It’s Christmas in September!
Well, only if Christmas means you get something you could have gotten for free a few weeks ago, but now you have to pay for it.
“It” being my book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities, which is now available for sale on Amazon as both an ebook and in paperback.
However, what makes it Christmas-esque is that I have a shipment of the paperbacks here in my hairy little hands that I would love to sell directly to you. I’ll sign it, draw a little cartoon, and ship it out to you by personal candygram messenger. Or Priority Mail.
The book is only $9.99, and shipping is only $5.35. But the goodwill you’re going to have with me is worth at least a gajillion spacebucks. Maybe even two gajillion.
I’m doing this because I’m really proud of my book, and I want to get it into the hands of every possible person I can. I want you to read it and laugh and share it with a friend. And maybe take it into the bedroom when you’re alone at night and let it keep you company. It likes to be the big spoon.
This is about encouraging people to read on the toilet instead of playing Words With Friends or Angry Birds.
This is about my goal to make everybody laugh just a little.
This is about the amazing sense of accomplishment I have from seeing my name in print, and wanting to share even a little bit of that amazing feeling with you.
This is about Jesus.
This is about my mom having rarely been proud of me for anything but being so happy that she can find me on Amazon.com, even though the dedication to her in the book is profane and vulgar just to fuck with her.
This is not about the fact that I got four moving violation tickets on Saturday night after getting pulled over downtown by two cars filled with eight undercover cops who I fought with because they were a flock of assholes, and so they decided to find every possible violation they could to throw at me and now I have $600 in fines.
I’ll be selling pints of blood to pay for that last one. So, if you want to buy some blood and help me with my ticket, contact me privately, since that’s probably illegal.
But if you want to buy my book, signed by me, and make my day?