Tag Archives: 2016

Election 2016: I’m with . . .

My opinion doesn’t matter. You’ve already dug in your heels, put up your blinders, and decided that, no matter what, you will not be swayed –  not by facts, not by conjecture, not by emotion. So my opinion doesn’t matter. But my vote does.

My vote matters, and almost more importantly, I’m not voting against someone. I’m not between a rock and a hard place. I’m proudly and firmly voting for a candidate.

While it’s unlikely I’ll have children, I have plenty of bountifully fertile friends. I have a nephew on the way. And I want to be able to look at those children – those perfect little humans, untainted by the prejudices, fears, and judgments of adulthood – and tell them that I voted with my heart, for them.

By the time they’re old enough, I hope they’ll be voting in a third- or fourth-party system, with a Congress that acts to benefit society because each senator and representative, finally subject to term limits, craves a better world to which they’ll return once their service is complete.

But more than that, I want them to be in a world where there is objective accountability for our police force, where all lives finally do matter and those important distinctions no longer need to be made. Where people can be intimate and share their lives with whomever they please without judgment and belittlement. Where religion isn’t used to divide, but to bring together.

This new world is going to have a scary transition period. There are so many white men who are terrified of losing their place of power and privilege and will do literally anything they can to keep a fingerhold on the edge of superiority. But eventually, one by one, they’ll fall, and an era of gender and racial equality will arrive.  The rest of us will know that there was never anything to be scared of at all.

Your children deserve a world where each person is valued the same. Notice I didn’t say a country. A world. We’re humans. Citizens of Earth. Homo Sapiens. We live in a global society, and we should embrace the move to globalization as a species. The only downside will be those who cling to nationalism in lieu of depth, or a personality, and in the long run, they’ll be just fine.

In this world that I can almost see, squinting my eyes against the dark, terrible sides and focusing on the bright, beautiful potential, we won’t assign more rights to a piece of barely viable tissue than a black adult man or someone from a religion different than yours. We’ll use the scientific tools and massive advancements at our disposal to better our society as a whole, not profit off of the weak and needy, building a home for all of us, where science, discovery, exploration, and expanding knowledge trumps superstition, fear, and ignorance.

As your children grow older, they’ll strive for greatness, getting the quality education they deserve without the yoke of student loans beating them into an early grave. And when they get sick, your children and their children can see a doctor without having to prioritize their health over groceries.

This future will still have the right to bear arms, but with some long overdue reasonability and understanding. Just like our First Amendment right to free speech, limited by being in a private home or workplace, by being obscene, by yelling fire in a crowded theater, by creating a clear and present danger, the Second Amendment needs some perspective. Bear your arms, but with limits, if only to prevent the deaths of children at the expense of those who misguidedly grasp at liberty.

Your children will be in a world where those who make the most money and who have benefited the most from the benefits and strengths of capitalization also contribute the most in taxes and support for others. Where nobody is afraid to report a sexual assault, where punishment is representative of the crime, and where we’ve decriminalized the drugs that do less harm than the pharmaceutical industry. Where our veterans get the medical treatment they deserve, educators get paid as they should, and the people have the power, not the corporations and sinking captains of industry.

I will be able to look your children in the eyes and say that I voted with my conscience and my heart for the betterment of humanity, not with my wallet. Not with the shadow of fear and hatred that can be dispersed with knowledge and research. I voted with an eye to the future, not a desperate need to return to the rose-tinted memory of an awful past. I voted for equality, acceptance, love, and generations to come, not for posturing and fearmongering, pride in belittling others, and a lack of accountability.

I have already cast my vote, and I sleep soundly at night with the confidence that when my candidate wins, our era of progress and achievement will continue, not have its flow staunched by ignorance and unintelligence.

I’m with her. I hope you will be too.

Not for yourself. For your children. For everyone.


I’m aware this may end up getting some controversial responses, but keep it civil. Any hateful speech will result in deletion and/or blocking, at my own discretion. Be the reasonable adult I know you can be.




1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

  • I performed my first funeral service, as well as my first memorial service. And I didn’t break down during either, though it was close.
  • I did my first corporate speaking gig (and my second and third) and they went amazingly!
  • I performed my first wedding for people I didn’t know, and they loved it.
  • I did a session in a sensory deprivation tank (zen float) for the first time, and it was amazing.
  • I went on tour, performing stand-up in nine different cities in the Southeastern United States.
  • I watched all of Rick and Morty, which is probably one of my favorite things ever.

Undercover Comedy Tour with Sean Finnerty and Adam Avitable

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t wait until the beginning of the year to make changes with my life. I’m always striving to be better, to be more honest, to be judgment free, and to love more.

