Posts Tagged ‘anger’

Fuck you world

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Dear world,

Suck my cock. Suck it down and choke on it until you die.

Everywhere I turn, everything I read, all I see is darkness.

Depression, separation, death, pain, suffering, misery, sadness, anguish.

So many people are writing about their depression or their pain. So many of my friends. People I care about fiercely.

Two weeks, I saw a plea for help.

Last week, I read about a relationship being questioned.

On Monday, I saw a retreat from the world.

On Tuesday, my best friend was broken. She's rebuilding, but I fear that her optimism will never be the same. That her capacity for love has been damaged. That her light has dimmed.

On Wednesday, I got to listen to a close friend sob while she shoved her dead cat into her freezer until she could dispose of him the next morning.

I just can't do it. I don't want to see what horrors Thursday has to bring. But I have to. I have to be the boss. The friend. The spouse. The party organizer. The comedian. The consistent one. The reliable one.

And I will. Because that's what I do.

It's all relative

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

Just an excerpt of a frustrating, hair-rending, exasperating, interminable instant message conversation with a close relative of mine:

Me: you have some type of spam on your computer
Me: every now and then i get a random IM from you
Me: that's some weird spam
Avitarelative: I know…
Avitarelative: something is up…
Avitarelative: I ran my antivirus for 3 hours
Me: it has nothing to do with antivirus
Avitarelative: then I ran ad-aware
Avitarelative: and that found 27 cookies…
Avitarelative: removed them…
Avitarelative: then I uninstalled windows xp and re-installed…
Avitarelative: still when I go to mozilla or internet explorer when I type in a URL it goes to a different ad site
Me: yeah, search for your hosts file
Me: go to c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc
Avitarelative: k\
Avitarelative: where is that?
Avitarelative: c drive?
Me: i just told you
Me: jesus
Me: c:\windows
Me: \system32
Me: \drivers
Me: \etc
Avitarelative: k it pulled up a black screen
Avitarelative: ok I see the files
Avitarelative: now what?
Me: double-click the one called "hosts"
Me: then open it in notepad
Avitarelative: k comes up with an open with box
Avitarelative: k open in notepad
Me: copy and paste it here
Avitarelative: its too big
Me: ok
Me: is there a line that says this:
Me: "# Start of entries inserted by Spybot – Search & Destroy"
Avitarelative: yes
Me: ok
Me: ignore everything after that
Me: copy and paste everything that's before that
Avitarelative: its too much
Avitarelative: nothing is after that…
Me: there should only be one line
Avitarelative: bunch of wierd sites I never even went
Me: After it says "# Start of entries inserted by Spybot – Search & Destroy" there should be a bunch of urls on the lines past that
Avitarelative: theres a whole bunch of websites before the " # End of entries inserted by Spybot – Search & Destroy"
Me: jesus christ
Me: I asked if there was a line that said "# Start of entries inserted by Spybot – Search & Destroy"
Me: not # End
Me: for fuck's sake
Avitarelative: nice language
Avitarelative: yes there is
Me: ok, are you sure
Me: is it the same line that i just pasted?
Me: or is it a different line that you're going to say is the same?
Avitarelative: huh?
Me: ARARARARRRGGGHHHHH!

GrrArrgh

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008