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My 2011 Oscar Predictions

Best Impersonation of a Billionaire:  Jesse Eisenberg

Best Score By The Guy Who Wrote That “Fuck You Like An Animal” Song:  The Social Network

Movie That Sounds the Most Like a Porno Since “Dick”:  Winter’s Bone

Best Use of Shit in 3-D:  Jackass 3D

Worst Use of Shit in 3-D:  Gnomeo and Juliet

Foreign Film With Subtitles Spaced Far Enough Apart that You Can Fast-forward and Read Them Instead of Watching the Movie:  No winner

Best Animated Short:  Any 5-minute clip of Toy Story 3.

Best Cunnilingus:  Black Swan

Worst Cunnilingus:  Blue Valentine

Best British Period Piece that Paints Royals as Noble and Romantic Instead of Inbred:  The King’s Speech

Best Use of Justin Timberlake:  The Social Network

Worst Use of Justin Timberlake:  Yogi Bear

Best Use of Uncomfortable Humor Relating to Death:  Death at a Funeral, the British version

Worst Use of Uncomfortable Humor Relating to Death:  Death at a Funeral, the black remake

Best Family:  Emma Stone’s in Easy A

Worst Family:  Leonardo DiCaprio’s in Inception

Best Picture:  The King’s Speech

Best Picture That Actually Deserves It:  The Social Network


5 thoughts on “My 2011 Oscar Predictions”

  1. Haven’t seen a single one of these. I didn’t go to the movies much last year. It’d be nice if they’d combine your award categories with the ones used for the Razzies, which I find a much more important award ceremony.

  2. i think best picture should be between social network and toy story 3. and id pick buzz and woody. did you see it? that movie put my emotions through the wringer.

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