As you may have read recently, there has been some controversy over Chick-fil-A’s decision to provide free food to an anti-gay marriage group. It is well-known that the restaurant is Christian-owned and run, especially based on their poor business decision to stay closed on Sundays. Apparently churchgoers don’t need somewhere to eat after worship, either.
These are not the only two indications of Chick-fil-A’s extremely conservative and fundamentalist Christian nature, either:
- The oil in which their delicious waffle fries are fried is actually consecrated oil, blessed by priests every day before the restaurant opens.
- Chick-fil-A refuses to use chickens that are free-range because everyone knows that’s code for “alternative lifestyle”.
- Little pieces of bacon are lightly sprinkled through every item of food, just to fuck with the Jews and Muslims.
- If you play any of their commercials backwards, you’ll hear the message “Gloria in Exelcis Deo”.
- The marketing department had to get special permission to allow cows to act like humans in the commercials because the management wanted to avoid encouraging anyone to think that it is okay to “lay with your cattle”.
- Each restaurant has to continuously bribe Health Department officials because management insists that the only codes and laws it will follow are the laws of God.
- Chick-fil-A is the official sponsor of the Catholic Church’s Exorcism program, providing free food to priests and victims infested by demons.
- The reason that their chicken tastes so good is because the founder sold his soul to the devil, so he’s been trying to make up for it ever since.
In other Avita-news, happy birthday to the ass-kickingest girl I know, Jessica, aka Black Belt Mama!