By Amy Chua (original horrifying content can be found here)
Lot of people want know why Chinese parents do such good job raising children. Stupid white people wonder “Why my kid not math whiz or music prodigy?” It not difficult to answer. Stupid white people let their children do stupid white things. Here some things my kids never allowed to do:
- Sleep over at stupid white friend’s house
- Play with stupid white kids
- Perform in play written by dead white people
- Watch television, except for Fox News
- Get any grades less than A, especially not F or G. Do they have G? I don’t know because my kid NOT ALLOWED!
When I talk about Chinese parent, I don’t mean just Chinese. I pretty much mean anything but white. Or black, because they lazy. Chinese parents produce children who make parents proud. They always successful, except for girls who disappoint us for not being boys. Nice thing about being Chinese parent is that if kid not successful, it ancient Chinese secret to ignore that child and pretend she (it never he) is no longer part of family!
My friends who stupid white parents think that being strict means making children practice instruments for thirty minutes. Thirty minutes! That nothing. My children must practice for three hours minimum while I whip them with coathanger. Now that discipline.
What my stupid white friends not understand is that nothing is fun unless you expert at it. You cannot be expert at something unless you practice many, many hours and work so hard until hands bleed. Then, fun!
Sometimes children do not want to study or work hard because apparently they not like fun at all. Chinese parent call children “garbage” or “terrible human being” in order to motivate and shame. Motivate and shame mean same thing in Chinese. If I tell my fat bitch daughter “Hey fatty, lose weight” it because I am motivating her to do better and shaming her because she big fat embarrassment to family. Win win.
Here are three major differences I notice between Chinese parent and stupid white parent:
1. Stupid white parent care about self-esteem. So stupid! Self esteem for weak people – Chinese parent assume child has strength and beat down strength with insult and belittling.
2. Chinese parent know that child owe parent everything. In fact, Chinese daughter better be happy that she not killed in womb or after birth! Chinese child know that for rest of parent’s life, child must care for parent. And Chinese parent live long time!
3. Chinese parent know what best for child. Remember, child stupid! Child not aware that child needs feet to be bound painfully until fit in tiny shoe or have clitoris removed to avoid any sexual pleasure. Chinese parent always know best.
In conclusion, only way that stupid white children ever going to succeed in life is not by being child or playing or having fun. Only by working and being berated and insulted and forced to meet high expectations of parent can any stupid white child measure up to the worst Chinese child. And no matter what, my kid better than your kid.