With season finales happening left and right and very few worthwhile television series starting this summer, you have three choices when it comes to entertaining yourself until the fall.
Choice #1: Turn off TV. This is a bad idea. You see, the television-watching muscle needs to be exercised regularly and by turning off television for three months, this muscle will atrophy. And when it comes around to the new fall season, your atrophied muscle will mistake crappy television for good television. Before long, instead of enjoying smart entertainment, you'll be wasting time with "Random Dad Trying to Raise Three Lovable Kids", "I Love New York's Gonorrhea", "The Real Housewives of Utica", and "Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Plus Jon From Jon and Kate Plus Eight", thereby contributing to the mental downfall of society at large.
Choice #2: Watch whatever's on. With the exception of a few shows such as Psych, Monk, True Blood, and Ghost Hunters, there is nothing but unadulterated shit on the air over the summer. By subjecting your television muscle to this shit, you'll risk necrosis of your muscle, which will die and fall out through your nose. And then these drippings of television muscle will join together in the sewer, become a giant TV muscle monster that rampages through New York screaming, "SERENITY NOW".
Choice #3: Pick up some television on DVD to keep you occupied. This is the best option by far. You can exercise your television watching muscle with good, high quality television, keeping it in tip-top shape for the fall season. Plus, no rampaging monsters and society remains intelligent! "But, genius wonderful Adam, what should we watch?" I'll tell you:
- The State: The Complete Series
– Back when MTV had something of quality, The State was funny, quirky, dark, and launched the careers of actors like Michael Ian Black (Stella), Thomas Lennon (Reno 911), and Ken Marino (Veronica Mars), to name a few. Their best tag line is a tie between "I'm gonna dip my balls in it!" and "Two-hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding. Ohhhhh yeahhhhh."
- Pushing Daisies: The Complete Second Season
(also available on Blu-ray
) – The biggest tragedy of the past season was ABC's blatant fuckery with regards to this fascinating, beautiful show. ABC didn't even air the last three episodes (although they should be airing sometime soon), but now you can watch the episodes all the way through and marvel at the awesomeness.
- The Middleman: The Complete Series
– If you told me that I'd recommend a television series that aired on the ABC Family channel, I'd punch you in your endocrine system. However, this show was chock full of smart writing, great quips, and hilarious characters. The first episode is a bit slow, but get through that and revel in the fun. And mourn the non-renewal. Fuckers at ABC Family. I should punch them in their endocrine system.
- True Blood: The Complete First Season (HBO Series)
(also available on Blu-ray
– It's not subtle. It's heavy-handed. It has broad characterization. But it also has a rich world full of publicly outed vampires and a nubile psychic waitress played by the delectable Anna Paquin. Oh, and she's naked.
- Dollhouse: Season One
(also available on Blu-Ray
– Now that it's officially been renewed, it's time for you losers who didn't watch it the first time to catch up on the uneven yet brilliant season 1. This includes the unaired episode 13, which is an epilogue that takes place in the far future. Eliza Dushku still has to improve her acting skills, but a well-rounded, highly skilled cast helps bolster her less-than-chameleonic ability. It's no Firefly, but it's still Joss Whedon, which puts it miles above most TV.
Now, thanks to me, you will have a fruitful and healthy summer.
***
In other Avita-news, tonight at 9 PM is another new episode of "Clearly, You're Retarded"!
Tonight's topic: Is forgiveness divine or stupid?
Is it really a good thing to forgive someone who did an unspeakable wrong to you? Why should you speak to someone who hurt you badly ever again? If someone you hate is on fire, would you piss on them to put it out? Why or why not?
If you listen live, you can join everyone in the chatroom where there is usually a lively discussion going on that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. You can create an account at Talkshoe and download the Talkshoe Pro software or just listen as a guest. I recommend downloading the Talkshoe Pro software because even though it still has problems, it seems like the problems are more minimal with it. Hope to see you there!
to buy her a present!
– What can I say about this movie? It blew my mind. I want M. Night Shyamalan to stop making shitty movies and make two more. One called "Broken", and then a final one, "Fixed" and make this into the best superhero trilogy ever.
– Very few movies can make me tear up. This one does. It's an absolutely perfect movie. Every line, every scene, every word, every actor. 
– Maybe it's an emo movie or pretentious or over-the-top. I just know that when I saw it on HBO on late night, I was transfixed. And I can still watch it over and over again and see things I didn't notice or appreciate the first time.
– I don't know a single woman who loves this movie, but I know several men who do, including myself. Something about it speaks to me.
– It's Porky's with women. And absolutely hilarious. Every line hits home and every joke lands squarely. See Jason Bateman post-Teen Wolf 2 but pre-Arrested Development. And Selma Blair. Oh sweet Selma.
– She's the perfect woman. And this totally counts as a movie because it was out in theaters. I know, because I saw it in a completely empty theaters where I laughed until I cried and almost peed myself. And I laugh that hard every single time I see it.
– Joss Whedon finally gets a theatrical movie that's all his own, and the result is magical. An excellent swan song to a series that should have lasted for 10 years. 
– Daniel Craig's other film, Layer Cake, was also on my list, but this is superior in the sense that it turns the Bond franchise on its head. Gritty and raw, this is a new Bond for a new generation, and it worked tremendously well. Eva Green was beautiful as Vesper Lynd, and the story was gripping and took some interesting, unexpected turns. Great action and a great film.
– I had most major superhero films on my top 50 list – Spider-man 2, X2, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and Batman Begins. This one stands out (just eking out Iron Man) as being cinematic as a movie, not just a superhero movie. Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker was unique and disturbing and amazing and something that I relish the opportunity to witness every time I see it.
– Comedy, horror, and drama, rolled up into a tasty little movie that is surprisingly densely packed. The best thing to come from the UK since The Office.
