked a car, taking no for an answer and getting a piercing, we’re really similar.

  2. Shouldn’t it be “ridden on a motorcycle”? I think
    so! And number 1 on your list should be getting yourself to Europe! Then you can check off more items from this list! And. You must make a snowman! You even have a hat for it! And you have to go skating, too. Ottawa has the world’s longest skating rink, you know!
    If you need any help wrecking a car… I have sine experience there, too!

      1. @Avitable, You’re never too old to make a snowman (and, when you’re not a kid, you can enjoy mulled wine afterwards to warm you up) and yes, you have to come to Europe – it’s a great place (plenty of snow, too, though not a flake where I am)!

  3. I have… Gotten into a fight… Been arrested (well, detained)… Jumped out of a plane… Ridden on a motorcycle… Traveled outside North America… Written a book (well, contributed to a book)… Played a musical instrument… Had a threesome… Gotten a piercing… Been robbed… Wrecked a car (not my fault)… Been completely selfless… Craved obscurity… Flown a kite… Been deep-sea fishing (well, I didn’t fish, but I was on a deep-sea fishing boat)… Made a snowman… Gone ice skating (more like “ice falling”)… Played β€œI Never”… Blacked out… Punched a ninja (in a video game!)… Watched an entire football game… Gone to a strip club… Followed the rules simply because they’re the rules… Taken no for an answer… Understood the appeal of eternity.

    Looks like I need to do hard drugs, see a ghost, kill somebody, and eat some crab legs and I’m done with life!

  4. I have…

    Ridden on a motorcycle, played a musical instrument (badly), gotten a tattoo or piercing, been robbed, wrecked a car, craved obscurity, flown a kite, been deep-sea fishing, made a snowman, gone ice-scating, played “I Never”, blacked out, eaten crab legs, watched an entire football game, followed the rules simply because they were the rules, taken no for an answer and understood the appeal of eternity.

    Wait…on the hard drug thing…you don’t consider weed to be a hard drug, do you?

  5. Like Dave, I’ve done almost all of these. And a bunch of us played this game just last week ago when too many lawyers went out for dinner and got intoxicated.
    I have no desire to do hard drugs, jump from a plane, hit a ninja, or get tatted/pierced.
    Come to think of it, I didn’t really want to get in a fight or get arrested (x4), either, but shit happens.

      1. @Avitable, Sadly, it surprises me. I’m not sure I knew about all four times. And there are a couple others here I have questions about. Perhaps I will find the answers under the tree this year…

  6. I’ve done all but seven. It now occurs to me that you haven’t had a very rich or fulfilling life. I can help you with several of those right now. Come here, baby. I will totally drug / fuck / kick your ass right now, and then we can get arrested together. You’re welcome.

    (note – we’re fat enough that the two of us count as a threesome)

  7. That’s it. I’m coming up there and taking you to a strip club. You have to do it once just to see what you’re really not missing (although I promise it will be amusing to watch me tip the ladies…).

          1. @Avitable, Absolutely not. Elizabeth Berkley is WAY hotter than most strippers. It’s just not realistic. You need the experience of seeing a really hot body and then getting a close look at the face and wow. πŸ˜‰

            On second thought, just watch “Showgirls” again.

  8. Well, since I am guilty of co-opting you in the past, I *was* going to just comment that I’ve done __ out of 30 of those things, but since others are doing lists, I’m going to be a follower! So, here goes: I *have*: gotten into a fight, not been arrested but taken into the station, does cocaine count as a hard drug?, jumped out of a plane 18 times, ridden on a motorcycle hundreds of times, traveled outside North America
    (8 countries so far), played a musical instrument (the recorder in high school counts!), had many a threesome (*yawn*), gotten both tattoos and piercings, wrecked a car (not my fault!), been completely selfless, craved obscurity, flown a kite, heard/felt the presence of a ghost, made a snowgirl, gone ice skating, never heard of “I Never”, blacked out, eaten crab legs, gone to a strip club, understood the appeal of eternity (only if I could be a vampire). πŸ˜€

      1. @Avitable, yep, I did three tandems in preparation for the AFF course (Accelerated Free Fall), then a bunch of solo training jumps. I had to quit because I have GAD and the “door fear” was going to give me a heart attack. Oh well, at least I made it through training! I recommend you do it at least once (tandem), it’s an amazing experience!

  9. I find is amusing that even though you took part in a filmed gang bang with over 50 other guys, you don’t consider that a threesome. Yes, I know, technically that’s more than three people, but in a way it counts. Fucking GROSS

  10. Out of those I have: Gotten into a fight, Traveled outside North America (just once though. So much I want to see.), Played a musical instrument, Gotten a tattoo or piercing, Wrecked a car, Flown a kite, Seen a ghost (swear it), Made a snowman, Gone ice skating, Eaten crab legs, Watched an entire football game, Followed the rules simply because they’re the rules, Taken no for an answer.

    I’ve never done any drug that wasn’t prescription. I’ve never been in a mosh pit. I’ve never been on a Gondola. Or a Hot air Balloon. Or a ski lift. I’ve never been on a real date as an adult.

  11. Out of this list I still haven’t done the following, thankfully:

    Been arrested
    Done any hard drugs
    Jumped out of a plane
    Been deep-sea fishing
    Killed anyone
    Punched a ninja
    Gone to a strip club

    I guess I still have time, though.

      1. @Avitable, I could definitely see myself being arrested for niceness, but no, it wasn’t that. Actually, I was pulled over for speeding back in 2000ish, turns out I had a warrant out for a $25 bounced check to Kroger from 3 years prior. They arrest you for those things.

        Fast forward to 2008 I was pulled over for one headlight being out, turns out I had a warrant out for a $15 bounced check back in the same year of my other check, you’d think they’d have noticed that in 2000, but no.

        Both times I was processed through the jail system. Full body searches may sound kinky, but they’re not!! I had to wear the orange jumpsuit and all. I was locked up 18 hours the first time and cried the entire time. The second time I was in for 36 hours.

        Moral of the story if you bounce a check make sure you take care of it or you may be arrested. It’s not an experience I’d recommend.

  12. I’m here to tell you that crab legs are nasty. You crack them and pick shit out of the legs for like 29 minutes for a tablespoon of crabmeat. LAME.

    Hard drugs are much better than crab legs.

  13. Wow, I’ve done 20 of those if you count tattoos/piercings as 2 since I’ve done both, and like Dave, count detained as arrested. I was scared enough for it to count as arrested in my book!

    I’ll let you figure out which one’s I haven’t done!

  14. There are 9 things on your list I’ve never done, but by the end of next year I hope to have it down to 5. Those final 5 hold no appeal for me, however πŸ™‚

    Strip clubs *are* highly over rated, but had I known you’d never been to one I would have gotten less drunkish (well… maybe) and made sure we went in Vegas! We’ll find a good one in San Diego, hop on my Harley and trail a kite behind us as we go πŸ™‚

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