The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: christmas
2011 Listgasm: The Top Ten Worst Christmas Gifts
I’m going to round out the year with lists, because it’s the one time of year that writers can avoid sentences and formatting and creativity in lieu of bullets. Although I did make this nifty graphic: Here’s my list of … Continue reading
Posted in General
Tagged 2011 listgasm, christmas, christmas gifts, top ten lists, top-ten
17 Comments
My Christmas Gift to you: No Testicles!
That’s right. Unlike previous holidays, this Christmas I will not assault your senses with a photo in which I decorate my nutsack. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been too busy to Photoshop anything and … Continue reading
I’m just not feeling it. #Christmas
The last real Christmas I had was in 2009. A month prior, I had told Amy that I was unhappy in our marriage and had been going to therapy in secret to figure out what I wanted and needed in … Continue reading
The Twelve Days of Christmas in 2011
On the first day of Christmas, The whole world sent to me A free Casey Anthony! On the second day of Christmas, The whole world sent to me Two dead despots, And a free Casey Anthony! On the third day … Continue reading
Posted in satire
Tagged 12 days of christmas, christmas, current events, humor, parody, twelve days of christmas
4 Comments
Merry Christmas!
PS: This is not the Christmas card I sent out. I’ll post that card in a week or so. P.P.S.: If you’re in or near Park City, Utah, and want to meet up with me and a few other bloggers … Continue reading
I need a vacation!
Have you seen the Holiday Concert hosted by Neilochka? There are a ton of amazing contributions from bloggers all over the world, and I’m happy to be amongst them. Obviously, you can see mine over there, but I’m also sharing … Continue reading
What should I write on my holiday cards?
So my cards have been printed and I’ll be sending them out shortly. In previous years, I paid a company to address, sign, stamp, and mail them all for me, but because I’m feeling particularly creative (oh, and because of … Continue reading
Grinchiness
Three weeks ago, I talked about not feeling the holiday spirit. Whatever the reason, the upcoming season seemed like nothing but a hassle, and I would have loved to just skip December completely. Friday, I changed my mind. It may … Continue reading
I think my holiday spirit is in my other pants.
Yesterday, I was reading a post about holiday Grinchiness and I realized that I was feeling the same way. I really don’t want to have anything to do with the holidays this year. My Thanksgiving will be spent with my … Continue reading
Who wants a Christmas card?
I took a year off from sending out Christmas cards, but I’m starting early this year and I’m in the giving spirit. Well, in the sense that I’m only giving Christmas cards. No gifts. Just cards. Don’t assume I already … Continue reading








