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What do I want from comedy?

Sunday night, I was at the Orlando Improv doing an open mic night. It’s been routine now for me to spend 3-4 nights a week out at any place that offers a chance to test material and practice.

Last night, before we started, the emcee, a great comic named Carmen Vallone, decided to ask the audience, which was all comics, what each of them wanted from comedy.

The answers were varied: a tv show, to write, a career. When he asked me, my knee-jerk answer was smart-ass: “To fuck Sarah Silverman.”. But then I followed it up and said that a career in comedy is what I wanted.

It struck me later how true that is. The passion I have for making people laugh astronomically eclipses how I feel about my “day job”, even though it’s a company I built from the ground up over the last seven years.

I never had a life plan before. It was always purely on whim, something I played by ear. But now I realize that I do.

I’m ready to sell my business. I’m ready to clear myself of as much debt as I can, and commit myself to comedy as a career. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s paychecks and livelihoods. I want to be responsible for making people laugh.

I know it will take time, but I can see it on the horizon.

And I do totally want to fuck Sarah Silverman, but that’s a corollary to the life plan.

19 thoughts on “What do I want from comedy?”

  1. I always admire people who take the road less taken, who take risks for what they love. I hope you can make this happen, I really do.

    Since you are going to make a go of this, more than just making it a hobby, I’ll give you a piece of advice (which is strictly MY opinion, so take it for what it’s worth — not much) based on the stand-up routine that you posted. Speak slower. I know that you have X minutes of time and want to get all your material into those X minutes, but I had just wished, when I was watching, that you’d spoken a bit slower.

    PS. I love Sarah Silverman, too. Not in THAT way, though.

  2. I realized I actually want to be on a national caliber roller derby team that has a chance at being in the Olympics once we get the sport accepted. It’s weird when what you really want just pops up when you least expect it. Oh, and I think the Sarah Silverman thing is totally doable.

  3. I’m really excited for you! I love it when people find their passion and follow it. I’m glad I got to talk to you about it because I really tell how much it means to you.

  4. Yeah, you gotta chase your dreams. That’s why I gave up a stable and lucrative career in order to produce and star in erotic geriatric snuff films (Kevorkian porn). I mean, the last thing you want is to be on your deathbed lamenting all the chances in life you didn’t take, all the dreams you didn’t pursue. But rest assured, should your deathbed find your disposition regretful, elated, or otherwise, I can have a full crew there to document events as Karl smothers you with a pillow while Guillermo masturbates on your chest and strokes his mustache.

    Sarah Silverman looks like the kind of lay that would file her nails and check her watch during intercourse.

  5. And I can say I stuck my tongue in your ear I mean knew you way back when.

    Seriously though, that’s got to feel really great. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.

  6. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months and I think it’s really admirable to have goals. Unfortunately, it’s sad when the goals are so unrealistic. You’re in comedy class, which would be a great start if it wasn’t painfully obvious that you’re not funny. You do seem very intelligent though, and I like that we have a lot of similar views.

    On a positive note, you may have a chance with Sarah Silverman. She banged that Jimmy guy for a few years even though he’s an old man. You’re like a child when compared to him.

  7. This sounds like our conversation at “Flip” in Atlanta a few weekends ago. Which makes me sad, because I thought I was special. Now, I see I’m just one of the thousands whom you trust with your life’s ambitions.

    Regardless, I hope it happens for you. I think.

  8. This post made me smile. Good job, fucker.

    When I’m no longer on criminal probation for accepting a job instead of living off the state of New York I want to come down to Orlando and see you perform in person.

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