You can find last week's answers and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is a Palm-size RC Helicopter that actually flies!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! I'm trying to find a good balance between easy and hard questions, too, so if you feel frustrated, just answer the ones you know. Everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. You have two chances to comment with your answers.

Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

I've tried to make it slightly more Google-proof, although some of them are easily found if you're lazy. Otherwise, it should be simple, but if you have any questions, just ask in the comments.

Ready? Here we go!

---

1. Would you kill your neighbor?
The Klopeks? Sure. They're a bunch of creepy fuckers.

2. What’s one word that describes your last fight?
Ridiculous. Someone threw a pillow in my face in a hospital room and it almost smothered me.

3. What were you doing ten minutes ago?
Sliding through the house in my underwear and socks and Ray-Bans.

4. Do you carve pumpkins every year?
No – I don't want to blaspheme The Great Pumpkin.

5. What's your favorite season?
The winter. Although it's hell going through the giant hedge maze when it snows.

6. How are you feeling right now?
I feel like I'm going to die, but falling into the pool facefirst might make me feel better.

7. What did you do this weekend?
I cut out pictures of my girlfriend and glued them to my coathangers in my closet.

8. What is the last thing you touched?
Well, I touched the ear of this guy I was going out on a date with, and then touched my hair.

9. Have you ever been called a punk?
No, but I've been called a toaster.

10. Do you have a favorite number?
1.21

11. Do you hate anyone/anything?
Well I hate that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.

12. If you could meet anyone who would it be?
Well, I'd want to meet and fight William Shatner.

13. Last time you went out to lunch?
At a polo match when my friend's friend found out I was a hooker.

14. Say you were given a drug test right now.
You might find out that I've sucked dick for coke.

15. Do people ever spell your name wrong?
Nah. It's an easy one – Nahasapeemapetilon.

---

And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :
(more…)

You can find last week's answers and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is another iPod Shuffle!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! I'm trying to find a good balance between easy and hard questions, too, so if you feel frustrated, just answer the ones you know. Everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. You have two chances to comment with your answers.

Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

I've tried to make it slightly more Google-proof, although some of them are easily found if you're lazy. Otherwise, it should be simple, but if you have any questions, just ask in the comments.

Ready? Here we go!

---

1. How did you wake up this morning?
Fully dressed, on top of the covers, on my stomach with my butt in the air and my nose pressed against my pillow.

2. Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
As we fly into the sun to reignite it, I don't get to experience either.

3. Are you wearing any non-clothing items?
A hockey mask, plus I'm carrying a baseball bat and a golf club.

4. What did you do yesterday?
The Triple Lindy.

5. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
No, but I'd keep a watch in my ass.

6. Did you meet anyone new today?
This kid with an upside-down face.

7. Have you ever been on the radio?
Like, the CB Radio? Yeah, my handle was Lost Sheep.

8. What did you drink today?
Ten tons of Sunny D.

9. What's the last bone you broke?
None. But I have stabbed my brain when I had my finger in my nose and my dad launched our car through the air by accident.

10. Where was the last place you went shopping?
I don't shop anymore since I was apprehended shoplifting when I was five years old.

11. When did you go swimming last?
A while ago, when I was a kid. I was drowning when I was rescued by this naked blonde chick off Cape Cod.

12. What book did you read last?
The Necronomicon. When it wasn't trying to bite me.

13. Do you like animals?
Just my friend Rizzo.

14. Are you scared of spiders?
Yes, especially when they're the size of a car. I have to get William Buckley to kill them.

15. How do you walk?
Like Khaba.

---

And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :
(more…)

You can find last week's answers and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is a $30 Amazon.com Gift Card!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! I'm trying to find a good balance between easy and hard questions, too, so if you feel frustrated, just answer the ones you know. Everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. You have two chances to comment with your answers.

Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

I've tried to make it slightly more Google-proof, although some of them are easily found if you're lazy. Otherwise, it should be simple, but if you have any questions, just ask in the comments.

Ready? Here we go!

---

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes, but this time, Susan would probably be arrested. She'll have to wait until I'm 30 for real.

2. Last voicemail you received?
From my friend Marcus. He's in Egypt.

3. What did you do yesterday?
I traded in my halo to be with this beautiful doctor. Today really sucks, though.

4. What's the first thing you would do with 5 million dollars?
I'd have a Zoroastrian named Wilma shave my testicles ritualistically.

5. What color socks are you wearing?
White. They go well with my white loafers and gray suit.

6. What are you listening to?
Desperado. Every time I hear it, I stare off into space.

7. How many fingers am i holding up?
Six. On one hand.

8. When's the last time you cried?
When Claire died. If she hadn't had to drive me home, she never would have been hit by that drunk driver.

9. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I usually only jump through windows when they're skylights. It makes for a great entrance, especially if there's a bad guy inside.

10. What do you spend most of your money on?
Wigs, women's dresses, makeup, glasses, and everything else I need to be believable as Dorothy Michaels.

11. Who has your heart?
It's been totally eclipsed by Bonnie.

12. Have you ever kissed two people in the same day?
Are we talking about a church kiss?

13. Do you like yourself?
Only when I think about you. Then I really like myself.

14. What objects are around you right now?
Well, there are some moths, a pit, a hose, a bucket on a rope, and some lotion.

15. What's your middle name?
I don't have one. Neither does my brother Ambrose.

---

And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :
(more…)