Famed Slim Jim spokesman and professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage died yesterday at the age of 58. I snapped into an interview with him:
Me: Hi Mr. Savage, thanks for talking to me.
RS: Ohhhhh man. What happened?
Me: You don’t remember?
RS: No, big man, I don’t remember a thing. Who finally got me?
RS: Yeahhhhhhh. Was it Ric Flair? That blond bimbo has had it out for me since he slept with my first wife, the beautiful Miiissssss Elizabeth, rest in peeeeeace.
Me: Ummm, no.
RS: I can see now that it must have been that traitor, that sell-out, that balding fading star Hulk Hoooooogannnn.
Me: It was a tree.
RS: Ohhhh yeahhhh, the evil, the vernicious, the severus snape, the Treeee-wait, what? A tree?
Me: Yeah. Your heart exploded and you drove into a tree.
Me: Sorry, man.
RS: Maybe the Ultimate Warrior cut my braaaaakes?
RS: Perrrhapsss Jake “The Snake” substituted my heart medication for placceeeeebooooos?
RS: Guess I shouldn’t have eaten so many damn Slim Jims.
Me: Plus the steroids.
RS: What are you talking about? Every 58 year old man looks like this.
Me: Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh.
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