Morality is subjective

Third World Responses to First World Problems

First World Problems

First World Problems
Third World Response
There’s a fly in my soup. What’s soup and why would you complain about having protein in it?
The weatherman said it wasn’t going to rain so I played golf and got wet. Hopefully you managed to catch much of the water and wring out your clothes into a bucket so that your family can drink from it for the next week.
Facebook and Google + are invading my privacy. Privacy? I poop outside and wear nothing but a rag thong.
Stupid cop gave me a ticket for speeding even though there was another car going faster! We try to race, but on foot, to see who will be fastest and who will get beaten by the police with their sticks.
My remote control is out of batteries and I need to record Curb Your Enthusiasm. I do not understand anything you just said.
I really need to lose this last 10 pounds but it won’t go away. I’m hoping to weigh 90 pounds by the time I’m 20.
All of the dogs at the shelter are too ugly to take home. Why do you care if your food is ugly?
My AC is coming out cool instead of cold. My AC is the wind.
I just saw a roach in the house after the exterminator came. One time I saw a group of giant fire ants carry away my baby sister.
The DVR cut off the end of True Blood! The local gang cut off my neighbor’s hand and there was plenty of blood.
I haven’t gotten laid in six months. I was taken at age 12 to lay with the local prostitute, just like every boy in my village.
My family is racist. My family hates white people too.
I have 140 emails to reply to! I receive one letter a year from Suzanne Somers.
My son suffers from ADHD. My whole family suffers from malnutrition, hepatitis, and AIDS.
My blog doesn’t get as many comments as it used to. Oh wow. You DO have it bad!

21 thoughts on “Third World Responses to First World Problems”

  1. First world problems are nothing to make fun of. Like today, I had to go to my THIRD choice hair salon for a blow dry because most salons are closed on Mondays. What the fuck, man?

  2. Your blog doesn’t get as many comments as it used to because you don’t post here very often these days. You post everywhere else 🙂

    Plus, you’re really not that funny – people only came here for the Avitaballs.


  3. Your commenters are hilarious. Some of them actually think you’re being serious. mga gago has the excuse of a cultural/language barrier. For him, I say: “Please understand, Mr. hairy balls is making fun of US, the 1st worlders, for thinking our problems mean ANYTHING compared to yours.” For everyone else, I say: “Fuck off. This is funny shit.” And for you, I say: Thank you. Good laughs tonight.

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