I’ve seen someone online somewhere talk about what they called an anti-joke, which is basically a bit that sets up a premise like a joke but isn’t one in any way at all. I liked the idea and came up with a few. Unfortunately, I don’t think that they work for my type of stand-up, but I thought I’d share them here.
Two midgets walk into a bar, which happens to meet all ADA standards for people with disabilities.
Bill Clinton, the Pope, and Michael Jackson are all on a plane, which is highly implausible because Michael Jackson is dead.
A homophobic man is getting his very first prostate exam, after which is doctor pronounces him healthy.
In first grade, little Timmy is asked to use the word “assume” in a sentence. He does so properly and receives an “A”.
There once was a man from Nantucket who died in a tragic car accident.
A newlywed couple is having sex for the first time, and they are both virgins. The sex is awkward and over quickly but enjoyable nonetheless.
A very old man who has a very young new wife dies suddenly. In his will, he leaves a reasonable inheritance for his children and his new wife separately, to everyone’s relief.
A Democrat and a Republican are drinking next to each other in a bar and find out that they both have similar marital issues.
Feel free to add your own in the comments. I reserve the right to steal them for my own use if they’re funnier than mine.