Last year, I sent out Christmas cards to 420 people in ten different countries and forty-one different states, all with hand-written messages of love and boners.
This year, let’s double that number! If you’ve never gotten a Christmas card from me, here are six of them sent over the last 11 years, getting increasingly more awesome the less married I was, obviously:
“But Avitable,” you ask as you stroke my beard, “will this card make my husband/wife/chid/grandmother/priest/schizophrenic aunt angry or offended?”
Nope! Just as in the past years, this year’s card will be family appropriate for all families!* All you have to do is fill out the form below and submit your name and address, and you’re done!
“But Avitable,” you ask, still stroking my beard, “what do I do if I want to send you something amazing? Like a gift of bacon or chocolate or even a nice Christmas card?”
That’s easy! Here’s my address:
Adam Heath Avitable
Avitable Camp for Wayward Women
407 Silver Oak Lane
Altamonte Springs, FL 32701
Please to be filling out the form below. If for some reason, you can’t figure it out, you can click here.
And finally! Please share this post on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and any other network – let’s make this into the biggest card exchange in Avitable history!
*Okay, probably 99.7% of families. 98% at the very least.