Most of you have already seen this, I'm sure, but for those of you who haven't, it's awesome. I love seeing all these actors get together to play different Presidents. And Chevy Chase and Dana Carvey in one room? Comedy awesomeness, in my opinion. Thanks to Faiqa for pointing it out to me!
If you've been paying attention to the news at all, you might have seen the conflict between Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. Apparently, Sarah Palin demanded that President Obama fire his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, after it was reported that Emanuel said "fucking retarded" in a private meeting. She considered any version of the use of the word "retard" to be disrespectful.
Separately, Rush Limbaugh grew frustrated with protests around Emanuel's use of "retard", saying "our politically correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards."
Now, you see, we have the bloated, drug addicted face and voice of the Republican Party butting heads with Alaska's biggest disaster since the Exxon Valdez crash. How will those Republicans who follow Fox News blindly know who to listen to? Should they go rogue or hope Obama fails? Which is it? This could break the Republican Party in half!
Luckily, Sarah Palin had a solution. I've obtained an exclusive look at the email she wrote to Rush to try to defuse the entire situation.
"Dear Rush,
I think we can both agree that it is in the best interest of this great country of ours to come to an agreement. I do have a problem with the word "retard", but I suggest as a compromise that the word "tard" is more acceptable because it has fewer letters. It also has a bit of a cutesy tone to it, and Toddy says that I do well with cutesy.
So if you would be willing to redirect your anger about people protesting Emanuel's statement, I won't worry about my little tard having his feelings hurt. This is for the greater good, remember, and no matter what, we have to compromise whatever principles we have to make sure that nigger doesn't get another term.
Love and winks,
Sarah."
In other Avita-news, today is the 38th birthday of my good friend and Geekette Supreme, Heather! She doesn't look a day over 25, especially when she's in uniform. Happy birthday, Heather!
My grandfather is a good person. I've never seen him do harm to another soul, look down on anyone else, or do anything negative in his entire life. I like my grandfather a great deal, and it's hard to reconcile the funny, easygoing man I've known all my life with the same person who forwards this type of shit to me by email. It fosters hatred and ignorance and is fearmongering bullshit. I wish I could understand why he thinks this is okay, or why he thinks that this is smart, or good, or even a Christian thing to do. I've pasted his latest forward below, with my comments in bold*. I've gone ahead and fixed the numerous grammatical issues out of courtesy:
CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?
(This is certainly 'food-for-thought'.. What do you think?)
This is very interesting and we all need to read it from start to finish. And send it on to everyone. Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities.
Can a good Muslim be a good American?
This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.
Oh, well, since he worked there for 20 years, he's obviously an expert. Or just an idiot with a construction job.
The following is his reply:
Theologically – no.. . .
Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon god of Arabia.Muslims worship the same God as Jews and Christians. And doesn't the second commandment prohibit no other god? That sounds like allegiance to me.
Religiously – no. . .
Because no other religion is accepted by his Allah Except Islam (Qur'an, 2:256)(Koran)The line quoted translates to say, explicitly: "Let there be no compulsion in religion." That sounds like the complete opposite. And, once again, the second commandment of the Bible seems to imply that Christians also can't religiously be good Americans.
Scripturally – no. . .
Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran.Not all Muslims follow the five pillars. In addition, they only say, in an extremely summarized translation, "1. No God except for God with Muhammed as his messenger, 2. Pray to God 5 times a day if you can, 3. Give alms to the poor, 4. Fast from dawn to dusk for a month, 5. Make one pilgrimage to visit Mecca.". Maybe I'm just really dense, but I can't see how this could be a barrier to being American in any way.
Geographically – no…
Because his allegiance is to Mecca , to which he turns in prayer five times a day.Is this like a Catholic's allegiance to the Pope and the Vatican? Or a Jew's allegiance to Israel? In other words, bullshit.
Socially – no. . .
Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.No, the Qur'an says that Muslims should avoid being friends with treacherous unbelievers. The fact that someone isn't Muslim does not make them de facto treacherous.
Politically – no. . .
Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America , The great Satan.This is just fear-mongering at its finest. The Qur'an doesn't require anyone to submit to a mullah, which is in many ways the same thing as a rabbi.
