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If US TV shows were relaunched in other cultures

Last week, I was watching “Being Human”, which is a US relaunch of a (reportedly superior) UK show. With the exception of “The Office”, I’ve preferred the UK originals of shows like “Life on Mars” and “Kitchen Nightmares”, and I’m sure that once I see the UK version of “Being Human”, I’ll feel the same way. It seems like every time that a brilliant television show crosses the pond, it gets watered down, dumbed down, and given Downs Syndrome.

This made me wonder what some of our popular shows would be like if they were completely rejiggered and relaunched in other cultures:

FRANCE: La Théorie Du Big Bang

Four well-dressed male bisexual college students spend most of their days smoking cigarettes and discussing philosophy while sharing the beautiful but stupid blonde American woman who lives across the hall. The breakout star, ‘Chelle, is known for his catchphrase, “Bozhe, Carja hrani (Боже, Царя храни) which is Russian for “God Save the Tsar”.

ENGLAND: Tosh.0

Stock footage of threshing machines is interspersed with shots of the Royal Family tripping or blowing their nose while the audience titters politely.

GREECE: Vouliagmeni Shore

This reality show follows six Athens men around as they spend the summer in one house on the beach. There’s Nicodemus “Snooki” Papadopolous, Petros “P-Woww” Gaffinafikas, Spyros Fancypantsis, Remo “Strong Guy” Snuffalupagus, Zorba “The Condition In Which You Find Yourself” Nachopantalones, and Aleksandar Adrogynicus, all men who love to lay out, go to the gym, give each other blowjobs, and tan, or as they say “LGBT!”

JAPAN: Opura Wuinnfrai Show

In this gameshow, contestants are chased around a couch by a sumo wrestler in blackface. If he catches them, they must go through the dreaded “VaJayJay” gauntlet, where they will be punished until they cry. If they can keep out of his grasp for 90 seconds, the contestant and a random audience member will win a free car.

RUSSIA: The Great Hoarding of Supplies

A camera crew is accompanied by a psychologist, recording the lives of hoarders and attempting to help them with their disease. Episodes have included the 70-year old woman who lived with her 90-year old father, and between the two of them had accumulated 36 plastic bags, 14 cans of beans, and six unused rolls of toilet paper!

MALAWI: The Malawi of Tara

This show centers around a woman who is raising two children alone in Malawi. She also suffers from a dissociative personality disorder, and at times of stress, her other personalities surface. In the season finale, one of her personalities surfaces in front of a magistrate and she is summarily executed for being a witch.

ICELAND: Seinfeld

Pretty much the same show as the US version, except every character is played by Bjork, except for Kramer who is played by a midget wearing a swan costume.

21 thoughts on “If US TV shows were relaunched in other cultures”

  1. I didn’t think much of Being Human.
    Despite the genre being one of my favourites, I just couldn’t really get into it. Mind you I did watch only 2 episodes, but that’s enough right? Or should I give it another chance?

    As for Life on Mars, hubs loved it. I watched 1 episode and was all “WTF is this crap”

    I much prefer American shows, like House, NCIS, TBBT, Gilmore Girls. Unless it’s classic British like, Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, Are You Being Served etc

    Life’s funny eh?

  2. I didn’t think much of Being Human.
    Despite the genre being one of my favourites, I just couldn’t really get into it. Mind you I did watch only 2 episodes, but that’s enough right? Or should I give it another chance?

    As for Life on Mars, hubs loved it. I watched 1 episode and was all “WTF is this crap”

    I much prefer American shows, like House, NCIS, TBBT, Gilmore Girls. Unless it’s classic British like, Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, Are You Being Served etc

    Life’s funny eh?

  3. YES! You’ve got the French version down to a T! All that sitting about looking meaningful and TALKING… Perfect! You’ve definitely got a hit on your hands I’d say… (That said, the French also, rather inexplicably, have a strange liking for variety shows – the kind of thing that was quite popular in Britain back when I was a kid – we’re talking decades ago here).
    As for US remakes, I’ve not seen many, but have seen The Office, UK and US versions, and find both as annoying as each other (can’t stand the main character, whether it’s RG or SC). The only two characters who made me laugh (again, UK or US) were the two salesmen who can’t stand each other (you know, one always puts the other’s belongings in jelly (jello?)…).

  4. I gave up on “Being Human” after about 10 minutes, as soon as they had the vampire walking around in the sunlight. Apparently, the UK version does the same thing, so I can skip that as well.

  5. You know what I have to say about British shows turned into US shows and if you don’t I just happened to write about it today.

    Also, I think I’d watch La Théorie Du Big Bang, just sayin.

  6. What no Pakistani remakes? You disappoint me.
    Lahi Tami: The American government sends billions of dollars slated to promote democracy in the Middle East and find Osama bin Laden and other terrorists who are probably already dead to a illegal martial law government. Wondering where all the money is going, the government hires the renowned Rightman group whose expertise is facial microexpressions and truth discovery. After three interviews, Joe “The Plumber” Rightman, head of the company, finds out the money is being used to build summer homes in the Azure Coast, pay for every Pakistani studying nuclear physics at MIT, and launching a full scale campaign to discredit the pop culture currency that Bollywood has gained in the US and Canada. Three days later, Mightman is beheaded on YouTube by a bunch of guys with fake beards who forgot to take off their Army uniforms…

    Maybe they should just make it a miniseries or something.

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