39 responses

  1. Beta Dad
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    You are amazing, Mr. Avitable. I’m sobbing poignant tears of emotion.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Beta Dad, they better be extremely poignant tears!

      • Lauren
        Friday, April 13, 2012

        @Avitable, You changed one heart so you have changed the world now, and made gay marriage legal in all states plus now the President has to be gay. That’s how powerful you, as a blogger, are.

      • Beta Dad
        Friday, April 13, 2012

        @Avitable, They are so poignant, they bring dead puppies back to life.

  2. Karen
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    And THIS is the best thing I’ve read since I read the worst thing I’ve read, which just so happens to be some blog drivel written by Dan Pearce.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Karen, surprise, surprise! :)

  3. Ed
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Isn’t this about twelve days late?

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Ed, no. I wrote this after Didactic Pirate’s post showed what genuine writing is like, and he published that two days ago. Besides, who the fuck is counting?

      • Ed
        Friday, April 13, 2012

        @Avitable, gee-fucking-thanks. I had gone all day without getting weepy, then you send me over to Didactic Pirate for some real writing. (You didn’t think I wouldn’t look, did you?) Seriously, mad props to that guy. And his daughter.

  4. Lynda
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    I think I started to read “I’m Christian, Unless your Gay” at one point and sort of got bored in the middle of reading it, and went on my merry way. I’m not a fan of Lifetime movies either.

    Now the post about the dad who came out to his daughter was awesome, and I read that all the way through. No need to fake it when there are so many real stories out in the world.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Lynda, exactly!

  5. Maresi
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Well done, you.

    Hey, not to take away from the greatness that was that post, but I have to know – how did the chaps & nipple tassels go over with your students the other day?

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Maresi, splendidly, thanks for asking!

  6. The Domestic Goddess
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Best thing I’ve read all day.

    You rawk.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @The Domestic Goddess, thanks!

  7. BloggerFather
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    This post just saved my life. It also made me pregnant.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @BloggerFather, I tell people time and time again to use protection when reading my blog, because of its potent poignancy, but nobody ever listens.

  8. Shiny
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Clever. And diabolical, Mr. Avitable. Or should I call you — Mr. Pearce?

    You see, I know your little ruse. I’ve been following this from day one. Knowing that your persona as “Adam Avitable,” the witty, dry, sarcastic blogger wasn’t fulfilling your own needs for fulfillment as a family man, you carefully plotted, several years ago, to devise an alternate persona — a family man named “Dan Pearce.” You could be more wholesome and vent your more sensitive, family friendly side. In order to gain credibility, you inflated your stats and found a niche in the parenting community. You cleverly became a “sleeper cell” amongst the parenting blogs, knowing that you would have a great, honkin’ big readership once you decided to detonate a powerful message of some sort.

    And that you did — by creating this “I’m Christian Unless You’re Gay” controversy. First with a fabricated post, and then with a fabricated post about a fabricated email from a fabricated mom whose fabricated gay son came home with a fabricated assignment about the original fabricated post.” People clicked. And read. And drove up even more traffic to the site of your alt-identity.

    And like clockwork, some of the other parenting bloggers — like BetaDad — started getting suspicious — which was precisely part of your plan. This manufactured skepticism helped even more traffic to come towards “Dan Pearce’s” blog, where you would reap the benefits.

    And finally? This post. In which you created a fabricated email about your very own fabricated post, treating it as yet another fabricated post. Which, of course, heightens the drama and drives more traffic both here and to your Pearce blog.

    I can only assume that you’ve crafted this to escalate a war between both of your blogs, allowing many readers and authors to choose sides and make these two sites see unprecedented pageviews and clickthroughs. By the time you’ve finished with this diabolical plan, Facebook will want to acquire BOTH avitable.com and danoah.com for a large sum. And by a large sum, I mean a sum that’s cooler than a million dollars. Do you know what’s cool? A billion dollars.

    Well played, sir. Very well played.

    • Avitable
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Shiny, if I could “like” a comment, I would like this one, then fuck it, then marry it, and then raise its children.

    • Crystal
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Shiny, Oh. My. God. You totally took the words right out of my mouth! Or is it brain since we’ve never spoken? Either way you said in a far better way than I could have exactly what I was thinking. Does that make you the Pirate and me the Single Dad Laughing?

