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The Love of a Mother

“Hi, Mom.  I made it to Lexington safely.”

“Okay, good.  Thank you for calling.”

“You know, I am 34 years old.  Calling my mom every time I go out of town is a little ridiculous.”

“Well, I think it’s nice. Besides, it’s not like you have anyone else who cares where you are right now.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“Your plane could have crashed and who would even notice?”

“Hey now-”

“That’s why I make you call me weekly, too.  If you choke on a piece of food and die in the middle of your living room because you have nobody who would be there to help, you would rot for months because nobody cares about you except your mother.”

“But-”

“It’s not like you have a nice woman in her early twenties who wants nothing more but to take care of you and give me grandchildren.  You don’t even have a dog anymore, although that’s probably good, because if you did die, the first thing the dog would do is probably eat your face.  You don’t have to go anywhere for a job, so it’s not like you have co-workers who care about you, and you live on the Internet.  Nobody there is real, either.  You are completely, utterly, totally alone, and the only person who cares if you live or die is who?”

“Hey!”

“Who is it?”

“Sigh.  My mom.”

“That’s right.  Your dear mother.”

“I am definitely putting you in a home when you get older.”

“That’s okay, I’ll love you anyway.”

41 thoughts on “The Love of a Mother”

  1. Tell your mom that I would notice once you stopped posting. I would be traumatized. I’d have to remove your link from my reader and cancel my birthday reminders for you. The horror.

  2. My parents are the same way, except I’m 33 with a fiancee and a son. We go on vacation and its “Call me when you get there” “Let me know where you are staying so I can reach you if something comes up'”…Um hello, I have a cell that is on 24/7. Call that.

    But I do know that eventually the tables will be turned, and I will be checking in with my mother to make sure she is ok. My mother now does that with my grandfather.

    So all in all, just turn it around on her, and say you are checking on her.

  3. LOL…she thinks like I do. Since I’m in FL by myself I tested my parents and seen how long it would take them to call and check on me…..5 WEEKS! I told my mom when she called it was a good thing I wasn’t dead.

    Her response…”I knew you were alive, I seen you on Facebook.”

    Me: “Great, so now you rely on Facebook”

    Mom: “Yep”

  4. Ha! I’ve had that exact conversation with my mother as well! In addition, when she comes and stays with me (in the home that I pay the mortgage on), she stays up pacing when I go out at night and asks me to call her if I’m going to be late.

  5. My mother is the exact same way – I have to call her to let her know we made it safely and all that. And God forbid an ambulance should go flying past our street within fifteen minutes of leaving the house…then she’s freaking out until we make it home safely. Yay for cell phones….now she’s blowing that up instead of pacing the floors until I reach my destination and call her from a payphone or friend’s house phone to tell her I made it there safely.

    Of course, on the flip side, her response when I sent her a text Saturday morning asking how the kids were doing? “I killed them.” I replied “Well, I can’t blame you there….hope the blood didn’t leave any stains.” Then she told me “Of course they’re alright, so leave us alone and stop texting me to ask how they are.” ::headdesk::

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