Morality is subjective

The worst parents in the world

Wednesday night, during CYR (which you can download here and subscribe here), I talked about an open mic night last week where parents brought in a 10-year old and a 12-year old.  Even after our protestations that this was not kid friendly, they insisted that their children would be fine.  And if you’ve seen my stand-up, you know that it’s not anything a child should hear.  I had no problem declaring these parents to be bad parents from their behavior during this evening, including the absolute nonchalance with which they left their children to listen to us and went outside to smoke.

This got me thinking – we need a contest.  And unlike something like the Babble ranking system, which smacks of subjectivity, favoritism, and exclusion, it would be chosen by the community writ large.  The nominees wouldn’t have to campaign and alienate their readers, either.

Would you nominate someone as the world’s worst parent?  Whether it’s a blog post they wrote demonstrating exactly why parents should have to be licensed to have children, or someone you saw in person acting with their children’s worst interests at heart, you could detail exactly what makes this person the worst childrearer ever.

And then we’d vote on the worst one.  I’d make a trophy that says “Worst Parent 2011” and send it to them anywhere in the world.

Who’s with me?

30 thoughts on “The worst parents in the world”

  1. I’m a school psychologist. I’ve seen more crap parents than I care to recall. Experience has convinced me that breeding is waaaaaaay too easy. Some type of permit or licence really should be required.

  2. I saw someone at an amusement park with a little kid on a harness & leash. They used the leash to tie the kid to the exit gate of a roller coaster and then got in line, leaving the kid alone.

  3. Worst parent ever? When I was twelve, my mother decided she was going to teach me to drive. She turned the car on for me, adjusted the seat, put the car into gear, and then went inside the house. I’m only now starting to realize how bad of an idea this was. I drove around the block at least ten times and only hit three trash cans. Right now I’m wondering how no one noticed a twelve year old girl driving a stolen Lexus through inner-city Indianapolis.

  4. Oh I know exactly who I would nominate but they are a member of my immediate family and are also one of the worst PEOPLE I know. NO way would I ever risk them finding out that I actually spoke about how horrible a parent they are, out loud. haha

  5. Jon Gosslin. Kate Gosslin. The Octomom. And the lady who comes into my work stoned and leaves her three year old to play with the computers while she tries to pick up guys. Did I mention she puts her kid in kiddie sized fishnets in the spring and summer? Yeah, fail.

  6. Oh Lord! I may end up on that list!!

    But really, I’d have to nominate any of the parents I saw last night at the St. Paddy’s Day edition of the Down Town Get Down who didn’t keep their kids in the kid area. Yes it is awesome for you to drag them through the beer tents and expose them to drunks and scantily clad women showing their “goods” in an over crowded street fair on one of the most drunken days of the year! Oh, and Kudos for getting shitfaced as well. Hope you made the drive home safely with out killing your own family or anyone else!


  7. Hmm…I don’t know, man. I tend to think that most parents are either doing the best they can or the best they know how. Judging them by my own views, values and standards really isn’t all that different from the talking heads on Fox News and whatnot.

    And there’s also the whole let-him-throw-the-first-stone thing. There’s not a parent out there who hasn’t fucked up, so how can they possibly be an authority on Worst Parent of 2011?

  8. I’d nominate my cousin in a heartbeat. Three kids by three different dads. Been caught cooking meth in her bathroom while her 10 month old played right there. Um…lost custody of her oldest, but not for the meth. Druggie. Dealer. Thief. Master manipulator. Lives off the government, despite being completely capable of working. All around shitty parent.

    However, the kicker? She married and had a child with a registered sex offender.

    Yep. She wins in my book, hands down.

          1. @Mo, Oh hell no. Haven’t seen her since I testified against her, so that her ex got custody of her oldest. Three years ago maybe.

            I’m just suuuuppppeeerr tired.

  9. What about the guy in Germany who locked his daughter in his secret basement so he could rape her, make her have his children, only to rape some of those children… With the mother knowing what was going on. Similar case here in the states.

    Yeah, it’s kind of hard to have a contest called “Worst Parents in the World” and let people base it off of things like a blog post or silly acts they see in public. With so many completely reprehensible people out there doing wildly psychotic things to their children, it may be good to preface the title with something… Perhaps “Worst parents in the world that would not be arrested for what they were doing.”

    So yeah… That’s my rant. Sorry. I know it sounds like you’re wanting to go with parents that your readers can at least give a first hand account of something they witness, which is good, but even there you’re not going to get submissions of “the worst”. Maybe “Most Ridiculous Parent”? That could be fun to read. A real “worst” contest would be sad and depressing.

  10. I agree with Clown. I’m getting depressed reading just a few of the suggestions. Ridiculous parenting I might play, but then I think we’re all up for grabs. It’s kind of like going to the water park in a swimsuit feeling good because there’s ALWAYS someone worse looking in a swimsuit than you. And then realizing that they look in hte mirror and say the exact same thing.

    Where has common sense gone? I bet these same two parents blame the teacher for their kids’ language and/or playground behavior.

  11. I’ve seen so many terrible parents in my years of travel that I’m almost numb to it all. Surprisingly, the incident which haunts me most. isn’t even the worst thing I’ve seen (scroll down to the final bullet). The complete indifference this woman showed towards her kid… and the callous way she views the child as a hassle and an interruption to her lifestyle… was shocking. My heart breaks for a kid growing up with such a horrible parent.

  12. I would definitely be in on that. I actually just learned tonight that when my uncle was a teenager and my grandmother found out that he smoked, she took a belt to him and then made him consume (like actually eat) an entire box of cigarettes until he vomited. You just gotta love parenting styles of the old days.

  13. My cousin fell out of a tree house, broke his wrists, and no one bothered to take him to the doctor. They didn’t do anything about it until his teacher noticed he seemed to be in pain when he wrote. The doctors had to re-break the wrists (they’d healed wrong). This same parent let her 5 year old go to a sleep over with their two 12 year old neighbor girls. The next day, when she came home, her panties were bloody. She was spanked for being “dirty.”

    That is the worst parent ever.

  14. Worst mother has to be the american living up in Canada who faked cancer for 18 months who is now in jail and has robbed her daughter of any future with restitution orders of $350,000.

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