    • Beta Dad
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Shiny, You mean I’ve been a pawn in this convoluted scheme all along? DAMN YOU AVITABLE!!!!!!

    • Karen Sugarpants
      Saturday, April 14, 2012

      @Shiny, I had to read this comment three times and use a high-liter. YOU ARE SO SMRT.

  9. Dave2
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    My goal is to do one of three things every time I venture over to Avitable.com. A) Laugh my face off. B) Think till my brain hurts. C) Get a sucker-punch in the gut with some of whatever you’re dishing out. This entry was the entire ABC’s of Avitable, and I did ALL THREE!

    If only there was a photo of you softly weeping at your computer as you typed this entry… a box of Kleenex set askew on your desk… photos of all the hos you’ve saved hanging on the wall behind you… a baby kitten you rescued on your lap… if only. Then I could have cried. I could have related to you on a personal level and felt the suffering that you must endure to bring these stories to us. But without such a photo… even a photo staged a week later… I just couldn’t take that leap.

    Obviously, you have a thing or two to learn from Dan Pearce.

    • Shiny
      Friday, April 13, 2012

      @Dave2, I think that box of Kleenex on his desk has little to do with his weeping — unless by “weeping” you mean something else south of the border…

  10. the muskrat
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    *sobbing*

  11. Beta Dad
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    By the way, did you see that the Didactic Pirate post from DadCentric got picked up by Huffington Post? Front page of the Parents section! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-didactic-pirate/coming-out-to-daughter_b_1421073.html?ref=parents

  12. Didactic Pirate
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Dude, you rock so fucking hard. That is all.

  13. Adrienne
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    The one time I followed a link to his site I saw that one of the post tags was “power post.” Who the fuck does that?

  14. Al_Pal
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Gigglesnort. Well done, lad.

  15. Amy @ Taste Like Crazy
    Friday, April 13, 2012

    Dammit to hell! Adam, when are you going to get a “like” option with this here commenting schtuff? I can’t exactly “reply” to all the badass comments with, “What you said!” or “Exactly!” or “Lulz” since that would just be…odd. So, I’ll just say you kicked ass in such a way that I am sobbing emotive tears of life changing happy emotions over here. A lot. Or something. heh

    • Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting
      Saturday, April 14, 2012

      @Amy @ Taste Like Crazy, I second this.

  16. Katey Guillot
    Saturday, April 14, 2012

    I couldn’t love you harder if I tried right now.

    Still one of my most favourite people on the internet. Forever and ever.

  17. Sybil Law
    Saturday, April 14, 2012

    Man, I miss all the crazy shit. I’ve never even heard of this Single Laughing Dad/ Dan Pearce. Looks like I wasn’t missing much.
    Well done, Fucker.

  18. Whit
    Saturday, April 14, 2012

    The new, softer you is amazing.

  19. Rachael
    Sunday, April 15, 2012

    I feel like an asshole because I spent several minutes slightly confused here before I “got” this post. Ugh. I am losing my smarts. This is great though, and funny. I couldn’t even get through “I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay.” It’s just so freaking long and boring. Thank you for pointing me to Dadcentric though, what an awesome post and a brave story to share with the world. I love finding new guyblogs to read.

  20. tracey
    Sunday, April 15, 2012

    Huh. See, it just goes to show you how freaking naive I am that I FORGET that people make shit up on the internet. I do! I forget. And that a person would actually do this as a way to get hits is just… well. It’s like any other criminal: if you’re THAT INTELLIGENT to come up with made up shit, why don’t you write REAL STUFF?!? Do the real work?

    I must say that calling you “Mr. Avitable” made me giggle and pee my pants a tiny bit. Don’t feel TOO honored, though: I have had 3 kids.

  21. Stacey
    Tuesday, April 17, 2012

    I’m very tired today so while I thouroughly enjoyed this post all I got today in terms of a comment is that you’re one funny dude. But then you already know that.

  22. me
    Wednesday, November 28, 2012

    Cool people, people I respect, are posting DP’s 16 rules on their FB page. I knew I couldn’t be the only one cringing at his self-serving shmaltz. I searched, I found you, and I was healed.

  23. Foo
    Wednesday, November 28, 2012

    So it’d be like a faux pas to accuse someone of taking it to the next level and pretending to come out as gay…er, bi in order to get more hits/book deals/Ellen Show invitations right? Too bad…

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