Every now and then, even if you’ve been blogging for as long as I have, it’s a good idea to go back to the basics. And there’s nothing more basic when it comes to blogging than a series of lists about yourself. Well, except for a photo of your kid doing something that you find adorable that a million kids before him have done before. Luckily, though, I don’t have any kids (that I know of), so we’ll go with lists!
Five things you don’t know about me:
- I get very embarrassed on behalf of other people around me.
- I will never let myself get hypnotized because if I’m going to do something mortifying and shameless, I’ll do it of my own volition, thankyouverymuch.
- Up until last Friday, I had never eaten chili. Part of the reason was that I don’t like anything spicy, so I was nervous to eat it over at Mocha Momma’s house, but it was pretty damn good!
- I can remember every moment of my life when I said or did something that was incorrect, and if I could go back and fix those errors, I would. I even remember a time when I was 4 or 5 at a friend’s birthday party and said to another friend, “I can’t wait until [the birthday boy] opens my present!” My friend said, with as much disdain as a 4-year old can, “It’s not your present. It’s his.”
- I’ve never been ice skating, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. I’m barely graceful on two feet that are planted firmly on the ground, much less wearing knives on my feet, plus I totally have this fear of falling and getting my fingers cut off.
Five things I am knowledgeable about:
- How people think. Whether it’s from growing up with an extremely manipulative mother and learning how to get my way with her, or just the way my brain works, I have, as my psychiatrist said, “an eerie insight into how people work”. I don’t use this power for evil very often, though.
- Grammar, spelling, and writing. I’m the most elitist about these topics. If you can’t properly communicate with me, I have a hard time having any respect for you.
- Comedy and humor. I’ve been fascinated with comedy since a young age. I listened to my parents’ Bill Cosby records hundreds of times and watched movies like Airplane and Space Balls until I memorized them. On road trips, instead of listening to music, I would listen to my Denis Leary, Robin Williams, and Steven Wright CDs on replay. I’ve studied Weird Al’s music and been a subscriber of MAD Magazine since I was 7.
- Movies and television. I’m very picky about the shows and movies I like, but when I enjoy them, I take the time to learn everything I can about them.
- A little about everything. I’m a sponge. I ask questions about how or why things work, and I research everything until I understand the mechanics of it. I know just enough to be dangerous.
Five things I know nothing about:
- Staying under the radar. I subscribe to the belief that any attention is good attention, and will do anything I can to get noticed and recognized. I have an inability to stay anonymous and don’t understand why people would want anonymity.
- Music. I know what I like, and I know that much of what I like is generally considered crap. It makes me tap my feet, laugh, cry, sing, and dance, so that’s all I care about.
- Struggling. I know that I’ve been lucky in my life. I’ve always worked hard and paid my own bills, but I’ve never been despondent or desperate. I respect people who come from that level of poverty and pull themselves out more than almost anyone else. I even tend to find myself extremely attracted to women who started off like that.
- History. It was my worst subject in school (I got a B) and I don’t learn lessons. When I was doing the panel during my law school reunion, a student asked me “How do you know what advice to take?” and I told her that I don’t really listen to anyone’s advice. I file it away as something to consider but I have to learn on my own. I’ve found that too many people do things because ‘that’s how it’s supposed to be’ and that’s bullshit. The same goes for history. I don’t care what happened before me, because it’s not going to affect how I live my life.
- Doing anything in moderation. I am a glutton in all sense of the word. Whether we’re talking about food, drink, sex, video games, television, even friendship – I don’t do it in moderation. I don’t know how.
Five things I believe:
- There’s no such thing as one true love, but there is such a thing as true love.
- Whether you call them ghosts, spirits, or poltergeists, there is paranormal and supernatural activity that occurs in our world.
- You don’t need organized religion to be a good person and a moral person, and if there is somewhere that people go after we die, you’ll go there without belonging to a specific church.
- I believe that nobody can do something as well as I can do it myself.
- Modesty and privacy are overrated.