This was originally a comment I posted in a forum that focuses on trashing popular and well-known bloggers without any basis in fact or reality. I’ve edited it and added content.
You’d think this type of behavior wouldn’t surprise me anymore.
You’d think that I wouldn’t bother wasting my time reading through pages of belittling insults, passive-aggressive comments, gossip, rumors, speculation, and very little fact. Pages filled by comments from people who must be absolutely perfect in order to be able to judge someone else so casually while maintaining their own anonymity.
I forget, sometimes, that so many people have this need to discuss and/or manufacture controversy because it’s how they entertain themselves. I actually try to be an optimist and assume that people are, on a whole, good people.
But then I read these words. I read people who hide behind fake names to throw their stones and stomp their feet and gnash their teeth.
“How dare he/she?”
“Well, I heard that he/she did this . . .”
“You know that he/she’s like this . . ”
“Can you believe that he/she’d write that?”
“I heard from someone that he/she did this . . .”
“I’ve never met him/her, and I’m glad because I’d have to stop myself from hurting him/her if I did.”
This isn’t a soap opera. This isn’t manufactured drama designed to fill your entertainment needs. Life isn’t pretty, and it’s not easy. It doesn’t fit into the spaces we create in our minds.
A blogger doesn’t owe you anything. We are writing about our lives, but no matter how much we write, it’s still only a small part of who we are. The person behind the words is more dimensional, more faceted, and more complex than the painting that each of you creates, with broad, sweeping brush strokes. You don’t deserve an explanation for actions, and answer to questions, or insight into a choice. You get the right to read the words we put out there, or you get the right to hit that little cliched “x” in the top right.
My name is Adam Heath Avitable. I live at 407 Silver Oak Lane in Altamonte Springs, FL 32701. My phone number is 818-398-2079. I was married. I had an affair. I am single and trying to figure out my life. I’m not perfect, and I’m always learning and growing. But I’m here and putting myself out in the world for anyone to read, and for the short-sighted, petty, lonely people out there to judge. I own my words and I never say anything that I can’t defend.
Who are you, hiding out there and pretending that you know anything about the world? Who are you to say a single word about the life of someone else?
Next time you decide you want to comment or share your pathetic, anonymous voice, when you think you deserve something from someone who you don’t know and who wouldn’t want to know you, when you think that any of us owe you a goddamn thing, I would urge you to step back and really look at who you are.
Because, honestly, you’re the only person looking at you right now. Nobody else cares.