I understand. You’re on Twitter and you have something so important to say, but you can’t get it into 140 characters. Or you’re texting a friend and don’t have enough time to write full words before you crash into the car ahead of you on the Interstate. Sometimes you have to abbreviate and use slang, but sometimes I just want to punch you in your face.
Here is my non-inclusive list of the nine worst offenders – the nine abbreviations or slang used today on Twitter, in texting, or on Facebook, that drive me absolutely crazy. In no particular order, along with examples for those of you who have not yet been subject to this nightmare of laziness, convenience, and blatant stupidity . . .
- yr/ur. “Can I punch you in yr face and murder ur parents?”
- u – “Why can’t u just add two additional letters?”
- y – “y r u trying 2 sound like a moron?”
- enuf – “Haven’t we had enuf bad slang with that Ebonics shit?”
- inbox – “I could ask you to inbox me on Facebook instead of asking you to email me but instead I’m going to make a voodoo doll out of you and shred its genitals in my garbage disposal.”
- bcoz/bcuz – “I’m stabbing you bcuz you’re better off that way. We all are.”
- sum – “Have you ever had sum person tell you that you should die in a fire?”
- Imma – “Imma pray for you to commit suicide via auto-erotic asphyxiation.”
- k/kk/kkk – “The meeting is at ten tonight. Bring your pointy white hood.” “KKK. I’ll be there.”
Okay, granted, this is a bit judgy on my part, especially since I’m a complete hypocrite and have used, on separate and distinct occasions when I was completely sober and in my right mind, both “Imma” and “k/kk”. I berate myself daily for it, but not as much as the fact that I have finally broken down and started using “lol”.
So, in summation, do as I say, not as I do.