75 responses

  1. Carolyn Bahm
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Most awesome list of random stats ever. ;o)

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Thanks. I had fun compiling it!

  2. Zelda Fitzgerald
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Boxer briefs? I figured you for a jockey bikini guy.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I need to let my boys breathe down there!

  3. Maura
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I’ve decided that the drawing is of a tray on wheels to hold your penis and NOT a walker because you’re only 36, for fuck’s sake, and you’re a long way from a walker, Guy Who Is Younger Than Me!

    Oh, and Happy Birthday!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      That just means we’re both old! :)

  4. TwoBusy
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Goddamn, that was comprehensive. And informative.

    Happy birthday, dude.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I leave no stone unturned.

  5. Amanda Gee
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday!!!!

  6. Brittany
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday, what a life well lived! I love this! I’ll buy you a drink in March!

  7. Karen Sugarpants
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday, you young pup! Hope it’s a great day!

  8. The Muskrat
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday! Glad your looks have kept us from fighting.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I could never fight you! Unless Deb asked me to.

  9. bo
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday Adam! If you ever want to drive 1,000+ miles for sex, let me know!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I will keep that in mind.

  10. Al_Pal
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Nice. Glad to see the stat on Tijuana Flats. ;)
    Happy Birthday! You’re eleven days younger than me. Which means you’re also Year of the Fire Dragon–woo hoo!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      And since I love redheads, I’ll rename that to Year of the Fire Crotch.

  11. Roo Ciambriello
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday! I never want to get in a car with you!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      No accidents!

  12. Megan
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    For my birthday you must write a post about giving yourself a blow job. That’s if I don’t die of old age first.

    Happy Birthday. :)

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I thought I had written about that – I was young and more flexible and almost broke my neck for the second and a half that I was able to actually accomplish it.

  13. Tara R.
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You’re still a young whipper-snapper. Hope you have a statistically epic birthday.

  14. Crys
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I’m most curious about the blowjob and the crime. Duh.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I’ll tell you over a glass or a million of wine someday.

  15. Nuala
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Sadly I could not help comparing a lot of your stats with mine in my head as I read this. Grin. That was awesome.

  16. theheaddog
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday Adam…..Painted toe-nails and shaved balls, you’re quite the catch.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I know, right?

  17. M
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I am so horny right now. Seriously.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      From that list of stats? Not sure how that happened! :)

  18. Stacey J
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You’re a brave man.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Nah – no point in being ashamed of anything I’ve done in my life.

  19. Loukia
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I kicked your ass in Psychology! I’m smarter AND older than you now! ;)

    Happy Birthday!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Well, I took it again and did well, so there. :)

  20. Amber
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Wow! YOur an “equal opportunity” sex partner! Good for you! :) Happy birthday!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I don’t think I realized how diverse the pool was until I started making the stats. :)

  21. Rachel
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday.

  22. Colleen – @amadisonmom
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Love you list!

    Wishing you the happiest of birthdays! Hope 36 is your best year yet!

  23. Nona
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Is that 6.5 inches length or girth? Asking for a friend.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Ouch – girth? That wouldn’t be a penis. That would be a foot.

  24. inadequatethings
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing all of the information I could ever want to know about you and more. :) Welcome to 36. It’s a nice place to be.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      That’s what I do best! :)

  25. Stacey
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You didnt include any non caucasian women in your sexual partner stats. Is that because there haven’t been any? Racist. ;)
    Happy Birthday, Adam. May you have the best of everything!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      15 of the 16 were Caucasian, so one wasn’t! :)

  26. Lisa
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday!!!

  27. beearl
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You frighten me.

    That’s a compliment. Happy Birthday, Avitadude!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I frighten me too.

  28. Dave2
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happiest of birthdays to you, sir!

  29. sybillawSybil Law
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday, you old Fucker.

  30. Bonnie B.
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    GREAT list of stats! Part 2 of this post needs to be some explanations of those stats, though. Inquiring minds want to know (more)…..

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Which in particular? :)

  31. Jessica Bern
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I would never be this honest.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      No? It’s rather refreshing!

  32. Michelle
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday! Great list. Oldest was 40? You need to get out more. You’re in Florida ferchrissakes.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Well, I just tend to prefer the younger woman. :)

  33. echo (@echolalia)
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You’ve led an interesting life so far, sir. I wish you the best for the future and hope you have a lovely birthday!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      It has been pretty interesting. Thank you!

  34. Poppy
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday, again!

    Blowjobs are for penises, right? So, naturally I’m curious if you were altered or sober.

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Well, I was 13 and just managed to be flexible enough to give myself one. For about a second, and then I thought my neck was going to break.

  35. Jenn H.
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    You may think you’re getting old, but at least you’ve got your memory to remember all those stats! Shoot…I’ll be 35 in June & my memory is horrible! Hope you have a great birthday!

  36. Kimberly
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    I hope that you have a fabulous birthday and an even better year. Thank you so much for all the laughs you have brought me. Thanks for making me think and sometimes pushing the limits so that I do the same. You are an awesomely flawed guy who deserves happiness!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      “Awesomely flawed guy” may be my new favorite phrase.

  37. iamkarinwithani
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy birthday. In the words of Kelly Bundy, “The mind wobbles” at all the randomosity in this post. I hope your birthday and your 37th year are filled with wishes and dreams come true!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      I’m only 36, not 37! :)

      I’ll blame the fact that I made your mind wobble.

  38. Angela
    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    Happy Birthday!!

  39. Greis
    Sunday, January 27, 2013

    Happy Birthday Adam! Hope it was great!!

  40. GrandeMocha
    Sunday, January 27, 2013

    I can’t believe “Times I’ve eaten at Tijuana Flats: 294″. I thought that would be much higher.

    I too want to read about you giving yourself a blowjob.

    Happy Belated Birthday!

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      It’s not even that great of a story. I was 13, flexible, and managed to do it for about a second before I thought my neck was going to break. :)

  41. martymankins
    Sunday, January 27, 2013

    Happy Birthday, you young thing, you.

  42. diddy
    Monday, January 28, 2013

    Happy Birthday!

  43. ZW
    Monday, January 28, 2013

    I hope 36 is kind to you, happy, happy!

  44. Raeanne
    Monday, January 28, 2013

    Is the one bone broken yours or mine???

    • Avitable
      Monday, January 28, 2013

      Haha! I’ll never live that down!

  45. Allyson
    Monday, January 28, 2013

    So, if you’ve already received hundreds of nude photos, does that mean it’s no longer an acceptable belated birthday present?

  46. shamelesslysassy
    Tuesday, January 29, 2013

    Tropical shirts owned is an impressive number!

  47. jd523
    Wednesday, January 30, 2013

    Number of years til you’re as old as me: a) 14 b) never : )

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