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Anonymous, you are my favorite person

There’s this silly little site called Formspring. The only function is to ask questions of other people or answer questions others ask of you. People can sign in or ask questions anonymously. It’s a fun little diversion.

Recently, though, someone who has remained anonymous has been asking the most random, bizarre questions, and I absolutely love it. Whoever this person is, he or she is extremely creative and a wee bit insane. And may be my new favorite person!

You can click the above link to ask me random questions yourself but first, revel in the creative insanity of the questions I’ve been asked (copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure, along with my answers):

Question:
Today, my friend said that a unicorn stole my sandwich. I was pissed because that’s the third time this week! What’s a good way to stop them?

My answer:
Unicorns are afraid of leprechauns, so hire one through your local rent-a-leprechaun agency.

Question:
Have you ever let your instincts take over? If so, what did you do? I did once. It didn’t end well. This is why I call August 20th, 2003, “The Night Warren Wanted To See What Marbles Tasted Like.”

My answer:
How strange. August 20th, 2004, is the day I call “The Night Adam Thought He Could Breakdance.”

Question:
My son keeps forgetting to compost. Do you think I should rescind his toilet paper privileges?

My answer:
Hippies are the devil.

Question:
Have you ever tried a potato bath? My friend talked me into it and I can’t get out of it so I’m wondering how it is.

My answer:
Once I took a bath with my Mr. Potato Head. He touched me in my no-no place.

Question:
Today my mother-in-law told me that she envies the way that I can just roll out of bed, throw anything on and not even care. Bitch, right?

My answer:
First of all, stop hanging out in bed with your mother-in-law. Secondly, give her my number.

Question:
Do you think the Death Eaters sometimes toilet paper a Muggle’s house?

My answer:
I’m pretty sure that Death Eaters are responsible for all TP incidents in the Western Hemisphere.

Question:
Would you rather be part balloon and have the ability to communicate with ice or be part Latin and have the ability to make ducks fall in love?

My answer:
I’d rather be part Swedish and have the ability to taste fear in elderly women with Alzheimer’s.

Question:
I’m too chicken to break up with my boyfriend to his face so I’m going to send him a box of spiders and hope that he gets the message. Think it’ll work?

My answer:
Only if you springload the spiders so that when he opens the box they fly onto his face.

Question:
My friend Seth is a couple of years younger than myself and my friends. We’re honestly cool with the difference in maturity level but now he’s walking around in only a diaper, a bonnet and a pacifier. And the diaper looks heavy. What should I do?

My answer:
Change it for him. Duh.

Oh, Anonymous, I want to know who you are because you’ve been entertaining the hell out of me for the past few days!

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34 Replies to “Anonymous, you are my favorite person”

  1. Blondefabulous

    I have an anonymous who comments on my blog from time to time. They act like they have known me, but won’t reveal themselves. I can’t even tell if it’s a man or a woman! (I’ve dated both at one time or another) So good luck getting yours to out themselves!

  2. trish

    I used to read your blog all the time. Then, I had to disappear for awhile. Very glad I’ve found you again. I’d like to add you to my list of favourite hangouts on my blog.

    Love n’ kisses,
    Your Stalker.

    I mean..
    Trish. 🙂

  3. Cissa Fireheart

    The very same Anonymous has been asking odd questions to me for a couple months now. I save them up and answer a bunch at a time. You answers are far superior, however. No surprise there, I’m juts not a funny person, heh. That reminds me, I should go check out the latest batch of questions…

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