Way back in the good old days of blogging, I used to run trivia contests every week. I would pick one of those stupid question and answer memes that circulated MySpace every fourteen minutes and answer all the questions using references from movies, television, or music. (Check out one of the old contests). And in 2011, I revisited it, but in a different vein. Instead of answering questions from a meme with references, I wrote a short story that was filled with 30 references to movies or television and gave a prize to the top two winners and we all shared some laughter and tears and learned a valuable lesson about life.
Well, thanks to a post by my Canadian sister by another mister, Ali Martell, I have been inspired to do it again. In the following short story, there are 33 references to movies and television shows and the characters within. Some are painfully obscure, some are glaringly obvious, and I’ve never yet come across anyone who could get them all. Do you think you can?
The top three winners will receive a signed copy of my book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities (available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats), and if anyone guesses all 33 references, he or she wins an original Avitable cartoon drawing!
Here are the rules:
- Read the short story below.
- Google, Bing, or do whatever the hell you want to see if you can figure out all of the references below.
- Fill out the form below the story with the references, IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE IN THE STORY – all you need to fill out is the movie name or television show, but you can give more details if you’d like. If you have problems with the form, you can email them to me at avitable at gmail blah blah you know the rest.
- I won’t reference the same movie or TV show twice, so each guess should be unique.
- Comment below to let me know that you submitted your guesses!
Ready? Annnnnd . . . go:
McLovin knew, as soon as he woke up, that today was the day. Even with his neck sore and arms tingling from sleeping in his normal position (face first into the pillow, left arm tucked under his torso, right arm awkwardly flung behind his back) he was ready to go. He leapt up, fully clothed, grabbed his towel, and headed out the door with a quick wave to his brother, who was sitting at the table poking himself in the eye with a cork-tipped fork.
Cody National Bank, a large chain of financial institutions, opened its doors at 9 AM that morning. McLovin walked in with a purpose, which is different than a porpoise, an aquatic mammal with an abrupt snout, pointed teeth, and a triangular thoracic fin, and proceeded directly to the manager. “I need my safe deposit box,” McLovin said to the man, noticing that he had six fingers on his right hand.
“Yes, sir. Walk this way,” the manager replied, and headed for the vault. With a quick wink at the love of his life, the bubbly, chubby Sookie the bank teller, McLovin quickly followed him into the Gringottian recesses of the bank.
The safe deposit boxes were held in room 1409. Ignoring the screams of horror emanating from the room next door, both the men entered the vault. McLovin stared in shock at one wall that was lined with aquariums filled with human heads, but recovered quickly. The manager, Edgar, pulled a box from the wall and handed it to McLovin right as a large roach crawled out from his sleeve and across McLovin’s hand. Letting loose a scream like a girl who just destroyed her ficus plant, he jumped up on the table. The manager looked at him with disgust before leaving the room, saying quietly to himself, “Nooooope! That boy ain’t right.”
After calming down by saying the mantra his mother always taught him (before she burned to death while stuck to the ceiling of his bedroom), “Blergh, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, farley, farley, hawthorne wipes, YDAL GOL”, McLovin climbed down from the table and opened the safe deposit box. A yellow glow emanated, illuminating his smile until that was the only part of him visible in the room.
As McLovin left the vault with the contents of his box, he found Edgar waiting outside. They began to walk quickly through the halls while having a witty, fast-paced conversation, the contents of which we’ll skip, because I’m the narrator and don’t see another one, so pipe down.
Sookie chuckled to herself as she counted her money, “1 2 3 4 5, 6 7 8 9 10, 11 12. 12!” She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even notice McLovin at her feet until he poked her in her foot (Sookie was really proud of her shoes – they were sick kicks for the ladies). “Oh!”
“Sookie, my love, you always beat me when we play Marshgammon, you never get mad when I forget to take Backup out for a walk, and you even forgave me when we had to move to Cleveland after I lost my job in California. Will you marry me?” McLovin held out a single red rose and a large diamond ring.
“Yes, yes, onnne millllion times yes!” Sookie squealed.
As the happy couple embraced, Edgar leaned over and whispered in McLovin’s ear, “She beats you at Marshgammon?”
With a smile, McLovin replied, “I always let the Sookie win.”
Submit your answers here!