Today is the 29th birthday of a very special friend of mine, Casey. She has become one of my closest friends against all odds. I’m rude, crude, and usually nude, and she’s funny, sweet, and feisty. I’m a lapsed Catholic, she’s a serious Mormon. I revel in violence and profanity, she won’t watch R-rated movies. Yet we’re friends who know each other’s secrets and who have seen the other’s ugly cry. It’s these embarrassing moments that bind us.
In the past, I did a fake interview with her. I wrote a letter to her soon-to-be-born baby. I even explained how Mormonism works to the uneducated masses. But I never really empathized with her until recently.
Once she got pregnant, we would talk constantly on Skype about how she was feeling, and the bloating and vomiting that would occur. I found myself really hating how bad things were going and trying to imagine what it would be like if I was experiencing the same issues.
And, strangely, I did. I began to have trouble keeping food down. I got constant heartburn. My emotions were a wreck, and I kept cleaning everything in the house as if I was getting ready for someone new.
As my conversations with Casey continued, my symptoms got worse and worse. I began to gain weight and my chest became more sensitive to the touch. I finally went to my family doctor, who was stymied.
He called in a consult from a battery of physicians and after going through nephrologists and internists and cardiologists, it was finally one young Ob/Gyn who figured it out. “He’s having a hysterical pregnancy.”
As soon as I was diagnosed, I noticed the symptoms lessening. It was right around then that Casey posted a photo of her so pregnant that she’s about to burst.
I had two immediate thoughts. The first was, “That is absolutely a beautiful pregnancy shot. It’s amazing how the body glows during pregnancy.”
The second thought was, “I should take my own pregnancy shot before my hysterical pregnancy goes away!”
Look at me – I’m glowing with my fake baby!
Happy birthday, Casey. This new baby will be an amazing birthday gift, but I totally hope you get an iPad or a new car as well. Love you.
Casey’s not the only one celebrating a birthday! Over the last year, I’ve gotten to know this hilarious blogger, and she is an absolute delight. She’s dark, twisted, sarcastic, and makes me laugh all the way down to the cockles of my cockles. Happy birthday, Brittany!!