National Entrepreneur Center

Cupcakes, entrepreneurs, and a free pair of Southwest tickets.

Panoramic view of the National Entrepreneur Center in Orlando

I started my own business ten years ago. I did not, as I thought at that moment, know it all. I didn’t even know part of it. I also didn’t know about the National Entrepreneur Center.

Last night, I was invited to partake in an event with free wine and food where we could learn about the NEC and what they have to offer. They had me at free wine.

Sunshine Baker and Adam "Darkness" Avitable
I drink my wine like a classy MF – out of a red solo cup. Photo courtesy of Sunshine Baker. I’ll be the Darkness to her Sunshine.

Put on by Edgecore, with food from Tijuana Flats and cupcakes from Gigi’s Cupcakes, the event took place at the National Entrepreneur Center, located in its own huge section of the Fashion Square Mall.

The last time I voluntarily went into a mall, it was because a girl wanted my opinion (translation: credit card) on some outfits she was buying at Victoria’s Secret, so it was with some trepidation that I entered the vast wasteland of 90s consumerism, threading through kiosks offering everything from vaporizers to cell phone accessories to other products of dubious quality.

What I found was an impressive organization that providesĀ free counseling, low-cost business seminars, and access to a fantastic list of resources, from the US Department of Commerce employees who help businesses who want to export out of the United States to theĀ National Association of Women Business Owners: Orlando, the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce of Metro Orlando and many others.

And then there were the amazing cupcakes. Gaze upon them and drool out of jealous deprival:

Gigi's Cupcakes of Orlando

Gigi's Cupcakes of Orlando

Anyone with aspirations of starting a business in Central Florida should stop by and take advantage of what the NEC has to offer. If you’re looking for some business ideas, here are some products and services that I think the market severely lacks:

  • Pizza delivery, but by strippers who stay and eat pizza and watch Futurama with you;
  • Sex ninjas;
  • Bacon seasoned with Red Bull for that caffeinated boost;
  • A video game where you just try to get your dad to say he’s proud of you even though you read books instead of playing sports;
  • A dating site that matches large hairy men with tiny beautiful redheads;
  • Trees that grow money, because it’s about time;
  • Instant cloning technology for adventurous sexual escapades;
  • An app that notifies the user of the closest place selling bacon; and
  • A U-turn signal for those assholes who screw everybody up in the left-turn lane at those 12-second green arrows all over Orlando.

Thanks again to the National Entrepreneur Center for hosting this event – every time I think I know everything about Orlando, I’m treated to gems like this place, which could benefit from more publicity and notice. And thank you for allowing me to offer this contest to my readers.

That’s right. How does the prospect of winning two MFing plane tickets from Southwest Air sound? One lucky reader will be chosen to win, and the contest ends on October 24th!

Just enter below, and then get your ass working on that sex ninjas business, okay?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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