A church in Florida (of course) has recently made the news with a new billboard that advertises, simply “Scumbags Welcome”.
The goal is to resonate with people who may not feel any connection with some of the stricter, more conservative churches in the area, and has attracted some new congregation members, along with a few complaints from stupid people who I will assume are old and cranky and like to complain about everything.
I’d like to suggest some additional billboards for the SNL Church if this advertising campaign proves to be successful:
- “We smite the shit out of ignorance.”
- “Jesus totally smoked weed.”
- “If this church is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’. No, seriously, we’re having an orgy.”
- “Playing the guitar and soft rock makes us cool!”
- “Don’t worry, we still think the gays are going to hell.”
- “Not endorsed by NBC or Lorne Michaels.”
- “Showering is optional.”
- “We love that one line from ‘Pulp Fiction’! But killing is bad, mmkay?”
- “We’re not even really a church, except for tax-exempt purposes! We have a game room!”
- “Our collection plate accepts Dave and Buster tokens.”
- “Our church leaders don’t molest boys. They only sleep with young hot women.”
- “We’re funnier than Kenan Thompson.”
- “One cup of Kool-Aid away from a cult!”
- “Every day is casual Friday here. Unless you’re a woman, then don’t dress like a whore.”
- “We’re okay with Harry Potter and Twilight.”
I’m not cynical at all, right?