37 responses

  1. phenom1984
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Pussy. #eyeroll

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @phenom1984, I know. I’m ashamed.

  2. Blondefabulous
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Dude… you’d never make it in roller derby.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Blondefabulous, but that’s mostly because I can’t skate.

  3. metalmom
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    I told you it was a fetus, ya big baby.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @metalmom, it was a Kwato from Total Recall.

  4. Rachel
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    The question is, if you died, who would interview you in the afterlife?

    I’m glad you didn’t die.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Rachel, I have an interview with myself already done!

  5. B.E. Earl
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Every once in a while, the evil that lurks within you needs to bust loose and roam free. This may have been one of those times. Lord help us all. The evil is loose. THE EVIL IS LOOSE!

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @B.E. Earl, that’s better than the juice being loose.

  6. Stacey
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    That’s not a hangnail it’s a flesh eating virus! Go amputate your finger. Now!

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Stacey, done!

  7. Naked Girl in a Dress
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    So after rocking and chanting repeatedly to myself my wish to be able to unsee your FB image post, I *did* think about commenting. My boyfriend just had a similar problem with his toe, which I recommended simply amputating as the pink was rising rapidly up his foot and the broken blister on his toe was seeping buckets full of puss. Non-stop. The reason I hesitated was that he *did* have a staph infection and I didn’t want to freak you out. With the location of the disgusting wound, you would be losing the whole damn arm. Unlucky for you it was above the elbow.

    So glad others came to your rescue. If this happens again, let me know. I offered to remove my boyfriend’s toe with gardening clippers. Can do the same for you. It would save you $120 next time.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Naked Girl in a Dress, that’s why I drew it this time, so I didn’t scar anybody.

  8. lceel
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    The hairy armpit (what are you – European?) was bad enough, but I think I speak for many of us when I say, if you EVER get one of those things on your ass, WE DON’T WANT TO SEE IT!!!

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @lceel, do American men shave their armpits? Is that during or after they are having sex with other men?

  9. tracey
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Thank God you had $120. A lot of people don’t and would be all “Hmmm? Am I going to die from this? LET’S WAIT AND SEE BECAUSE I HAVE NO $ OR INSURANCE!”

    Did you see how I threw a little politics into the comments? Sneaky bitch, eh?

    GLad you’re going to live.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @tracey, I was almost like that, too. I seriously considered treating it at home with no antibiotics.

  10. Stephanie
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    My husband’s an ER doc. Hit me up next time. He’ll have you buttoned up in a minute.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Stephanie, good to know. And by buttoned up, do you mean freaking out about the fact that everyone thinks I’m going to die?

      • Stephanie
        Wednesday, September 19, 2012

        @Avitable, Something like that. ;-)

  11. Nanna
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Funny thing about this. One of my very first case studies when I was working on my NP thingie was about a “spider bite”. Cuz, apparently, everyone always thinks they get bit by spiders. And it is hardly EVER a spider bite, but instead, a staph infection. And sometimes, of course, MRSA (which is just really nasty staph). And the way to tell is that it does indeed turn you into a zombie (and grows really really fast). I’m glad you went and got it looked at and treated. Want me to tell you about a “bread poultice”? :)

    • Nanna
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      PS Jay was also hospitalized one time for a hangnail gone amok. Same thing. Antibiotics will cover both. Dumb ass.

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Nanna, what’s a bread poultice? Is that what it looks like when it’s untreated? I’ve seen every medical thing you can imagine, thanks to my mom, so nothing actually bothers me.

  12. Loukia
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    OOOH my tummy, after reading this post… #barf

    Glad you’re still alive! Would now be a good time to remind you Canada has FREE HEALTH CARE FOR ALL?

    Silly Americans… ;)

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Loukia, it’s ridiculous!

  13. Megan
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    So what the hell was it?

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Megan, when I was putting on deodorant the day before, the deodorant itself fell off the container and I accidentally scraped my armpit with the plastic. I think that irritated it and then it just became a mild staph infection.

  14. Lynda
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    I knew someone who had a brown recluse bite, and the only thing that saved her after toughing it out for two weeks was Benedryl. The doctor also told her she could have died. Maybe it was the same doctor?

    • Avitable
      Wednesday, September 19, 2012

      @Lynda, if he disappeared in a cloud of smoke, probably.

  15. Little Miss Sunshine State
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    I JUST got back from the clinic with my daughter. The bottom of her leg and her foot looked like your armpit and the skin was red and so tight it looked like a balloon was going to burst.

    Fire Ants bites. Staph infection. 10 days of antibiotics. $79 at CVS Minute Clinic. Free antibiotics at Publix. Good times.

    Hope you heal quickly.

  16. Poppy
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    I’m very glad you didn’t die. I really like that drawing.

  17. Maura
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    And THIS is why most men can CLEARLY not live on their own! Their instant reaction to “tough it out” is about as stupid as it gets.

    I love you anyway, Adam, you dumb man.

  18. Natalie the Singingfool
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    The same thing happened to me last month, instead of a mega-zet staph infection whatever, it was just a garden variety sinus infection. I definitely would not have died from it. Maybe it’s not EXACTLY the same…

  19. Elisa
    Thursday, September 20, 2012

    Not that I am not horrified at your ordeal and sympathetic, but your doctor disappearing in a cloud of smoke after delivering that line? Smug bastard. No way to sneak in a smart-ass retort when there’s nobody there. Not having the last word may be worse than spending the $120. No, wait, $120??? That’s definitely worse.

  20. the muskrat
    Thursday, September 20, 2012

    Doctors are for the weak.

  21. Rachel
    Thursday, September 20, 2012

    God that made me laugh so much! My partner is prone to this sort of random skin stuff too and instead of seeking medical advice prefers to try and tackle the problem himself via acts of ‘home surgery’.

    I am often roped in as an unwilling assistant to help with probing, lancing and squeezing, and over the last 11 years I’ve seen things that you just can’t un-see.

    So I’m glad you actually went and got it sorted out before it turned into a septic mess. Quite frankly I’ve only just found your blog and you’re too funny to die just yet ; )

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