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Who will be my 75,000th commenter?

Adam Avitable's 75, 000th commenter

Today, sometime, I’ll hit 75,000 comments on, as far as I know. I say as far as I know because it doesn’t take into account the 15,000 or so comments I had for the first three years on Blogger, but it’s a milestone nonetheless.

It might be the 1st comment left, it might be the 200th, or it might be somewhere in between. The only person who knows is me, and I’m not telling . . . yet.

What I am doing is celebrating blogging and commenting and the interaction and community that comes from this online world that I love. And there are prizes involved! Well, a prize. And not really a prize as much as just a personalized cartoon drawn by me for the person who happens to be the 75,000th commenter!

Yeah, I know. Woo hoo. Bear with me, anyway.

If, in a hypothetical situation, you were to have the roaring hunger, the insatiable urge, the passionate desire, the mental lady boner (or man boner) to buy a book by a man in his thirties who talks seriously, tinged with humor, about his real experiences with relationships and dating and his perspective on women after divorce, heartbreak, and redefining himself (like in this post here), which of the following four titles would appeal to you the most?

  1. Real Men Don’t Cry (Often)
  2. Obese Hairy Narcissist Seeking . . . Well, Anyone
  3. It Takes Balls to be a Woman: One Man’s Perspective on Love, Sex, and Dating
  4. Funny Trumps All – A True Story of Love and Heartbreak

These four titles were chosen after surveying a group of friends and selecting the top four vote-getting titles. Thank you to those of you who helped me, and please feel free to vote again, choosing only one title this time!

Pick one title and leave a comment telling me which one you like and why. Which one seems the most compelling, interesting, and intriguing to you personally? Don’t overanalyze it – just go with your gut. The person who is the 75,000th commenter will get a personalized sketch drawn by me, plus my everlasting love and adoration. What more could anybody want, really?

(Oh, and in case the 75,000th comment happens to be someone who doesn’t follow the rules, I’m going to skip that person and award it to the next person who does.)

It’s been an amazing eight years of blogging, and while comments may have slowed down, and interaction is spread over social networks instead of focused in one place, I still love the community I’ve found here and will continue to contribute to it until they pry my keyboard from my cold, dead, zombie hands . . . or until the robots take over.

Happy commenting, everyone!

36 thoughts on “Who will be my 75,000th commenter?”

  1. Of those four titles, the one that would make me at least pick up the book and flip through it? “Obese Hairy Narcissist Seeking . . . Well, Anyone”. Or what about “Desperately Seeking…Well, Anyone” ? I’m thinking a publisher might balk at putting the words obese and hairy on a book cover.

    Whether I win or not, 75,000 comments, congratulations!!!

  2. I love that you are doing something about interacting, which is essentially what I wrote about in my last post… decades ago it seems!

    To answer your question: “Obese Hairy Narcissist Seeking . . . Well, Anyone” is my favorite from the four up there.

    Have a great day!

  3. I’d probably pick #3, but only because most dating/love/advice books are from a women’s perspective, and someone taking the time to get the fuck away from that stereo type would probably be a good idea.

  4. Hmm…I guess I like #4 out of those choices, with #1 a close second. #2 reminds me of those heavy comedians whose only jokes are making fun of their own weight. #3…I dunno. It should work for a certain demographic, but I wouldn’t pick it up in a bookstore. #4 promises a funny (it’s in the title!) and probable bittersweet tale of relationships. That’s the one I’d pick up.

  5. I agree with B.E. Earl. As I read the list of titles I was thinking about my weekly stop in my local deli. For some reason, they have a book tree with self-help and religious books. And even though I don’t really seek out those types of books, I can’t help but pick up and at least read the forwards of the books with mysterious/funny titles. I think the middle two titles give too much away, letting me know right away this is not a book I’d need – I’m not on the dating market, and I’m not fat and hairy. However, I do like to hear about the awkward times in life that real men have to admit that tears ran down their cheek. It reminds me that even big tough guys have a soft chewy center. I also really enjoy reading books where the author finds humor or chooses humor in painful, serious, and/or difficult times in life – mostly because I’m an optimist, and I feel like I could be friends with a person who finds humor even in their own hurt. I know you wanted us to pick just one, so… #4

  6. Honestly? I think none of them are that great. I think you can come up with something much more interesting and witty. However, if pressed for and answer, I’d say Funny Trumps All – A True Story of Love and Heartbreak, except leave out the “A True Story” part. Let the title stand as is.

  7. Out of this group I only like #2. I don’t think any of the others made my list. I’m not sure about your target audience, but the other 3 titles would give me no reason to even pick up the book to read the back. (or description, or whatever) All of the other titles seem to be targeted towards women, while I feel #2 could be targeted towards all 3 sexes.

    If you don’t know the 3rd sex, you have a lot more to learn than you realize.

  8. I’m not following the rules; I’ve already voted. I just wanted to comment and celebrate with you, whether I win or not. I stop by here for the scrotum pictures, not for winning prizes. In fact, scrotum-pics are their own reward.

  9. I really like #3. It Takes Balls to be a Woman: One Man’s Perspective on Love, Sex, and Dating, because it really does take balls to be a woman! I also like the first one, but the third is my fave.

  10. I was going to go with number 1, but honestly, I would love to see you on a morning show, and watch the interviewer sputter through “and the author of ‘Obese Hairy Narcissist Seeking . . . Well, Anyone”.”

    But I’d read it no matter what the title…

    Congrats on building such a great, active community!

  11. I like the title “Obese Hairy Narcissist Seeking . . . Well, Anyone” best. It conveys just the right amount of self-deprecatory humor as is reflected in your writing, and communicates the single-married-divorced subject in an oblique way.

  12. Dude. Use that Improv experience. Mix in the stripper theme. Toss in a thong and a cape. The result, Avitable the Comedian Stripper! Specialize in bachelorette parties. Don’t limit yourself to Orlando. The Bull theme plays well in Chicago with the Chicago Bulls basketball team. “uh-VIT-uh-bull”. Market yourself to bachelorettes in the Gold Coast and North Shore of Chicago for a night on the town in Orlando. You would wear a Chicago Bulls jersey, Bulls theme song (Alan Parsons Project – Sirius), get a sound system, lights and disco ball,, you’re golden. You will be the Michael Jordan of Comedian Strippers. You will be the gold standard against which all other Comedian Strippers are measured.
    Slogan – you already have one. ”It is inevitable that the inimitable Avitable is available.”
    Grab life by the horns!
    You rock!

  13. I like option 2. It made me laugh. Plus, no one likes skinny and hairless men, anyway.
    Option 3 made me laugh as well, but I think people might scan the title, and assume it was written by a woman, for women.
    Options 1 and 4 just don’t do your story and your humor, justice.
    Can’t wait to read whatever it is you decide on. 🙂

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