Category Archives: I am not gay

Twinkle toes

Posted on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 by Avitable

As of Monday morning, that’s what my toes looked like. In the bright light of the day, they sparkled and shined. And the color was starting to grow on me. However, in the dark or in dim light, they just … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , | 38 Comments

Number One Gilmore Girls Fan

Posted on Tuesday, May 5, 2009 by Avitable

Yesterday while tearing through a pile of work, I decided that I needed something to watch while I toiled. I pulled out my Special Collector’s Edition of the full series of Gilmore Girls and stuck in Season 1 from the … Continue reading →

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I must be premenstrual

Posted on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 by Avitable

Maybe I’m having sympathy PMS from all the PMSy bitchiness enveloping me everywhere I go recently, because this video just feels kind of happy and inspiring, and I can’t think of anything cynical or sarcastic to say about it. Where … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , , | 70 Comments

Foot fetish

Posted on Tuesday, April 22, 2008 by Avitable

Confused? Befuddled? Horrified? Concerned for the fate of my sexuality? Go find out how the hell this happened.

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , , , , , | 90 Comments

Yesterday’s triumph

Posted on Wednesday, January 2, 2008 by Avitable

Yesterday, shopping at Border’s, I saw a ray of light come through the ceiling and alight on an endcap in the DVD section. Angels sang, and I walked in a hypnotic trance, grabbed the holy relic, and ran to the … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , | 61 Comments

Is this fucking week over yet?

Posted on Friday, December 14, 2007 by Avitable

First, go see my guest post over at Tracy’s. You can also see the full image here. Secondly, go wish Britt’s son Devin a happy birthday! Thirdly, today is supposedly some blog crush day where you talk about your secret … Continue reading →

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A Day in the Life of a Fag

Posted on Sunday, September 30, 2007 by jester

Man, there’s a lot of pressure to be funny here today. I’ve known about writing a guest post here for a week, and I gotta tell you, I sat frozen for days wondering exactly what I was going to write … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay, Substitute Avitable, Whoring | Tagged , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Futile

Posted on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 by Avitable

Last night I dream of toilets and peeing. I dream of oceans and fountains, and peeing in them. I keep having a recurring dream where I wake up, pee, and then go back to bed and then wake up and … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , , , | 60 Comments

Waxing hirsutic

Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 by Avitable

Before you get today’s post, you get some more pimping. Don’t forget to go visit my new site, Postcard Hell and buy some embarrassingly funny postcards to send to your mom, your dad, and your favorite uncle. It’s only $4 … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , , , | 76 Comments

It’s not what it looks like

Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 by Avitable

“So, what’s up, dogfucker?” the voice in my ear smacked loudly and then exhaled as Britt sucked on one of her cancer sticks. She is so loud on the phone when she smokes that it literally sounds like Denis Leary’s … Continue reading →

Posted in I am not gay | Tagged , , , , | 71 Comments