I’m not sure what it is, but there’s something immensely appealing about Jersey Shore’s pint-sized star, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. I don’t know if it’s the unabashed way that she clumsily traipses through life in 6-inch high fuck-me pumps, the way that she can move from raucous party animal to tenacious little pitbull in a flash, or the fact that her attitude is 6’8″, dwarfing her adorable 4’9″ body.
She’s just the right combination of trashy vs. self-aware, and nothing seems to get her down. Sure, her color may be a bit on the orange side, but that’s superficial and I suspect it’s not her normal look when she’s home alone. I am going to guess that when she’s bump-it free, just chilling on her couch, she’s pretty damn cute. And when she’s out partying? I would totally hit that harder than Chris Brown and Rihanna.
Recently, Snooki has given interviews where she stated that she’s getting sick of her nickname. It was originally a name she received in middle school after being the first girl to kiss a boy, and now she’s starting to outgrow it. I can understand, too. What person could have a serious career with a name like Snooki?
I decided to offer up some new names that she could try out, because “Nicole” is just too boring. Here are my suggestions:
- Webster 2
- ET aka Extra Tan
- The Tituation
- Great Boobs of Fire
- The Nicole who’s NOT anorexic
- Pole Easy
- Jersey Whore
Now, please excuse me as I run to the store to pick up a copy of her book, “A Shore Thing” and read it in one sitting tonight.