About two weeks ago, I put up a little TV/movie trivia contest. I wrote a short story that contained 33 references to different movies or television series, and the three top winners will win a signed copy of my book Interviews with Dead Celebrities.
I guess I probably made it too difficult, yet again, since only six of you actually took on the challenge, but the rest of you can take comfort in the fact that I only think you’re lazy, not stupid.
Well, it’s answer time! Here And now, here is the original story with all movie/TV show titles listed immediately after the reference (in blue) parenthetically:
McLovin (Superbad) knew, as soon as he woke up, that today was the day. Even with his neck sore and arms tingling from sleeping in his normal position (face first into the pillow, left arm tucked under his torso, right arm awkwardly flung behind his back) (Back to the Future I, II, or III) he was ready to go. He leapt up, fully clothed, grabbed his towel (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), and headed out the door with a quick wave to his brother, who was sitting at the table poking himself in the eye with a cork-tipped fork (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels).
Cody National Bank (Agent Cody Banks), a large chain of financial institutions, opened its doors at 9 AM that morning. McLovin walked in with a purpose, which is different than a porpoise, an aquatic mammal with an abrupt snout, pointed teeth, and a triangular thoracic fin (Ace Ventura, Pet Detective), and proceeded directly to the manager. “I need my safe deposit box,” McLovin said to the man, noticing that he had six fingers on his right hand (The Princess Bride).
“Yes, sir. Walk this way (Young Frankenstein),” the manager replied, and headed for the vault. With a quick wink at the love of his life, the bubbly, chubby Sookie (Gilmore Girls) the bank teller, McLovin quickly followed him into the Gringottian (Any Harry Potter movie) recesses of the bank.
The safe deposit boxes were held in room 1409. Ignoring the screams of horror emanating from the room next door (1408), both the men entered the vault. McLovin stared in shock at one wall that was lined with aquariums filled with human heads (The Walking Dead), but recovered quickly. The manager, Edgar, pulled a box from the wall and handed it to McLovin right as a large roach crawled out from his sleeve (Men in Black) and across McLovin’s hand. Letting loose a scream like a girl who just destroyed her ficus plant (The Simpsons), he jumped up on the table. The manager looked at him with disgust before leaving the room, saying quietly to himself, “Nooooope! (Archer) That boy ain’t right. (King of the Hill)”
After calming down by saying the mantra his mother always taught him (before she burned to death while stuck to the ceiling of his bedroom (Supernatural)), “Blergh (30 Rock), chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, farley, farley (The Three Amigos), hawthorne wipes (Community), YDAL GOL (Twin Peaks)”, McLovin climbed down from the table and opened the safe deposit box. A yellow glow emanated (Pulp Fiction), illuminating his smile until that was the only part of him visible in the room (Alice in Wonderland).
As McLovin left the vault with the contents of his box, he found Edgar waiting outside. They began to walk quickly through the halls while having a witty, fast-paced conversation (Any Aaron Sorkin show), the contents of which we’ll skip, because I’m the narrator and don’t see another one, so pipe down (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).
Sookie chuckled to herself as she counted her money, “1 2 3 4 5, 6 7 8 9 10, 11 12. 12! (Sesame Street) ” She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even notice McLovin at her feet until he poked her in her foot (Sookie was really proud of her shoes – they were sick kicks for the ladies (Tosh.0)). “Oh!”
“Sookie, my love, you always beat me when we play Marshgammon (How I Met Your Mother), you never get mad when I forget to take Backup out for a walk (Veronica Mars), and you even forgave me when we had to move to Cleveland after I lost my job in California (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Will you marry me?” McLovin held out a single red rose (The Bachelor) and a large diamond ring.
“Yes, yes, onnne millllion (Austin Powers) times yes!” Sookie squealed.
As the happy couple embraced, Edgar leaned over and whispered in McLovin’s ear, “She beats you at Marshgammon?”
With a smile, McLovin replied, “I always let the Sookie win. (Star Wars)”
And here are the competitors and winners:
Congratulations to BE Earl, Laurie Ann, and Carol – email me your addresses so I can send you a copy of the book. Thank you to everyone who took the time to enter! To the rest of you, pbbbbbbbbthhhh.