Adam Avitable's cartoon Valentine

To all the women of the Internet

Adam Avitable's cartoon Valentine


Every single one of you is a beautiful person.  Your worth to the world has absolutely nothing to do with the gifts, flowers, and chocolates that you receive today, whether they arrive in overwhelming waves or not at all.

You mean something to someone.  Whether it’s your family, a loved one, your best friend, your faithful pet, or even the Starbucks employee down the street who looks forward to seeing you every day, your presence radiates and has a positive effect on those around you.

Today is Valentine’s Day.  It’s a day when some men shower their significant others with presents and love in an attempt to cover up their lack of affection the rest of the year, when some couples scorn a day that’s made for love rather than celebrating another day to cherish each other, and when many people don’t partake at all, willfully or otherwise.  This day does not define you.  You are not a box of chocolates.  You are not a night home alone with takeout and a movie to keep you company.  You are not roses and hearts.

Men have an inordinate amount of power in your lives, from the negative attention and objectification to worship and placing you on pedestals.  Valentine’s Day exists as a time when that power can make you feel desirable or unwanted, loved or lonely, happy or bitter – all in response to the actions of someone else.  You and you alone are responsible for your feelings – don’t let someone else have that power over you.  Enjoy today as a day when chocolate is plentiful, when love is palpable, and, most importantly, as a day that is no more important from one month to another.

Actually, that’s not true, because March 14th is Steak and a Blowjob Day, and there is no day more important than that. So, umm, forget everything I just said.

Happy Valentine’s Day!


69 thoughts on “To all the women of the Internet”

  1. Nicely written. Exactly – I’m the only one who has power over my feelings, and I choose to enjoy Valentine’s Day, even though my husband is working late and we’re not doing anything special to celebrate the day. But I still choose to enjoy it. Hey, a day that’s about love is a good thing.

  2. Where’s my penis? And by that I mean where is your penis?
    I thought heartfelt sentiments were always accented with chocolate and moderately dirty drawings.

    You worth is not measured in candy either. Go have a pedi and be kind to yourself.

  3. Aw! That was a nice sentiment! It will be the best Valentine I get besides the handmade one my son will bring home to me! Also, HHH and I try to have a “steak & BJ/cunnalingus day at LEAST once a week! Who ever told you it was only once a year LIED! Lol!

  4. Dang! A nice, gooey post. I was really expecting something crude, vulgar, pessimistic…you know…something like YOU would write! It was sweet. I KNEW you had it in you.
    Thanks for redeeming yourself with the steak and BJ link. I’m at work and didn’t expect the BJ videos to be the real thing. I had my speakers jacked way up so a few people around me got some tips, too.

  5. “Every single one of you is a beautiful person.”

    My first thought to this was an exception for all of the “uggos” that you claim your heart hates. But, if you’re getting lawyery and the word “person” is there to make that statement unnecessary, what about the ones that are just ugly people inside? We could name names.

    How about you edit that first line to “Almost every single one…”
    Happy Valentines! 🙂

      1. @Avitable, No I didn’t!

        The only question I asked was “What about the ones that are just ugly people inside?” and I had no answer for that. I said we could name names, but are they included in your love letter? Does this still go out to every single ladies? 1 day moratorium on being a bad person?

  6. I have read you for a few years now, and have commented only once or twice. But I wanted to say thank you. This made me cry. In a good way. Because the card I got from the boyfriend, with a dog on the cover was pretty crappy. so this made me feel better. And I think I will just go out and get myself a card that actually shows some love.

    Thank you for making my day better.


          1. @Avitable, Cool. A crap load of photos all at once for the F-R-I-E-N-D-S PHOTO A DAY CHALLENGE.

            You’re basically fucking Friends their empty eye socket and saying nothing is sacred anymore.

  7. Love, love, love this post. I definitely needed to hear this today. Of course, you then lost me with the March 14 information, because I may have a steak that day, but that’s it!!

    Of course, you never know, some lucky guy may get lucky that day. Though, it’s highly doubtful!!

    Hope you’re having a LOVELY day!

  8. Very nice.
    I’m single and alone and received absolutely nothing from anyone today.

    But that’s ok, because I bought some chocolate for myself, and…
    (*awkward pause*)

    Wait… why am I suddenly craving steak?
    This can’t be good.

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