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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Category Archives: Rants
In lieu of homicide
Over the past week, I’ve felt my temper rising, just hiding under the surface like one of those zits that really hurts and you know it’s there but there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t lose my temper … Continue reading
Posted in Rants
62 Comments
The Nine Worst Abbreviations and Slang Used Today in Texting, Twitter and Facebook
I understand. You’re on Twitter and you have something so important to say, but you can’t get it into 140 characters. Or you’re texting a friend and don’t have enough time to write full words before you crash into the … Continue reading
Posted in Rants
Tagged abbreviations, comedy, facebook, humor, lol, slang, texting, textspeak, twitter, worst abbreviations, worst slang
80 Comments
Why the Casey Anthony verdict makes sense. And why you’re stupid.
The overwhelming waves of ignorant uproar drowned out Twitter and Facebook today at 2:15 EST after the verdict was read for the Casey Anthony trial. I read posts by people that blamed the jury for being stupid, blamed Florida for … Continue reading
The one where I talk about men and women and piss everyone off.
Do you know why so many women prefer the company of assholes over men who are their good friends? Because it’s instinct. It’s nature. A man’s job, as imprinted on his genes, is to fuck. Fuck a woman, spread your … Continue reading
I’m sick of your mediocrity.
Everywhere I look I see mediocrity. I see people settling because they think the minimum amount of effort is sufficient. All day long, as I work, I have clients who are some of the most highly educated people entrusted with … Continue reading
Fuck you and your fucking rapture, fuckers.
May 21st. That’s when it all ends. According to Harold Camping: I’m not going to let a hundred-year old man who looks like a sleazy accountant who rents an office in a strip mall between a Panda Express and a … Continue reading
Posted in I am evil, Rants
Tagged ageism, apocalypse, christianity, dark humor, end of days, end of the world, harold camping, humor, jesus, rapture
26 Comments
Fatty, fatty, two by four
First, some background: 1. Holly uses Jill’s blog to rant in a poorly-written post about fat people in scooters at Disney. It’s not funny, it misses the mark, and the comments go from cruel to butt-hurt to insane. 2. Jenny … Continue reading
Pet peeves
After being sick for a week, and then out of town for a party in Lexington, Kentucky, yesterday was the day that I finally caught up on the thousand plus blogs that were mocking me from the depths of my … Continue reading
Please for the love of all that is holy, do NOT go see Gnomeo & Juliet
On Friday, a movie called “Gnomeo and Juliet” will be entering theaters. It is, as the dumbest of you probably figured out, a re-imagining of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, involving garden gnomes that come to life when humans aren’t looking. … Continue reading
Posted in CYR, Rants
Tagged comedy, cyr, gnomeo and juliet, humor, movies, radio, talkshoe
69 Comments
Things I hate less than Progress Energy
Progress Energy is the utilities company for Florida and the Carolinas, and the worst one I’ve ever had the displeasure of relying on to provide my electricity. Their standards are so poor that even on mild days, transformers blow and … Continue reading
