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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Category Archives: Dirty talk
Twas the night
Two years ago I wrote my own version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas”. I thought I’d share it with you again: Twas the night With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged christmas, christmas eve, comedy, crude, humor, poetry, profane, twas the night, vulgar
17 Comments
Fat naked guys are funny: A study
This part right here is the pitch. It’s where I would write some clever wording and explain some far-fetched scenario that explains the photo below. I would talk about the post last week where my head was Photoshopped on Levi … Continue reading
Marry, Fuck, or Kill?
After playing around with the new Twitter list function and randomly adding all people I’m following into either a “marry“, “fuck“, or “kill” list, I decided that we should play that game. Out of the following groups, who would you … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged celebrities, fuck, humor, kill, marry, muppets, sesame street, twitter, twitter lists
93 Comments
Hottest Cartoon Characters
With this month’s Playboy showcasing a nude Marge Simpson, there is obviously some appeal in seeing a fictional drawn character nude. Marge wouldn’t be my first choice, even though she looks pretty hot, and I know there are at least … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged cartoon, cartoon porn, humor, marge simpson, naked marge, nudity, porn
98 Comments
There comes a time in every man’s life when he tries to suck his own dick
“There I was, fourteen years old, laying on my back on the edge of my bed. Naked. My legs arcing over my head, my hands slowly pushed my back further and further until my shoulders and elbows were the only … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged blowjobs, cocksucking, comedy, coming of age, fellate, fellatio, humor, self-suck, sex
73 Comments
Jesus Fucking Christ
I was working on an interview with the recently deceased John Hughes, but it’s taking longer than I thought. Instead, I thought I’d just share this little gem with you, sent to me by Nobody. Have a great Monday!
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged avitable, christianity, dark humor, funny, going to hell, holy, humor, jesus, jesus christ
158 Comments
Learn How to Use Dirty Talk, the Avitable Way
A certain friend makes fun of me because I have a problem with dirty talk. She tries to get me to say some of the vilest things, and I typically abstain. It’s not out of embarrassment as much as it … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged avitable, christian, comedy, Dirty talk, humor, puritan, sex, sexual terminology, slang, victorian
105 Comments
America’s Next Top Moob Contest
A few nights ago, I posted this tweet on Twitter: “I’m bored. Who wants to talk to me? Or call me. Or send me pictures of their boobs.” While the response from my female followers was severely disappointing, the men … Continue reading
Help me start a new tradition.
The Rickroll is over. Dead. Gone. Thanks to LeSombre, we have a new tradition. Tweet it, blog it, share it on FB. Make this the next RickRoll. Now . . . go! *** In other Avita-news, tonight at 9 PM … Continue reading