Domestically – no…
Because he is instructed to marry four Women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34)Let me just throw a few Bible verses your way:
"Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but should be submissive, as the law also says." (1 Corinthians 14:34)
"If any man takes a wife, and goes in on her, and detests her, and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, 'I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin…" (Deuteronomy 22:13,14)
"But if … evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones…" (Deuteronomy 22:20,21)
"Slaves are to be submissive to their masters in everything, and to be well-pleasing, not talking back ." (Titus 2:9)
I think this makes my point. If we were to take every Bible verse literally, how many women would have been stoned to death shortly after they were married?
Intellectually – no…
Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.Hm. Muslims believe the Bible to be flawed. But since the Constitution makes absolutely no mention of God or the Bible anywhere, it's a moot point.
Philosophically – no…
Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran does not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.See above (Qur'an 2:256) – saying there can be no compulsion in religion sounds awfully similar to freedom of religion and thought. The latter statement about every Muslim government being either dictatorial or autocratic is just factually incorrect. Turkey is an example of a Muslim democracy. Many Muslim-dominated countries are also democratic.
Spiritually – no….
Because when we declare 'one nation under God,' the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in the Quran's 99 excellent names.Another completely incorrect statement. While the Qur'an may not refer to God as the "heavenly father" (And why the fuck does that matter at all?), words like "forgiving", "kind", "loving" "merciful" are attributed to Allah throughout the Qur'an.
Therefore, after much study and deliberation…. Perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. – - – They obviously cannot be both 'good' Muslims and good Americans. Call it what you wish, it's still the truth. You had better believe it. The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future.
Maybe we should be suspicious of ALL CHRISTIANS! I mean, if they're going to show allegiance to God and a Bible and stone women who aren't virgins and keep slaves and tithe and require baptism, surely that's completely anti-American, isn't it? I mean, you obviously can't be a good Christian and a good American!
The religious war is bigger than we know or understand. ….
No, the concept of religious freedom is obviously too confusing for you to understand.
Footnote: The Muslims have said they will destroy us from within.
So maybe they're the ones who are sending out these propagandizing emails. It's all part of their strategy to create this foundation of fear and hatred and distrust so that we destroy each other.
Debunking this took about 15 minutes of time and a spoonful of common sense. And it frustrates me to no end to think that my grandfather thinks that this is reality. That he should be suspicious of someone because they're different. And I wish I could show him how ignorant and wrong that really is.
Papa, if you're reading this, I love you and I'm sorry, but UNSUBSCRIBE.
Sarah Palin, the great white vaginal hope for many women who celebrate good looks and winking over intelligence and ability, was criticized yesterday for being spotted wearing a hat upon which the name of Senator John McCain had been blacked out. It was viewed by many as an attack on the ex-presidential candidate, even though Palin said that it was just her attempt to be incognito. (Because obviously, buying a different hat would have been very difficult.)
Critics, however, point to a few other actions she's taken that appear to be an attack on the American political system, the Republican party, and more specifically, John McCain:
Everybody have a great weekend!
As you've probably heard, Representative Joe Wilson made an ass of himself by yelling "You lie!" as President Obama spoke about health care to a nationally televised joint session of Congress. His completely unprofessional immature outburst has embarrassed the Republicans greatly, causing many of them to denounce Wilson's actions publicly. The more publicity-savvy Republicans, however, have found a way to capitalize on Wilson's poor behavior by hiring him out for a variety of venues:
And today's obnoxious Halloween tidbit:
Tickets for this year's Halloween party are now available for sale! Quantities are limited, but if you're planning on attending on October 24th, go over to the Halloween site to buy your admission ticket now!
If you aren't currently aware of the recent trend of teabagging, here's a good post that I read that links to two videos that explain the political phenomenon. Now, instead of only putting their feet in their mouths, conservative leaders are putting their nuts in the mouths of others, all part of a misguided plan to protest the lack of civil rights that they experienced under the previous president and the lowest taxes this country has seen for quite some time.
I'm not here to get political, though. I'm here to help. Since any publicity is good publicity, this is the best press that far-right conservatives have gotten since Sarah Palin was released on the unsuspecting public like an inconsistent hungry unvetted cougar.
In order to maintain this momentum, it's imperative that Republican party leaders jump on the chance to create more campaigns that will generate interest (and lots of chuckling) among the youth of America. With that in mind, here are just five of my many ideas for future protests:
1. The Hot Karl
The figurehead of this movement, Karl Rove, will express his outrage over the fact that global warming has affected our environment so badly. He will lead protests of angry Republicans who will demand more environmental safeguards, electric cars, and less reliance on fossil fuels.