That said, this coming year will see some major changes for me and my life, and I plan on making the most out of it, really fueling my creative fire, and making something worth sharing with others.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

So many babies! They’re so cute!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Stacy Campbell and Adam Avitable in New Orleans

5. What countries did you visit?

On Tinder, I visited Ireland, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, The Netherlands, Italy, and Greece. And based on my matches, apparently I’m being wasted here in the US.

In real life, though, I only went to Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Kentucky.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

Predictable income. Budgeting is so hard when I can’t tell how much I’m going to have at any given moment. This next year will be about saving, budgeting, and starting to really do the things that I have to do creatively before I go absolutely insane.

7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Other than September 16, when I lost Stacy, a date that I will carry with me always, no specific dates are etched on my memory. Only events.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

This beard. And pulling off the cowboy hat look surprisingly well.

Adam Avitable with an awesome beard and hat

Or maybe this. It wasn’t even an achievement, but getting this letter validated me more than almost anything I could have done on my own:

I finally checked the mail for the first time in a week and was buried under the veritable truckload of Christmas cards…

Posted by Adam Heath Avitable on Sunday, December 27, 2015

9. What was your biggest failure?

Everything. I feel like I failed most people and at most endeavors this year. I guess if they’re all failures, none of them is the biggest. It’s just one giant bowl of fail soup!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Do repeated blows to my ego and self confidence count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

This pair of red underwear:

And tickets to see and meet Weird Al.

Weird Al Yankovic with Sarah French and Adam Avitable

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

People who love, embrace our differences, and put the rights and lives of everyone over all else.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Everyone who contributed to the undercurrent of racism, bigotry, sexual discrimination, misogyny, and a lack of concern for protecting and preserving human lives in the world. You should all be ashamed.

14. Where did most of your money go?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

2015 has been the year of apathy, so I didn’t really have anything that got me so excited that it would stand out to me.

I generally have been disappointed so many times by my own expectations, as well, that I’ve learned by now to temper those expectations and just go with the flow.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? Nah.
Thinner or fatter? Eh.
Richer or poorer? HAHAHAHA!

A photo posted by Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) on

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Let depression rule my life.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I got up at 7 AM and played a video game for about twelve hours straight, at which point I realized that I hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink yet, so I made some food, drank a bottle of water, and went to bed.

21. Did you fall in love in 2015?


22. What was your favorite TV program?

Besides Rick and Morty, I loved Daredevil and Jessica Jones and The Flash and pretty much anything nerdy and geeky. This has been a great time for superhero programming. I love Jimmy Fallon and the Tonight Show, and I devoured Broad City and Inside Amy Schumer as well. I love how many good shows there are out there now.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hating takes so much energy. I’d rather just move on.

24. What was the best book you read?

I failed miserably in my goal to read as much as I wanted this year. I loved Lee Childs’ new book as well as Stephen King’s. I need to read more.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?


26. What did you want and get?

More gigs and more opportunities to prove myself on stage. More exposure in person and online.

27. What did you want and not get?

A winning lottery ticket.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I never thought I’d choke up at seeing Han Solo on screen again, but I did.

I also loved It Follows, Inside Out, Mad Max: Fury Road, Ant-Man, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Spy, Creed, and Trainwreck.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 38 and celebrated it like most mature adult men would . . . by having a crazy party at my house and having a hangover all day on the next day.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

Black. It’s not slimming, but it’ll do.

32. What kept you sane?

The people in my life who are important to me.

Comedian Adam Avitable with Olivia

With comedians Adam Avitable, Carrie Adams, Sean Finnerty, and Mike Brocki

A photo posted by Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) on

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Amy Schumer. She’s really come into her own recently and it’s been amazing to watch.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gun control. I don’t understand responsible gun owners who aren’t supportive of stronger methods to prevent accidental shootings by poorly trained, irresponsible gun owners who make everyone else look bad. I’m not even talking about mass shootings – that’s another issue altogether. But stricter control would protect two-year olds from being shot in the face by their idiot uncle who doesn’t know proper gun safety, and why the FUCK would anyone be against that?

35. Who did you miss?

Stacy. But as far as anyone else – I met new people, kept in touch with old friends, and rekindled friendships that I thought were gone.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I met so many new people and became better friends with people I already knew.

Olivia Mosley

Olivia. Amy. Alex. Kelly. Sarah. Marlene. Mike. Carrie. Alicia. Stephanie. Tom. Krystyna. Racheal. Keziah.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.

Don’t even think that you don’t matter. You do.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here?”

Thanks to my friend Maria for doing this every year, always acting as a reminder and inspiring me to do it myself.