Archive for the ‘General’ Category

My good friend Sullivan over at Redrighthand.net had a treatment of his performed by two actors in front of a live audience. It's a smart, funny psychological thriller that starts off well and gets stronger throughout the entire piece. Give it a shot if you've got 20 minutes:

Mastermind from Michael Patrick Sullivan on Vimeo.

Also, one of my very favoritest Canadians is having a birthday today. She's 53 years old. Happy birthday, Karen Sugarpants!

The Seminole County Fun Sheriff got off his nifty bike and strolled up to the car.

"Good afternoon, sir." He honked his red nose. "My name is Sargeant Whizzbang and I am with the fun police. Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"No idea. I'm pretty sure I was only having a legal amount of fun."

"That may be true, but you were overflowing with awesomeness. Too much awesomeness is a crime in this county."

"I was? I mean, I know that I have a tendency to be pretty awesome, but I didn't think I was awesome this time. I was listening to Avril Lavigne on my radio and even dancing a little bit. That doesn't seem awesome to me."

"Normally, since being a man in your thirties dancing to Avril Lavigne is the opposite of awesome, we'd let you off with a fun warning, but I can't today."

"Why not, officer? I'm sorry that I was exceeding the awesomeness, but I couldn't help it. I exuberated past a totally downer truck."

"Unfortunately, thanks to the budget crisis, we had a fun trap set up, and we're not allowed to issue anything except LOLing violation tickets."

"I really don't think I was awesome enough for a ticket, though."

"I clocked you at 90 zipadeedoodahs per hour in a 65 zph zone."

"Well, that is pretty fucking awesome."

Yesterday I got bamboozled into skipping work and going to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure with Britt and Hilly. Having not been to the former in at least 10 years and the latter ever at all, it was a fun time and a learning experience. I feel that it is my duty, however, to pass on my recently acquired knowledge to you so that you can make the most of your trip to Orlando.

• Dipping Dots may look cool, but they are a very poor replacement for ice cream.
• The Express Plus pass that lets you cut ahead of people in line is worth every penny. Besides, you're too good to wait in line with all the common folk.
• If there is a ride like the Bilge Rat Express, where they provide a plastic waterproof area to put your valuables, you are going to get soaked. SOAKED.
• The lap bars on the Jimmy Neutron ride may kill you by pushing your stomach through your spine if you have a waist larger than 38 inches.
• There are some ugly people in the world, and they all like to wear clothing that is way too tight with buckets of flab hanging out all over the place.
• It's okay if your score gets beat by a 13-year old girl on the Men in Black ride. Even if she keeps crowing about it loudly over and over again.
• Intelligent adult women will still scream at an animatronic shark that comes out of the water at a predictable point in time.
• Valet parking is totally worth it so that you don't have to walk to E. Fucking T. 400 to get your car. Even if the valets are all apparently 90 year old men who take 45 minutes to get your car.
• The fudge in the shop at the entrance to Islands of Adventure is probably poisoned, so you're lucky that the line was so long that you were unable to buy any.
• The best way to dry your clothes after riding on a soaking wet ride is to take off your clothes in the backseat of the car you're in and lay them out next to you. Even if you're riding in a car with two women.
• Complaining about the heat at a theme park is a good way to get punched in the nuts by all of the jealous people who are mad that you are an awesome boss and took off a Friday to go with two of your friends/employees instead of working.

I've had this post idea from a post by Tracy in my drafts for a long time. Simply put, she came up with her rules for life. And now here are mine:

1. The world needs garbage men and house cleaners. It's not classism or economic discrimination to pay people to do jobs that you wouldn't do. It's how the world works.

2. Everyone has an infinite capacity to love, and you will never run out of love for one person by loving another.

3. Once you realize that I'm almost always right, and that I've thought of everything, things will be much easier for all of us.

4. There's no such thing as putting too much effort into proving a point.

5. Funny trumps all.

6. Everyone will disappoint you at least once in your life. Forgive them. It's when it becomes a habit that you need to cut them out of your life.

7. Controlling your situation is the best way to make sure that you're not caught unawares. "Winging it" is a good way to make sure that you end up looking like an idiot.

8. Words only have as much power as you give them. If you ignore them, they will lose all effectiveness.

9. No matter how bad things are for you, there's always someone else out there who is worse. Look for the positive aspects first.

What are your rules for life?

(Once again, no radio show tonight. We're still trying to recover!)

I'm writing this Saturday afternoon before heading over to Brad and Liz's house for ConFab. I was up Friday until 3 AM, woke up at 7, and got about a 30 minute nap today. So I'm exhausted and the big event hasn't even happened yet!

I had a guest poster that was supposed to send me something (*ahem* Tanis *ahem*) but she got too busy, so this is the extent of my Sunday post. Today is my day of rest, okay?