By the age of 25:
Orson Welles had coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.
Charlie Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.
Janis Joplin had grossed over a million dollars with her first hit.
Charles Lindbergh flew alone across the Atlantic Ocean.
Joseph Smith founded the Mormons.
John Singleton had directed "Boyz 'N the Hood."
Jack Nicklaus had won the Masters.
Mark Spitz had won 7 Olympic gold medals.
Steven Jobs had co-founded Apple Computer.
Mary Shelley had written Frankenstein.
Each of these accomplishments pales in the face of the accomplishment of Sheila, who turns 25 years old today. Founding a religion, writing a book, earning a ton of money or medals – none of these accomplishments can hold a candle to her crowning achievement. By the age of 25, Sheila was friends with Adam Avitable. And that is obviously the zenith of her life. There's no topping it. It's all downhill from here. Next she'll be 30, then 50, then 75, then dead.
So go wish her a happy birthday while there's still time and it's still happy. Happy birthday, Sheila!
Click for some nipple licking
, when I sneezed at the exact same time I pooped. I don't think a person's body is meant to do that, and now it hurts to walk, to sit, to stand, to do anything. And here I always thought I'd hurt my back trying to suck my own dick.
