Avitable Interviews Dead Celebrities

My Interview with ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage

Famed Slim Jim spokesman and professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage died yesterday at the age of 58.  I snapped into an interview with him:

Me:  Hi Mr. Savage, thanks for talking to me.

RS:  Ohhhhh man.  What happened?

Me:  You don’t remember?

RS:  No, big man, I don’t remember a thing.  Who finally got me?

Me:  Who?

RS:  Yeahhhhhhh.  Was it Ric Flair?  That blond bimbo has had it out for me since he slept with my first wife, the beautiful Miiissssss Elizabeth, rest in peeeeeace.

Me:  Ummm, no.

RS:  I can see now that it must have been that traitor, that sell-out, that balding fading star Hulk Hoooooogannnn.

Me:  It was a tree.

RS:  Ohhhh yeahhhh, the evil, the vernicious, the severus snape, the Treeee-wait, what?  A tree?

Me:  Yeah.  Your heart exploded and you drove into a tree.

RS:  Duuuuuuude.

Me:  Sorry, man.

RS:  Maybe the Ultimate Warrior cut my braaaaakes?

Me: Nope.

RS: Perrrhapsss Jake “The Snake” substituted my heart medication for placceeeeebooooos?

Me:  No.

RS:  Guess I shouldn’t have eaten so many damn Slim Jims.

Me:  Plus the steroids.

RS:  What are you talking about?  Every 58 year old man looks like this.

Me: Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh.

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7 thoughts on “My Interview with ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage”

  1. Oh my god. That’s funny. I would laugh my ass off if he actually talked like that at home with his family. Still, I feel bad. That guy was a big part of my life in the 80s. I mean, he was a big part of my brother’s life. That’s right. My brother’s life. *cough*

  2. The fact that the event in question happened right up the road from where we live now is just freaky. There are quite a few wrestlers who live in the Tampa area, well… keep a house there anyway. I’m sure you’ll have a few more WWE interviews soon. Wrestlers don’t age well!

    RIP Randy.

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