2. Snowballing
Fed up with the ever-growing national debt that was obviously started by the incumbent President when he took office three months ago, right-wing activists will gather to sing a protest song "We Will Snowball You". Large snowballs made from styrofoam will be created and passed back and forth among the protesters.
3. The Dirty Sanchez
The illegal immigration issue that has plagued our country for years has finally come to the attention of xenophobic Republicans, who make their message by sending little dirty dolls that resemble someone from Mexico to their local congressperson. The protest is punctuated by hundreds of keynote speakers who are all white collar criminals who were granted amnesty complaining about immigrants gaining amnesty for violating our laws.
4. Beef Curtains
Recall after recall has infuriated the right-wing extremists, and they have decided that since they didn't care during the last eight years, maybe now's the time to complain about an issue that's already being corrected. The powerful beef lobby leads a massive protest, asking for more regulation and more oversight to make sure that companies stop making Americans sick by cutting corners and lying and cheating and bribing.
5. Cum Dumpster
Infuriated over the rising unemployment rate that must have been caused by our sitting President, ultra right-wing college and high school graduates who graduated magna cum laude or summa cum laude protest by throwing their diplomas in dumpsters across the country. Which their McDonald's manager make them pick up or they'd be fired.
So who's with me?
On Saturday I attended the Orlando Join the Impact rally, which was a peaceful protest in support of equality for gay Americans. These protests happened nationwide on Saturday and attracted throngs of people to every city where they were held.
This was my first protest, and I learned a few things.
1. There are no set rules for protest etiquette. I mean, you'd think if you're going to be standing there for a few hours, they'd have milk and cookies or pass around hors d'eouvres, right? But no. And when I asked anyone if they knew where the protest concierge was so I could check my umbrella, people looked at me like I was crazy! Nobody would validate my parking, either, and there wasn't a single concession stand to be seen. I looked for an hour!
2. The gay protesters' signs were not any better than any other signs. I totally thought that with all of that creativity, fierceness, and general artistic ability that seem to appear in a higher majority of gays than straights that each poster would be a work of art. But no. Most of them looked like this one:
3. Standing with James with Emma's empty baby stroller between us while Britt, Emma and Devin walked around and took pictures looked more like we were a gay couple who were making a statement with an empty stroller than we were two straight men who were just standing by an empty stroller.
4. It's harder to write protest chants than you think. Some of the failed ones I came up with included "No, YOU'RE Gay!", "Eve fucked Adam in the ass and he liked it", "Gay men should be able to give each other pearl necklaces for a wedding anniversary just like any couple" and "Heart is where the homo is." I guess I just couldn't get the cadence right.
5. If you drop a pen, do NOT bend over to pick it up.
Over all, it was a great experience, and it was amazing to see so many people gathered together for the cause. I cannot understand how anyone could vote to take away someone else's rights and make them a second-class citizen, and I just wish there was more I could do to help the gay community become equal in the eyes of the close-minded who hide behind Bibles to try to justify their hatemongering.
I don't.
However, a lot of people do. And I cannot understand it. I can understand what people see in John McCain – four years ago, if Bush hadn't run or if he had run as an independent, I would have voted for him. I think he's become a shill for his party now, but I can still see the attraction and I can see why.
The support for Palin baffles me. So I would like to ask my readers to speak up. I'm not going to judge you or make fun of you or make light of your decision. I don't want commenters bashing people for their decision.
I just want to know what you see in Sarah Palin that makes you think she's worthy of being Vice President.
Is it that:
1. She's a woman and you want to support a woman in the White House? If yes, did you support Hillary Clinton? If you are one of the Clinton supporters who switched from Clinton to Palin simply because of her sex, does the fact that each woman has a diametrically opposite viewpoint make you reconsider your choice?
2. If no to #1, do you see yourself in Sarah Palin? Does she feel like one of us? Is it that she feels like a mom with a family? If you do identify with her on a personal level, do you think that you would make a good Vice President? If you knew that her household income was almost $200K and she has assets of over $2 Million, would you still feel like she's just one of us?
3. If no to #1 and 2, do you think that she's an impressive leader? Have you done research and learned about her problems as mayor? About her issues as governor? Do you think that someone who is a Vice President of the United States should be able to name a major newspaper or magazine? What about a Supreme Court case? Do you think that she would do a good job as President when she seems uninformed in almost every area of running the world's most powerful country?
4. If no to #1-3, what is it? Why else do you like her?
Thank you for your input. I try to remain objective, and in a situation where I cannot, it's very helpful to have different perspectives so that I can see something that I must be missing.
