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Reaching My Egotistical Limits: Signazon Window Clings

A few weeks ago, I got approached by about doing a review of one of their products. It’s not my normal thing, but when someone wants to send you a free product plus pay you to write a completely objective review of their product, who am I to say no to that? I’m not Jesus.

Looking through their site, I realized that their products are for the small to large business who wants to market a product or service, inform the public, or annoy everyone with a really distracting car that you can’t stop looking at as you’re trying to drive 90 mph down the road. They let you turn your design into a sticker or into car decals and giant magnets and all types of custom business products that seem pretty fucking cool.

I do, in fact, own a business, but with no brick and mortar store (hell, I don’t even wear pants) or any tangible business location, it didn’t make sense to use their custom products for something pertinent to my company. Not that this will stop some businesses – the other day, I saw a kid dressed as a giant tooth standing outside a dentist’s office spinning a sign that said “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is”. Why is that a valuable way to spend your marketing money? Is someone going to be driving by with an impacted molar or need a dental night guard and say “Hey! I don’t need to research the doctor who I’ll trust my dental health to! Why would I ask for recommendations from friends for someone to be my doctor? I’ll just go the place with the sullen teenager in the giant fucking tooth costume!” I guess it could have been worse – at least it wasn’t an Ob/Gyn.

Anyway. After looking through Signazon’s site and settling on a window cling that would be two feet wide by four feet tall, I tried to figure out what I wanted on it. It would be going on one of my front or back windows, and I felt like it should have an important message.

“Recycle!” Nah.

“Solicitors and Jehovah’s Witnesses will be flashed by a fat naked man.” No, they all know that already. I’m in the newsletter.

“Welcome to The Avitable Camp For Wayward Women.” I mean, that is the actual name for my home on Foursquare, but nah.

And then I had it. I wanted something that I could look at on my bedroom’s rear sliding glass doors every morning as I woke up. Something that would inspire me. Motivate me. Arouse me.

Adam Avitable's Wall Cling from Signazon

When the window cling arrived from Signazon, I was impressed with it. It’s see-through, easy to read, and applied very easily to my slider. I wish that instructions had come in the box rather than emailed with my order, but that’s a minor concern. I’ve had it clinging to my slider for the past few weeks without incident. It’s high quality and something I would totally buy and use for a business if mine was a brick and mortar store or had local services like an ice cream parlor, an exterminator, a contractor or plumber, or a local escort service.

And if you’re wondering, I totally got paid to write this review and got the product for free, but the guys at Signazon have no control over what I’m actually going to say. In fact, I think they’re probably trying to figure out what the hell they were thinking by asking me of all people to review their products. All I can say to that is that it could have been worse, guys. It could have been so much worse.

Now if only a psychiatrist would pay me to review her services as she offers me free counseling to deal with the narcissism . . .

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